Till Death Do Us Part
by bohemianbabe
Summary: Just before he is to marry Lexa, Jesse's past comes back to haunt him. Can he deal with the truths that he is about to learn, or will it be over with for Jesse and Lexa.
1. A Ghost of the Past

Till Death Do Us Part.

By bohemian babe

Pg-13

Lexa sat flipping thorough a bridal magazine trying to finalize her plans for the wedding reception. "Do you think it is too late in the game for me to call the caterer and have them eighty-six the stuffed grape leaves and bring in something a little more basic?"

"I'd have to say that it probably is." Jesse laughed and turned away from the computer. "We're getting married the day after tomorrow, and I doubt the caterer wants us to change any of our plans this close to the wedding."

"Well I still have to decide on the china and the goblets that I want them to use. You'd think they could handle one tiny change to the menu."

"I've done this before, Lexa. They like things locked in months before the wedding. You are just lucky that they let you make those changes last week. If it wasn't for the fact my family has used that company for years they would never have allowed it."

Lexa put down her magazine, got up, walked over to where Jesse was working, and sat down in his lap. "Come on, Jess." she lightly kissed him and put an arm around his neck. "I'm sure that you could use your influence to make them do what I want. You are so good at that."

"They won't go for it, Lex. I can definitely assure you that they wont."

"You aren't even going to try?" she kissed him again, drawing it out so that it was long and heated. "It would make me happy."

"We both know that I don't have the time to do any sort of bargaining with the catering company. I need to get a hold of the informant that I've been talking to for the last couple of months. I think he's just about ready to agree to a meeting."

"And you are sure whoever this person is has knowledge about what happened to Adam?"

"I am pretty sure that we can trust this person." he kissed her temple and closed his eyes as he held her. "I can't believe that it has been five years since we last saw him."

"I can't believe how much has changed since then." she looked at the ring on her left hand. "Shal and Bren married and on maternity leave since she's pregnant, us getting married. He's not going to recognize the team if he comes back."

"I've been here for all of it, and I don't recognize the team sometimes. It is hard to believe how far things have come over the last few years."

"I'm just glad that you finally got the courage up to ask me to marry you. I thought that it would never happen."

"Lexa, I want you to know that it has nothing to do with how I feel about you." he cupped her chin with his hand and gently kissed her. "I had a few personal problems that I needed to work out before I could make a serious commitment to you."

"It's ok, Jess. I've got you now and that is what I wanted." she held him close. "We've been through a lot of things and we're still here, still together."

"The scariest moments of my life were those when you were lying on that lab bed and I was trying to figure out how to stabilize you. I went through probably ten years worth of tests and experiments with in two weeks so I could save you. You don't know how many times I thought I was just about to loose you."

"But you didn't." she softly kissed him. "We're still together and I'm still alive. Some how you managed to fix things."

"That time." he whispered softly, not meaning for her to hear him.

'You'll find away to fix things, you always do." She kissed him again. "Now about my wedding reception."

"I can't fix that for you." he smiled slightly and took her hand in his. "When we get to our tenth anniversary we can throw a party, just as big as you want. Then I'll let you drive the caterers crazy by changing the menu at the very last minute."

"It's a date."

"Good." Jesse kissed her and then stared into her eyes. Five years had taken her from the cold, icy woman she had been to a happier, warmer person. She had lost most of her rough exterior and let the group in, though she was still slightly abrasive to any strangers that made their way near her. It was almost an easy relationship for them, much different than what it had been when they first got involved with each other. They still had differences in opinion and still got into disagreements, but they flirted and propositioned each other more than fought at those times. It was why it had taken him three years of dating before asking her to marry him, and why they had been planning their wedding for two years. Neither of them wanted to rush into anything. They both still had their secrets, but not because of a lack of trust. He understood that those secrets were a part of her past that Lexa could not stand to relive, and there was not a chance of him pushing her to relive them. He could never do that to her; he new what it was like to be forced to relive the past. She had unknowingly made him remember a few things that he would rather forget.

"Penny for your thoughts." Lexa laughed slightly. "You're loosing it, Jess."

"No, just thinking about a few things. Do you want to take a break from planning the wedding? We could grab and early supper, watch a movie, maybe get a shower or bath."

"Together?" Lexa smiled provocatively.

"Of course together. And after the bath or shower we could slip into bed. It would be just a nice quiet night together."

"Since Shal and Bren moved out it has been nice quiet nights together every night."

"Well I guess I could stay at the computer all night instead."

"You wouldn't dare!" Lexa laughed as he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to the sofa.

"You know me to well to think that I would do that." he laid her down on the sofa and then carefully lowered his weight over her. His lips softly met hers and one hand slipped under her head. "You don't know how much I missed being in bed with you last night." his voice went husky and he kissed her again.

"Not as much as I missed having you in bed last night." she felt her body go limp as she surrendered to his touch.

His hand slipped under the hem of her shirt and his fingers undid the front clasp of her bra. "You interested in making up for missing last night?"

"Yes." Lexa whispered weakly as she nodded.

He slipped her thin black t-shirt over her head and the straps of her bra off her shoulders and softly kissed her in the hollow about her right collar bone, making her tremble slightly. Both of his hands cupped her firm breasts and he gently kissed her lips again. The warmth of her skin under his hands made him smile, he really had missed her the night before.

Lexa managed to reach up enough to unbutton Jesse's shirt and slip it off of him. Her fingers were on the zipper of his jeans when the computer chimed. She sighed, her mood broken. "You'd better answer that. We can do this later."

"Right." he closed his eyes as he willed his body to forget how good it had felt to hold Lexa the way he had. He got up, went back to the computer, and sat down as he pulled up the email that had just come in. "We may have to wait till our wedding night to pick up where we left off. My informant is ready to be picked up."

"Then lets go." Lexa sat up and pulled back on her bra and shirt.

"No, you stay here. I'll go take care of this while you finish choosing the china and goblets for the reception. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on. "Maybe things will work out where we can enjoy ourselves."

"Just keep safe." she kissed him softly. "I want you to come back to me in one piece."

"I'll be fine." he glanced at his watch and smiled slightly. "You know, I've got two hours before I have to be there, and it will only take about twenty minutes for me to get there. We can still have a quick bit of fun before I leave if you want."

Lexa pulled him to her before he could even take a breath. They stumbled back over to the sofa and fell back together. It took them no time to pick up where they had left off.

One hour and Fifty-five minutes later

Jesse stood in the large clearing in the forest, waiting for his contact to arrive. He had carefully scanned the area before setting down and was only waiting for someone to show up; and hopefully that would be soon. It had been nearly thirteen years since he had been there and he was not anxious to relive the memory.

Flashback

_Jesse laughed as a red-headed woman carefully fed him a grape and then kissed him. His hands slipped behind her head and he held her in the kiss for a while. "Are you happy, Li?"_

_The woman smiled as she laid down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "Happier than I ever have been. Tell me something, Blake." she whispered using his middle name. "How are we going to explain all of this to Adam and Shalimar?"_

"_Shal already knows and she couldn't be happier. She would love for you to move in and become a sister to her. Adam is the one we have to work on." he gently stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. "Li, do you think we could make this work?"_

"_Make what work? We're managed to keep our relationship professional while we've been working and I don't think Adam has any idea that you and I are involved in a romantic relationship."_

"_I was thinking more about something else." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velveteen box. "I was wondering if you thought we could make a marriage work."_

"_A marriage?" she sat up quickly. "Are you asking me what I think you are?"_

"_Will you marry me, Miss Hart?" he opened the box and showed her the bright diamond ring._

"_Of course!" she kissed him and slipped the ring on her finger. "We'll make this work somehow I know that it is going to be hard, but I thing that it is worth it."_

"_I'll do whatever I have to so I can keep you. I'm not about to lose you." _

"_Jesse Blake Kilmartin, that is about the most romantic thing that you have ever said to me."_

End of Flashback.

Jesse turned as he heard someone walk up behind him. In front of him he saw a petite woman with long wavy red hair and soft brown eyes. "Madeline?" he whispered as he stared at her.


	2. Madeline Hart Kilmartin

_Jesse turned as he heard someone walk up behind him. In front of him he saw a petite woman with long wavy red hair and soft brown eyes. "Madeline?" he whispered as he stared at her._

"Oh, Blake!" she sighed as she closed the gap between them and threw her arms around his neck. "I've missed you so much!" She put her hands on his face and passionately kissed him.

Jesse closed his eyes and pulled her to him as he kissed her back. When they broke the kiss he put his hand behind her head and stared into her eyes. "How is this possible, Li? You died over twelve years ago in that car wreck. I identified the body. It is not possible for you to be standing here."

"It is a long story, Love. I'm just happy to be back with you. You don't know how much I needed you over the last few years. I have so much that I need to tell you, and I want to hear everything about your life." she hugged him tightly and laid her head on his shoulder. "I can hardly wait to put back on my ring!"

"Li, we really need to talk." he gently pushed her away. "You've got to understand that I really thought you were dead for these last twelve years. I'm supposed to be married the day after tomorrow."

"You can't get married, Blake! We're married! We're married to each other! You promised me, now and forever!" the tears started to run down her cheeks. "I still love you, Blake!"

"Li, our marriage was declared null and void after we all thought that you were dead. What did you expect me to do? Did you want me to spend the rest of my life alone?" he wiped her tears away and gently took her hand. "I'll be honest, I don't know what to do now. I still care about you a great deal, but you've been dead to me for the last twelve years. Lexa and I have taken a lot of time in getting to this point. I'm only able to marry her now because I've just gotten over loosing you, and now I have no clue of what to do. We are all three going to have to sit down and talk through this."

"Blake, I need to know, do you still love me?"

"Of course I do, Li." Jesse led her to the Helix Two. "But no matter how I feel about you there is still the fact that I am engaged to another woman who I love very much. I spent six years with her getting to the point where we could consider getting married." he shook his head slightly "Lets just go to Sanctuary and talk to Lexa about this. And before I forget, I don't go by my middle name at all any more. I'm not sure if Lexa even knows what my middle name is."

"Alright, Jesse." Madeline answered coolly. "But there are a few things that I should tell you about what has happened over the last twelve years."

"We can talk about this when we talk to Lexa. I cannot do anything unless we are all three aware of everything."

"You should know this before we talk to her. I don't want you to hear this for the first time while we are in front of your fiancé."

"Alright." Jesse punched in a few command on the Helix Two so that the autopilot was engaged. "What do you want to tell me?"

"When I left, and I will explain to you about that later, I was pregnant." she felt the tears stream down her face. "It gave me so much hope to know that I had a small part of you to carry me through. every time I stared to miss you too terribly, I looked in the mirror so I could see how my body was changing due to the child that was growing inside of me. Your child."

"Is that why you apparently faked your own death? Were you too worried that Adam was going to find out and try to take the baby from us?"

"I didn't know that I was pregnant until after I left. We conceived on our wedding night." Madeline wiped at her eyes. "We would have had a son to raise together if I had known. He was the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen in my life and for the split second that I saw him nothing else in the world mattered to me. I don't know how many times I've wondered how it could have been to be a mother, and I wish that I had been given the chance?"

"What happed to him?" Jesse took her hand and held it tightly.

"Bla-Jesse, I don't know how I can bring myself to say this. It still hurts me so very much. My superiors did not want me to have a baby. They tried countless times to get me to agree to an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption, but I couldn't do either of those things to our child. I think they decided that the only way to take care of the problem was to kill the baby. A week before I was due they gave me a shot, it was supposed to prevent me and the baby from catching some virus that was going around, but I know the truth. They killed the baby, and when I went into labor I delivered a still born baby. I saw him only for a split second and only because I begged the doctor to let me see him."

"Oh, Li, I'm sorry." he squeezed her hand. "I wish that I could have been there for you. I would have protected our baby."

"I know that you would have." Madeline smiled ever so slightly. "You always fixed my problems for me. Sometimes you fixed them before I even knew that I had them."

"I just could never fix my own problems." he let go of her hand and slammed a fist on the arm of his chair. "What am I going to do! I married you twelve years ago, promised that I'd stay with you until death; and now I'm just about to marry Lexa, to make that same promise to her."

"Are you still going to marry her now that I'm back? Now that we can finally have our life together back?"

"I love her, Li. I love her enough to chance making a life long commitment to her. I don't know what to do though because I still love you." he took a deep breath as he tried to think. "You know the only reason I came here was to find out where Adam is or if he is even still alive. I never expected to find out that my wife was still living, that a child I never knew we created was murdered by an organization that I probably know nothing about."

"We are going to get vengeance for our baby's death." Madeline promised. "And then we are going to fix the problems in our marriage and I will give you a child, one that we can raise together. I'm sure that Lexa will understand once you and I explain everything to her."

"Don't make plans yet, Li. I am still not sure how to react to all of this. There is a part of me that wants to tell you that I'll end things with Lexa, and that you and I will renew our vows and started our own family; but there is a part of me that is madly in love with a woman who I've spent six years getting to know, and that part of me wants to settle down and raise a family too, but with Lexa."

"You told me that you fell in love with me from the moment we met and that absolutely nothing could ever change how you felt about me."

"I know." Jesse sighed. "I remember."

Flashback

"_I want you to meet Madeline Hart." Adam said as he put his hands on the shoulders of the petite redhead beside him. "She is one of the best information specialists that you will ever meet."_

_Shalimar stared at the woman for a moment, trying to get a feel for her. Finally she nodded, her decision about the woman made. "It is nice to meet you, Madeline. I hope that we will enjoy working together."_

"_It is nice to meet you too." Madeline smiled brightly. "I am sure that you and I will become very good friends."_

_Jesse continued to stare at the woman. He could not help but think that she was the most beautiful and the most perfect woman he had ever met. "It's nice to meet you, Madeline."_

"_Thank you." she gave him a slightly softer smile. "I understand that we will be working together a lot since you are the computer expert around here."_

"_We probably will. I hope you have a high tolerance for people. Shal says that I tend to be extremely annoying about my interest in computers and get on everyone's nerves by constantly talking about them."_

"_Trust me, you and I will work everything out. I am absolutely sure that we can." _

End of Flashback

"Do you still believe that you and I can always make everything work out for the best?" Jesse asked as he got up and walked to the back of the plane to get two bottles of water.

"I don't know." Madeline admitted. "If we really could always make everything work out for the best I don't know why I had to fake my own death, or why our baby was murdered before he even had a chance to live. Little Blake would have never caused hem any problems. I would have found someone to help me take care of him. There were plenty of women working only as secretaries that could have easily done the job."

Jesse gave Madeline one of the bottles and walked back to the front of the plane where he sat in the pilots chair so he could land the Helix Two. "Then you know that somehow you might get hurt. I don't know what I'm going to do, but a decision will have to be made. There is just no way around it."

"I'm sure that you will make this work out." she opened the water and took a drink. "You always do."

Jesse nodded and then focused on landing the Helix Two. He set the plane down and cut the engines, all the time trying to figure out how he was going to handle the problem at hand. As he and Madeline stepped into the hangar Lexa came running to him, waving a plastic stick.

"Jess, you are never going to believe this!" she threw her arms around him. "I found out why I've been feeling sick for the last couple of weeks. I had my suspicions, but this just confirmed them and I'll let you run a scan to confirm it for sure. We're going to have a baby!"

"That's great, Lexa." he forced a smile. "That is really wonderful news."

"Hey, what's wrong?" she looked him in the eye. "I thought that you would have been even more excited then me about this. Do you not want to have a baby?"

"I do, Sweetheart, I do." he kissed her gently. "There is someone I think you should meet and then my less then enthusiastic reaction will be explained."

"Alright." Lexa answered, her happiness over the baby washed away.

"Lexa, this is Madeline." Jesse held his hand out to the red-head. "Madeline Hart-Kilmartin. She's the informant that I've been talking to, but she is also my wife."


	3. The Proper Thing To Do

_"Lexa, this is Madeline." Jesse held his hand out to the red-head. "Madeline Hart-Kilmartin. She's the informant that I've been talking to, but she is also my wife." _

"Your wife!" Lexa raised her eyebrows. "I thought that you and I were getting married! Now you are telling me that you are already married to some woman that you have never once mentioned much less told me about! Please tell me that you meant your ex-wife!"

"He didn't." Madeline stated coolly. "Once we take care of a few things I will be able to once again assume my role as his wife."

Lexa felt hot tears building up in her eyes. "How could you do this to me, Jesse! All these years of talking and planning! I thought that you wanted to have a family with me! I thought that you would be content to grow old with me! How can you tell me all those things and then bring her in like this!"

"I thought she was dead! I meant every word that I said to you, Lexa. I do love you. I want to marry you, have this baby and more with you, grow old with you, and do everything else t hat we've always talked about doing together. I was married to Madeline twelve years ago, and I thought that she had been killed in a car wreck. When I went to pick her up tonight I had no clue that she was who she is. I thought that part of my life was a closed, bound, and locked book."

"I understand your shock, Lexa." Madeline said, oozing with fake sweetness and compassion. "I never expected to find out that Jesse had gotten engaged and was planning to start a family with another woman. You are just as much of a shock to me as I am to you."

"What are you going to do, Jess?" Lexa asked in a hurt tone. "What are you going to do now that you know that this part of your life is not a closed, bound, and locked book? Are you going to break up with me and go back to your first wife or are you going to go through with our wedding?"

"Lexa, I don't know what to do, especially not now that I know that we have a baby on the way. If I did end it with you and go back to Madeline it would be like I was abandoning my child, and we all know that I would never want to do that; but if I marry you we both know that inevitably you will end up accusing me of only doing the 'proper' thing."

"Is that all you would be doing?" Lexa asked in a tone that Jesse had not heard her use on him or anyone else in years. "If you choose to marry me would it only be because you impregnated me and don't want to abandon your child?"

"If I marry you it is because I love you." he started to reach for her hand but stopped at the glare she gave him. "It has always been that way and it will always be that way. I am just saying that this will not be an easy decision, one or both of you is going to get hurt. We are all going to have to sit down and talk. I don't even know why Madeline faked her own death and left me the way she did. I want to know that before I say what I'm going to do about all of this. We are talking about the rest of my life here."

"Then lets all go talk." Madeline took the lead and walked out of the hangar.

Jesse and Lexa followed her out and showed her the way to the living area. They took the sofa while Madeline sat down in an overstuffed arm chair.

"I guess it is best if we start this story from the beginning." Jesse sighed. "There is no other way to make it easy to understand. It all started thirteen years ago..."

Flashback to thirteen years before.

_Jesse was hard at work when Adam came in talking on a cell phone. He looked up and watched as Adam walked back and forth in the room. For a year he had been living in Sanctuary full time and he still had a lot to learn from the older man._

_It had not always been that good though. He had been engaged a year before. Engaged to marry his high school sweetheart. They had been planning the wedding when he started to have problems with his powers. It had started out as just a minor problem here and there and then escalated. That was when he had decided that he could not life the life of a rich brat any longer. He had left Alisha and gone on with his life._

_Adam sighed as he hung up the phone. "Chris won't give me anything on that daughter of his!"_

_"Chris who?" Jesse asked absentmindedly._

_"Chris Hart. He and most of his family work with the government. His youngest daughter is an information specialist, and her specialty is information on the GSA. I wanted to see if she could do some work for us." _

_Adam sat down in a chair near Jesse's computer. "You do a good job, but she knows some people with inside information. She probably could know if they were planning to raid one of our safe houses the second they started to make their plans."_

_"You don't have to apologize." Jesse looked up. "We need all of the help that we can get and if Miss Hart can give us faster, better information we need to do all we can to get her on the team."_

_Adam smiled proudly. Even though Jesse looked at most eighteen instead of twenty one, the younger man was wide beyond his years. "You don't know how happy I am to find out that you are not offended by this. After we get Madeline on the team I will see about doing what I can to find another guy to join so you have someone you can talk with."_

_"I've got you and Shal to talk to, so don't worry about it. The team will grow when the time is right." Jesse typed away furiously. "I've got an office number for a Miss Madeline Hart in the CIA. Are you interested?"_

_"You almost make me feel guilty about calling her to come in and help us out." Adam laughed as he dialed the phone number. "Why don't you go take some time and spare with Shalimar while I talk to Miss Hart."_

_"Right, I'll give you the space that you need." Jesse nodded as he got up and left the room._

_One week later_

_Adam finished the final scan on the woman lying on the med bed and nodded in satisfaction. "Miss Hart, I am pleased to announce that you are in perfect health. I will call the team in and you can meet them."_

_"Alright." Madeline agreed as she smoothed out her white, linen dress. "I am anxious to meet the people that I will be working with."_

_"Good." Adam pressed a button to turn on the com system. "Jesse, Shalimar, I am ready for you to come meet Miss Hart."_

_"That is pretty impressive." Madeline said as she looked over one of the computers." You and the team must work hard on this place."_

_"We do." Adam turned off the scanning system. "They should be here in just a minute."_

_"No, we are here." Shalimar said as she and Jesse walked into the room. _

_"We've been waiting just down the hall for you to call us in."_

_"Why am I not surprised? I want you to meet Madeline Hart." Adam said as he put his hands on the shoulders of the petite redhead beside him. "She is one of the best information specialists that you will ever meet."_

_Shalimar stared at the woman for a moment, trying to get a feel for her. Finally she nodded, her decision about the woman made. "It is nice to meet you, Madeline. I hope that we will enjoy working together."_

"_It is nice to meet you too." Madeline smiled brightly. "I am sure that you and I will become very good friends."_

_Jesse continued to stare at the woman. He could not help but think that she was the most beautiful and the most perfect woman he had ever met. "It's nice to meet you, Madeline."_

"_Thank you." she gave him a slightly softer smile. "I understand that we will be working together a lot since you are the computer expert around here."_

"_We probably will. I hope you have a high tolerance for people. Shal says that I tend to be extremely annoying about my interest in computers and get on everyone's nerves by constantly talking about them."_

"_Trust me, you and I will work everything out. I am absolutely sure that we can." _

"_Shalimar, will you take Madeline and help her get her things set up. She wont be living with us full time, but occasionally she might have to spend the night. Tomorrow Jesse will be helping her with moving into her apartment." Adam explained as he led the two women to the door. He waited till the door closed behind them and then turned back to Jesse. "Jess, I think that we should have a word about Miss Hart."_

_"I don't have any problem with her working with me. I told you that from the start and I still mean it."_

_"I'm sure that you won't have any trouble working with her. What worries me is that you and Miss Hart might just find yourselves just a little too close. I realize that your break up with Alisha has been a difficult process for you, and I think that it is best for you to avoid getting involved with another woman so soon."_

_"Adam, I'm going to be working with her. Besides, she's a Hart. They are sworn enemies of my family and I have been taught to dislike them." Jesse sat down in a computer chair half smiling. "I will be working with her because you need us to work together. There won't be any foolishness going on behind the computers."_

_"Good." Adam nodded. "I want you to keep it that way."_

_The next day._

_Jesse set the mattress down on the bed frame and carefully adjusted it. He cursed silently as he realized that he still had to bring in the dresser, mirror, and chest. "Madeline, where do you want the rest of the furniture?"_

_Madeline stepped into the room wearing only a robe and carrying clothes in her hand. Her dark red hair was covered in dust and oil. "Don't ask. I turned on the ceiling fan and now the whole front room is a mess. Why don't' you run down to the corner store and pick up a six pack of beers and some sandwiches while I shower. We can eat quickly and then clean up the front room so you have a chance to rest before dealing with the rest of the heavy bedroom furniture."_

_"Right." Jesse struggled to keep his eyes from focusing on her robe's very low neckline. "You shower and I'll go get the food."_

_"You're welcome to join me if you want." Madeline smiled provocatively and then giggled slightly. _

_"No, I'll get the food. I'll be back in a few minutes."_

_Madeline smiled as she watched him leave and then headed to the bathroom to get her shower._

_Jesse left the apartment building and went to the small corner grocery store so he could pick up there lunch. He hand to be honest with himself, she was a very pretty woman and it would have been very easy to fall into temptation and join her in the shower, only her laughter that told him she was teasing had kept him from considering it too seriously. He quickly found the beer and then debated on what kind of sandwiches to get. Feeling almost childish he got some basic peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and went back to the apartment. When he stepped in the door he found Madeline with only a towel wrapped loosely around her body. "I've got lunch."_

_"Good." Madeline answered as she dug through one of her drawers. "I couldn't find my underwear earlier so I'm having to look for them now."_

_"You want me to start cleaning while you get dressed?" Jesse asked as he walked into the kitchen and put the food down on the counter. He had to do something to get his mind off the fact that only a towel covered the body of the woman and that he desperately wanted to find out exactly what was under that towel._

_"I wanted to talk to you about something." Madeline stepped into the kitchen, still clad only in her towel. "I have a proposition for you, and I hope that you will consider it."_

_"What kind of proposition?" Jesse asked nervously as he leaned back against he counter._

_"I'm used to having a good time, and frankly I don't want to waste the effort in finding a man to show me around the town. I want you to take me out and show me around town, at least until I can have some time to find a boyfriend. I'll get the pleasure of a guy's company while I discover what this place has to offer, and you will have the opportunity to satisfy those basic '**needs**' that I know you have." She smirked slightly as she sauntered over to him and lightly brushed her lips against his. "Think about it, Jesse. We could both have a really good time."_

_"I can't accept your offer. Adam made me promise that I would keep my relationship with you completely professional." he slipped away from her. "I'm going to work on cleaning the front room while you get dressed."_

_"Jesse," Madeline purred, "this can be professional too. I just want you to show me around town and in exchange I give you a little bit of fun. You can look at that part as you helping me too. Women enjoy sex just as much as men do." she stepped closer to him again and put her hands on his chest. "At least think about it."_

_Jesse closed his eyes, unable to move. It had been a year since he had been with a woman. After his break up with Alisha he had not even been able to think about getting involved in another relationship. Now he had a woman practically begging him to use her. There was no need for them to make a commitment, and she probably knew more tricks to use in bed than any other woman he would ever meet. All he had to do was enjoy going out, enjoy her company, and enjoy what ever physicality came out of it. It was too much to resists. "We can give it a try."_

_Madeline smiled wickedly and kissed him. "I promise that I will make this work for you. I know that you don't want to get involved with me, but I think our arrangement will benefit both of us."_

_"I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this, but I'm willing to try." he kissed her softly, enjoying the feeling of her mouth on his._

_"I'll take you to my bedroom and see if I can't reassure you about this." she grabbed his hand and led him out of the kitchen and into the bed room._

_That night around one in the morning._

_Jesse tried to sneak down the hall to his bedroom, holding his breath as he passed the lab. He and Madeline had finally managed to finish moving her stuff into the apartment. With each piece of furniture they had gotten in place they had '**celebrated**' with another round of sex, and had gone all out with a marathon round after they finished the entire job. The last thing he wanted was to have to face Adam after having gone against the one thing the older man had asked of him._

_"Getting in late aren't you?" Adam asked as Jesse tried to slip past the lab. "I expected you to be back hours ago."_

_"It took a while to get all of her furniture in and to help her set up some of the appliances. We hit a couple of small problems that we had to take care of, and she likes to enjoy a moment of happiness with each thing put in place." Jesse answered as he turned around, only half lying._

_  
"I'm surprised that she didn't ask you to stay over."_

"_She did, but I wanted to come back here so would have a chance to get a shower and put on some clean clothes before I got in bed."_

"_Don't allow her to intimidate you. She's a very forward woman, but comes with her job. You could probably take her down with in five seconds if you two were sparring."_

"_I don't know, Adam, she's pretty strong." Jesse half smiled as he remembered exactly how strong the woman was. He was definitely going to enjoying fooling around with her._

"_Go on to bed, Madeline will need to be picked up tomorrow to help you with the computers while Shalimar and I go out of town for the week."_

"_You two are going out of town?" Jesse asked, completely confused._

"_I told you about this last week. I have to go meet with someone and Shal is coming with me. I would bring you and Madeline along, but I want to have someone here to keep an eye on Sanctuary. It will give you time to get acquainted with Madeline and her time to learn about our systems."_

"_That's fine." Jesse nodded. "I'll make sure that she gets plenty of time working on the computers."_

"_I appreciate al of the work that you are putting into helping her adjust. I am sure that you remember how hard it can be to move to a new place where you don't know anyone."_

"_Yeah." Jesse sighed. "Madeline and I are probably going to go to a few places together so she can find out what there is to do around here."_

"_You are adjusting much better than I thought you would. I know that you have told me that you are alright with bringing Madeline in, but I can not get over the feeling that you must feel as if Madeline is here to replace you."_

"_No, not in the least. I mean, we need her help. I still have to help you with other things and maybe this will give me a chance to get out in the field more."_

"_I just want to make sure that you understand why she is here."_

"_She's here to help us. Do you want me to get upset or something? It doesn't bother me. Madeline is a nice woman and I'm completely alright with her being here."_

"_Alright, but I want you to let me know if anything bothers you. Madeline is going to be a part of the team, but I'm not going to let her cause trouble in the team that I have already built."_

"_She's not going to cause any trouble." Jesse smiled. "I'm sure that we are going to enjoy working together."_

End of flashback

"You were in an arrangement like that!" Lexa asked incredulously. "That's nothing like you! I'm going to need a few minutes to cool off and get my thoughts together." she got up and walked out of the room.

"Hard to believe, isn't it, Blake." Madeline smiled slightly. "You and I were just using each other at the start. Do you even know exactly when our relationship went from an arrangement of friends with benefits to a real, solid, romantic relationship?"

"For me it was the first time we were together on that day when I moved you into your apartment. I never have liked the fact that we'd slept together before going out, but I can't change that fact. I could never accept the idea of just sleeping with you to satisfy my '_needs.' _I knew that I was doing you a favor by taking you out on the town, but it just didn't sit right with me." he picked up the pregnancy test that Lexa had left of the coffee table. "Damn, I can't believe that she's pregnant. I can remember when she was completely against the idea of having children."

Flash back to 'The Prophecy'. episode 3.20

_Jesse was working on the computers with Lexa just across the console from him. It was just another routine mission, but it was one that had his mind on the future. Was there a possibility that cold Lexa would ever agree to having a family._

"_I'll tell ya," Lexa said as she worked, "I don't know what those link heads were thinking, two mutants having kids is stupid enough but mixing four…"_

_Jesse looked up at her in surprise "Whoa, back that up, just back that up. Two mutants having kids is stupid? Since when?"_

"_Since eighty percent of the time they are a biological disaster" Lexa answered in a matter of fact tone._

"_What about the other twenty?" Jesse pushed._

_Lexa shrugged slightly "Selfish impulse."_

"_Lexa, last time that I checked procreation was a basic human right"_

"_Well the last time I checked we aren't basic humans."_

_Jesse turned away from her looking down cast._

"_Oh stop looking at me like I just killed your puppy." Lexa sighed. "You know I'm right Jesse. Our very existence is screwing with the natural order of things the only way for us to make it right again is to let us mutant die out, that's it." Lexa turned back to her work for a minute. "I've narrowed it down to three rock formations close to where Brennan and Riley last saw the Guardian. Do you want to come take a look?"_

"_You're ashamed of your mutation." Jesse answered._

_Lexa stared at him. "Oh my god, what are you talking about?"_

"_I can't believe that I've never noticed it before." Jesse shook his head as he looked at her. "But admit it, deep down you're a self-loathing mutant." He got up and walked around to the other side of the computer, still not out of shock._

"_Do you hear how stupid you're sounding right now or is it just me?"_

"_Well, I mean you're not exactly the poster child for the picture perfect family, so why should it surprise me that you're and anti-breeder."_

"_Ok. Well I'm also right. Tell me, Jess. How many times have we had to step in to advert a mutant caused disaster just with the few of us that exist so far?"_

"_That is such a cheap argument!"_

"_No, it's not!"_

"_Oh, come one! As if there is no criminals out in the normal society as well!"_

"_None that are their own personal biological weapons, no!" _

_Jesse sighed._

"_It's evolution, Jess." Lexa said as she stepped closer to him. "Survival of the fittest. That's us. We'll live and we'll thrive, but the rest of humanity is going to die and that's not what's supposed to happen."_

"_What if it is?" Jesse question._

"_What?" Lexa asked in disbelief._

"_What if there are no cosmic accidents. What if Adam was supposed to create us, and we're the beginning of, I don't know, the beginning for a new phase of humanity."_

"_What ever helps you sleep at night." she turned away from him and went back to her computer. "I guess we're just going to have to agree to disagree, that's all."_

"_Fine."_

"_Fine."_

_Jesse sat quietly for a moment, but could not help but try again to press his argument. "Lexa, please. All I'm saying is that if there was a hundred little baby Lexa's running around in the world that were all going to grow up to be just like you I happen to think that the world would be a better place. A frustrating pig-headed, beautiful place."_

_Lexa turned to him, half smiling._

"_What?" Jesse asked, slightly annoyed by the lack of progress in his conversation with the woman._

"_Sometimes," Lexa answered as she walked over to him, "you know for a moron, you say exactly the right thing."_

End of Flashback

"Blake," Madeline whispered as she moved to sit next to him, "I love you very much, but I can not stand to sit here not knowing if I even have a slight chance to win you back to me."

"Li, I don't know how I am going to handle this." he put the test down and took Madeline's hand. "You know that I love you very much. I never would have married you if I didn't love you, but I'm still trying to understand that you are still alive. I have spent twelve years getting used to the idea that you were dead, and then tonight I found out that you are still alive and that my fiancé is pregnant with my baby. Even if we don't get back together I am always going to love you. You were my first wife, and nothing can ever change that."

"I love you so much, Blake. You've got to understand that." Madeline whispered.

"Blake? Lexa asked as she stepped back into the room. "You do realize that his name is Jesse don't you?"


	4. A Complicated History

hey guys! Here is another chapter for you! I've been working like crazy on finishing this story up, and trust me it is going to be quite a long one! I'm hoping that if you have anything that you'd like to see you'll tell me. I'm looking for anyideas for Jesse and lexa's possible dates, and anything elset hat you want. I would even love to know what you want to see madeline doing...can hardly wait for those reviews!

martana

"_Blake? Lexa asked as she stepped back into the room. "You do realize that his name is Jesse don't you?"_

"Blake is my middle name." Jesse explained as he let go of Madeline's hand and reached for Lexa's. "I guess that I never told you that since it was never that big of an issue. You would have found out tomorrow when we sign the marriage license."

Lexa took Jesse's hand and sat down in his lap. "Jesse Blake Kilmartin, I like the way that sounds."

"You two still haven't gotten your marriage license?" Madeline raised an eyebrow. "You got ours almost on the same day that we got engaged. I can't believe this, Blake."

"I just haven't had that much time to get that taken care of." Jesse pulled Lexa closer against him. "Lexa and I have been planning the wedding and trying to run everything around here. If you'll remember it is not an easy job to run things with just two people."

"It helps when you actually focus on the job." Madeline smirked and then gave Lexa a fake smile. "He and I really got to know each other that week while Adam and Shalimar were gone."

Start Flashback

_Madeline giggled as she walked up behind Jesse and put her arms around him. "Aren't you ready to take a break yet?"_

"_We still haven't gotten fully re-dressed after the last break." he swiveled the chair around and pulled the giggling woman onto his lap. He kissed the top of her head and swiveled the chair back around to face the computer again. "Let's get just a little work done and then we can have some more fun."_

"_You are really no fun when you are around computers." Madeline snuggled back against him. "How much work do we have to do before we get back to our fun?"_

"_A couple of hours, then I think that we should eat something. I haven't had a singe bite to eat since Adam and Shal left yesterday." he intertwined the fingers of his left had with hers. "I'll need some energy if I want to keep up with you."_

"_Alright, we can put a couple of hours in at the computers and then we can cook together. Then after we finished cooking and eat," she cupped his face with her free hand and kissed him softly, "you and I can get back into bed. Maybe we can try a few things that I picked up when I was working undercover in Vegas."_

"_I guess while we cook I'll show you some tricks I learned while I was in Italy. You would be amazed at exactly what the right combination of food and wine can do to a person." he lightly kissed her, barely brushing his lips against hers. "You are really going to kill me you know." _

"_Now we don't want that." Madeline rested her head on his shoulder. "are you enjoying yourself so far this week?"_

"_It's been nice. I haven't spent this much time with a woman since my ex-fiancé and I broke up. It is almost relaxing to be with you like this."_

_Madeline frowned slightly. "You've been engaged?"_

_"To my childhood sweetheart. She and I grew up together and we got engaged right after I got out of high school. We broke up almost a year ago."_

_Madeline relaxed slightly. "I'm sure that we are going to have a real good time this week. We are involved in the perfect kind of relationship, all of the fun and none of the commitment." She smiled coyly as she relaxed into Jesse's arms. "Of course we are going to need to figure out how we are going to handle things after the others get back. I get the feeling that Adam is not going to approve of how we are going to be involved with each other." _

_"You are definitely right about that. Adam is not too fond of the idea of any of the team getting involved with each other. Friendship or a family bond is fine, but you can't move into the area of a physical or romantic relationship." _

_"Then it is a good thing that this is only temporary." she frowned again as another thought came to her. "Is he OK with us developing relationships that are romantic or physical with people who are not on the team?" _

_"He doesn't expect us to never engage in a physical relationship. He just feels that it brings too much stress when team members get involved with each other, and our jobs are stressful enough with out adding anything else." _

_"Well I guess that I can understand that. What would happen if two team members did decide to get involved with each other? Would they be asked to end the relationship or would Adam just kick them out of the team?" _

_"I'm not sure. We've never had the problem come up before. He might ask them to drop out or he might ask them to break up. For all I know he might even ask them to do something else. He could just do something like warn the couple that their relationship can't interfere with the job, and that if the relationship ended in a break up he would still expect them to be professional enough to work together." _

_"Do you really think that a couple could do that?" Madeline sat up and slid off his lap. She paced back and forth beside the computer. "I know how hard a break up can be if you share common friends, but if you have to work together in a job where you have to trust your team mates with you life, and if you possibly have to live in the same base of operations it would be almost impossible. And what about getting involved with someone outside of the team? Are you going to be asked to drop out of the team if you get serious with that person? Are you going to be asked to keep your powers and your work a secret? Are you going to be required to give up your entire identity to hide from any and all enemies?" _

_"Madeline, just take a breath and calm down. I don't know how Adam would handle either situation because it has never been a problem. Neither Shal or I have ever gotten involved that deeply with anyone." _

_"What about your ex-fiancé?" Madeline stopped in front of him. "Why did you break up with her?" _

_"Alisha and I broke up because I felt uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. I didn't fit in that world, her world; and she would not fit here in my world. The only thing that I could do was break up with her. Now she's got a chance to find her own life with someone who will actually fit in with that life." He reached out and took her hand so he could pull her to stand in front of him. He put his hands on her hips, gently moving her so that she stood between his legs, and looked straight into her eyes. "Right now you've got nothing to worry about. I'm not going to tell Adam what is going on between us, all he knows is that I'm going to take you out and show you around town. He doesn't know that we are going to have a physical relationship, and it is none of his business if we have that relationship." _

_"I'm just trying to enjoy what we are doing, I really am. It is just hard for me to accept the fact that I may not be able to truly enjoy myself. I don't want to have to give up my fun because of some silly rule that Adam has, but I also know that we aren't going to be able to sneak it around him for very long." _

"_You would be surprised about what you can get around Adam. I once managed to sneak in a new car and he didn't notice for six or seven months. If he hadn't gone out to the garage he probably wouldn't have noticed for a while longer. Adam almost never comes out of that lab of his." _

_"And what about Shalimar?" Madeline took a deep breath to calm herself. _

_"Even if she doesn't see us sneaking around she will be able to tell. We'll both have each others scent strongly on us and I don't think that we can get out of it no matter what we do. __Shal wont really care about it. She's pretty easy going about most things. I'll have to reassure her that I'm OK with this, but there won't be a fight or anything." _

_Madeline smiled slightly and then leaned down and kissed him deeply. "Then we can lock Adam in his lab and explain anything to Shalimar that we need to. Maybe it won't be all that hard for us to have our fun." _

_"I'll be making sure that we get to have our fun." he pulled Madeline back onto his lap and kissed her. "You know, I think that I could take a break from the computer for a while. We could slip off to my room and have a little time together." _

_"That sounds great." Madeline smiled as she kissed him. Her pulse was already racing and she could feel her body heating up. "Oh, Jess, you are going to kill me." _

_He kissed her again, almost devouring her mouth. "You might just end up killing me first." _

_Madeline slipped off his lap and grabbed his wrist to lead him back to his bed room. "You'll think you've died and gone to Heaven by the time I'm done with you." she gave him a wicked smile and pulled him to her for another rough kiss. _

_Jesse held her close to him as he kissed her and then led her over to the sofa. _

_They fell back on the sofa, still kissing. _

_Madeline tightened her arms around him, enjoying the feeling of his weight over her. She softly kissed him and then flipped them, sending them crashing down to the floor. _

_Five days later. _

_Jesse woke up as Madeline kissed him. He smiled slightly as he returned her soft kiss and then pulled her close against him. "It's been a good week." _

_"I'd have to agree." Madeline answered as she stretched lazily. She laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled closer to him. "I have to go back home tonight." _

_"Don't remind me." Jesse sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do with out you around to keep me from getting bored." _

_"We should have time for one more round." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her thoughts all went to how happy she was at that moment. __"And I'll think of an excuse to get you over to my apartment for a few days." _

_"That sounds like a good plan. Now, why don't we forget about having sex this time and just spend an hour like this. I think that I might just enjoy holding you in my arms this way for a while." _

_"Good plan." Madeline relaxed further, letting herself start to fall asleep. "I don't think I have the energy for another round right now anyway." _

_Jesse closed his eyes and they slowly fell asleep. _

_Two and a half hours later _

_Adam and Shalimar walked into the compute lab of Sanctuary, looking for Jesse and Madeline. _

_Adam was surprised to see that neither of his two computer lovers were at work, but decided not to worry too much about it. "Shal, why don't you go find Jesse and Madeline. It is still fairly early and they still be in bed. If they are wake them up and we'll all have breakfast together." _

_"Alright." Shalimar left the computer lab and headed to the bedrooms to find Jesse and Madeline. She stepped into Jesse' room and her brown eyes went wide when she saw that both of them were in the bed together. "Jesse!" she harshly whispered. _

_Jesse woke up at the sound of his name and went pale when he saw Shalimar in front of him. "Oh, damn it. This isn't what it looks like, Shal." _

_"Right, not only did she decide to sleep in your bed with you she also was crazy enough to decide to have sex with you." Shalimar smirked. "You know that you can't trick me on this one." _

_"So what if she did." Jesse sat up, careful not to disturb Madeline. "She and I are both consenting adults." _

_"I won't tell Adam." Shalimar promised as she picked Jesse's clothes up off the floor and handed them to him. "In fact I think I'll help you sneak your little secret around him. I could use a little excitement." _

_"Don't tell Madeline that you know anything about this. I am going to explain it to you later, but for now I don't feel like getting into this. I'm just too tired." _

_"I'm sure that you are pretty damn tired right now." Shalimar smiled slightly. "You two need to be in the kitchen as soon as you can be. I'll try to keep Adam from coming in here, but we don't want to make him suspicious." _

_"We'll be there in a minute." Jesse promised as he pulled on his shirt. "I wouldn't want to upset Adam over this." _

_"You wouldn't want to get caught in bed with Adam's newest pet project. He's really got some plans for her and her skills with information gathering." _

_"I'm sure." Jesse sighed. "Now get out of here so I can wake Madeline up." _

_"See you at the table." Shalimar smiled as she left the room. _

_Jesse laid down on his side and gently stroked Madeline's jaw line with his fingertips. "Madeline, we've got to get up now." He whispered softly. "Adam and Shalimar are back so you don't get to sleep in this morning." _

_Madeline shifted slightly and slowly opened her eyes. "Do we really have to get up? Couldn't we just go ahead and tell Adam that we are doing this?" _

_"Madeline, you really need to wake up. You aren't even making any sense right now. Let's just get you up and dressed so we can get you some coffee."_

_"Coffee sounds good." she sat up carefully. "We'll get out coffee and then you can drive me back to my apartment. Maybe we'll even have a little bit of fun once we get there." _

_"As long as Adam doesn't expect me to drop you of and come straight back. He may have some work that he wants me to do for him." he softly kissed her. "Don't count too much on us having any fun because there is normally a ton of work for me to do once Adam gets back from one of his trips." _

_"Well if he doesn't let you stay for a while when you drop me off, Adam will be getting a phone call from me saying I need your help on something." Madeline decided as she picked up a robe and wrapped it around herself. _

_"I'm not about to miss out on my fun." _

_"I can take you out tomorrow night. Late dinner and an even later movie, and then you can have me stay over with you so I don't have to drive back here so late at night." _

_"You are going to be very good at this." Madeline got up and walked to the door. "I'll see you at the table."_

_Two months later._

_Jesse gently stroked Madeline's back and ran the fingers of his hand through her hair. His head rested against the heavy wooden headboard and Madeline was close beside him with her head on his chest and one arm tight around him. He sighed as he heard his cell phone ring. He carefully reached over and picked it up off the bedside table. Checking the number, he frowned when he saw that it was Adam calling him. "What's going on, Adam?"_

_"You and Madeline were supposed to be here three hours ago. I understand that you two have been working hard for the last week, and that your flight came in extremely late; but you need to get back here. I don't want to wait any longer than I have to before I we go over the mission and Madeline's performance during it."_

_"She did an excellent job." Jesse answered, his words laced with a double meaning. "I'll wake her up and we'll be on the way with in an hour."_

_"Don't bother. By the time you got here it would be time for you to go back to her apartment. You two have to be there when her new neighbor arrives tomorrow. I want to make sure that the relocation goes smoothly."_

_"I'm sorry that we overslept. I promise that we'll be back to fill you in on all the work during the mission at the very first opportunity that we get."_

_"You can email the reports to me." Adam sighed. "Ever since Madeline joined the team you seem to be having trouble with keeping up with the time. We will have a serious talk about this when you get back in two weeks. Shalimar will bring you some more clothes for the next trip."_

_"Have you gotten any word on when our place will be finished?" Jesse shifted slightly and slipped away from Madeline so he could go to the living room. "Once we get that we wont have to be so dependant on commercial flights."_

_"At least another two months and then you will have to learn how to fly it." Adam took a deep breath. "You and Madeline are both going to have to work very hard if you expect me to allow you two to go on any more missions together. I cannot afford to have mistakes being made."_

_"This mission will go smoothly, and I promise that Madeline and I won't be late anymore." he sat down in one of Madeline's chairs. "I'll make sure that we stay on time from now own."_

_"You do that. I have always required a lot from you, and you have always done well. Don't let a woman mess up your nearly perfect record." Adam warned as he hung up the phone._

_Jesse put his cell phone down just as Madeline walked into the room. "You get enough sleep last night?"_

_"Unfortunately." Madeline gave him a coy smile and then sat down in his lap, curling up close against him. "Who was that on the phone and what did they want?"_

_"It was Adam, and he called to reprimand us because we were supposed to be back three hours ago. He said for us not to bother going to Sanctuary though. We can email our reports to him and he's going to send Shal by with me some clothes for our next trip."_

_"Where are we going this time? Somewhere exotic or some where cold where I'll have to curl up close to you for heat?" Madeline kissed his neck and closed her eyes as she pressed close against him._

_"Nevada, but it is still cool enough that you'll probably spend a lot of time with me, and we are going undercover as a couple again."_

_Madeline smiled and tangled the fingers of one hand in his nearly shoulder length hair. "I'm getting tired of us just fooling around. I love you."_

_"I love you too, Madeline." Jesse whispered as he held her close. "I've loved you from the moment that I met you."_

_"You know that this is going to be practically impossible, don't you? Adam can never know that we've ever been involved, and Shal can never know that you and I truly care about each other. It is risky enough for her to know that we've been involved at all."_

_"We can make this work, Madeline. I know how to sneak things around Adam, and Shal will never tell anyone anything. She's good at keeping secrets. She's kept several of them for me." Jesse gently stroked her back. "I promise that we will find away to make this work. There are plenty of things that we can do."_

_"I don't want to loose you, Jess. I promise that I will do all that I can to keep you. I won't let anything or anybody come between us."_

End of flashback.

"It was always a struggle." Madeline smiled wanly. "Adam always interrupted our dates, and sometimes he'd page Jesse at really bad moments. We fought so hard for our relationship."

"It was a fight." Jesse glanced at the clock. "We probably need to go to bed now. It is pretty late, and there is still a lot of this story to go over."

"And I've got an early morning appointment to get a manicure and a pedicure. Not to mention that there are still a few little things that I want to pick up for the wedding and the wedding night." Lexa got up and walked out of the room.

"She's totally convinced that you are still going to marry her." Madeline leaned in and kissed him.

Jesse resisted for a moment, but fell into the kiss. His hand cradled the back of her head, and the other hand rested on her waist.

Madeline moved over so she was straddling his lap and pressed herself close against him. "I want to be with you, Blake." She whispered after she broke the kiss. She locked her eyes on his and put her hands on his shoulders. "I want you to carry me off to your bed room and to make love to me for the rest of the night."

"I know you do, Li; but we cant. I'm engaged to Lexa, and she would not be happy if I did that."

"No matter what the hall of records says, you are married to me." Madeline's tone became slightly vicious. "Now, I can forgive you for hooking up with Lexa since you thought that I was dead, but you are not going to tell me no just so you can keep her happy. I won't have you cheating on me."

"I know that you can be territorial, but this is not up to you. Our marriage was annulled and you are going to have to accept that. I can decide what I want to do. I am going to be sleeping in one of the guest rooms unless Lexa has gone back to her old room."

"Fine." Madeline got up and stormed out of the room.

Jesse shook his head as he watched the woman leave. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the first number on his speed dial. "Hey, Shal. Sorry to call so late, but I need to talk to you about something."

"Hey." Shalimar answered sleepily. "I just woke up with a craving for some strawberries, so it is ok. what do you need to talk about?"

"You are never going to believe who my informant on Adam is."

"You picked him up?" Shalimar woke up instantly. "Who is he?"

"Special agent Madeline Hart Kilmartin." Jesse answered and gave a weak laugh. "She's not dead, Shal."

"Are you sure that it is really her?"

"Completely. I've never found another woman who kissed me the way Madeline did."

"Asking for trouble, aren't you?" Shalimar took a halting breath. "Madeline is back. That idea is really going to take some work to get used to."

"You're telling me." Jesse leaned back against the sofa. "What in the world am I going to do now?"

"It's not that bad is it, Jess?" Shalimar asked concerned about him. "I know that you love both of them, but you actually worked on developing a relationship with Lexa. When you and Madeline first got involved with each other it was just for sex and fun; there was never any real connection there."

"I thought that you liked her."

"She's alright, and she's always been alright; but I never really liked the idea of you two together. It always seemed like you two were rushing through every part of your relationship, and when you married here it was a shock to me. I never thought that you of all people would let a woman come between you and Mutant X."

"I still care a great deal about Madeline. I still love her a great deal. She was my first wife, and the first woman that I got involved with after my breakup with Alisha. Of course I also love and adore Lexa. She and I have been through a hell of a lot together, and I cant imagine living my life apart from her or the baby."

"What baby?" Shalimar asked, greatly surprised.

"Lexa is pregnant." Jesse shook his head slightly. "I wanted to have kids with her, I fought with her over it until she agreed to consider it, and then I fought with her until she decided that she did want to have a baby. This thing with Madeline is another stumbling block for me and Lexa. How do I tell either one of them that it is over?"

"I don't know, all I know is that I think you and Lexa have a better chance of withstanding the test of time. You know how impossible it can be once you get in a relationship, and from what I can see you and Lexa are far more compatible than you and Madeline are."

"I'll give you that one. One of us always ended up walking out when Madeline and I got into a fight." Jesse smiled as he thought back.

Flashback

_Twelve years and two months earlier._

_"Blake, I've got more receipts for you." Madeline called as she walked into Jesse's room. _

_Jesse stood by the computer with his arms crossed over his chest and gave Madeline a very serious look. "You are way over budget. We can't afford a wedding like this."_

_"I know that we can't." Madeline gave him a bright smile. "My parents can though. Daddy wants to pay for everything, and your father is going to through you a killer bachelor party."_

_"I asked you to leave them out of this." Jesse answered, not moving an inch. "I gave you a very generous budget and asked you to leave our families out of this."_

_"We couldn't have had any kind of wedding on that budget!" Madeline's eyes flashed with indignation. "I've dreamed about a big, story book wedding ever since I was a little girl, and it is very important to me! I am willing to accept the help of our parents so we can have this wedding, and you will be willing if too if you really love me!"_

_"Up until a month ago our families hated each other! I have tried to keep them as uninvolved in this wedding as I could so it wouldn't be ruined!"_

_"And you never once asked me how I felt about it! Apparently it never once occurred to you that I just might want my parents at my wedding! That I just might want your parent's there!" her voice rose higher. "The problem is that you don't care what I want!"_

_"No, the problem is that you are a spoiled brat! All you ever think about is what you want!"_

_"Just forget it! I don't want to marry you!" Madeline pulled off her engagement ring and threw it down on the floor before she stormed out of the room._

End of flashback.

'I can't tell you what to do, Jess." Shalimar sighed. "You are going to have to make this decision on your own."

"I know. I just keep hoping that someone else can make it for me though."

"So do we still need to plan on showing up for the wedding?"

"One way or another there will be a wedding. I'll either marry Lexa or renew my vows to Madeline."

"I guess I should warn Bren of the drama that is going on over there. I don't think he ever even heard about Madeline."

"That was not one of my better moments so I never told him." Jesse laughed.

"He's probably going to have a heart attack when he finds out that I was married."

"Bren nearly had a heart attack when you and Lexa got engaged. He is going to want to meet Madeline and ask her a million questions."

"And he's more than welcome to. She and Lexa are both going to make me crazy. Madeline is convinced that she and I are going to get back together and right every wrong that has been made against us; and Lexa is convinced that I wouldn't even think about another woman."

"I know that you loved Madeline a great deal, but you go over her, Jess. You can't abandon Lexa and the baby just to get back with a woman who put you through hell. she faked her own death, never told you what she was going to do. I can't understand why you want to get back with her."

"Shal, I loved her a great deal, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to get back with her. I love Lexa, and I'm excited about the prospect of having a baby with her."

"I've got to get some sleep, Jess. Go with your heart on this."

"Night, Shal." Jesse answered as he ended the call. He got up and went to his room to get ready to go to bed. He took a quick shower and changed into a loose pair of black pajama bottoms before he collapsed into bed. He was just about to fall asleep when his bedroom door opened and closed. A thin figure made their way across the room and climbed into bed with him, resting their head on his chest, and wrapping their arms tightly around him.

"I couldn't sleep with out you." Lexa whispered as she closed her eyes. "I know that you probably shouldn't let me stay; but think of the baby. I need to get my sleep if I'm going to give you a healthy baby."

"I don't think that I could sleep with out you either." he wrapped an arm around her and held her close to him. "Just get some sleep."

Lexa smiled softly as she drifted off to sleep.

Outside of Jesse's room Madeline sat on the floor crying.

The next morning.

Lexa woke up slowly and cuddled closer to Jesse. She carefully leaned up and kissed him softly. "Morning, Jess." she whispered. "In forty-eight hours you and I will be married and in Italy."

Jesse woke up to Lexa smiling brightly at him. He slipped one hand behind her head and pulled her to him for a soft kiss. "Please tell me that last night was just a bad dream. You can be pregnant, but at least tell me that you have never heard of Madeline Hart."

"I wish that I could." she settled into his arms with her forehead close against his neck. "Madeline took all of the hot water in the shower. You've got to get her out of here, Jess. She doesn't belong here and I don't want our beautiful wedding to be ruined."

"She's a part of the team, Lexa. I can't ask her to leave. It is her home too, and it wouldn't be right to kick her out." Jesse carefully stroked her back. "If it was the other way around I wouldn't make you and the baby leave."

"You're too nice, Jess. Far too nice." She took a hesitant breath. "I think that we need to talk about the baby. Are you really happy about us having a baby?"

"We've been talking about this for months. I've wanted a family with you for a long time, and I'm glad that we've gotten a start with this baby. You know that no matter what happens I'm going to be there for the baby."

"I don't want to loose you. We've fought so hard to be together, and I don't think I'm strong enough to fight for you again. Not against a woman that you were willing to risk Adam's trust to have." she smiled wanly. "You've made me weak."

"You are as strong as you always have been. I might have to buy that cape now because I think you might just be even stronger than you were before."

Flashback.

_Jesse ended the conversation with Lexa's Dominion contact. When the computer cut back to the video feed he saw that Lexa had passed out. "Lexa!" he called as he grabbed his hand held computer and ran to the 'cage.' "Lexa, can you hear me?" he checked her vitals and hit a few keys to open the gate. "Lexa!" He ran in. "Lexa!" he checked her breathing. "Lexa, wake up. Come on!"_

"_What happened?" Lexa asked as she sat up._

"_I don't know." Jesse confessed. "Uh, the implant must have over loaded you some how. Are you ok?"_

"_No, Jess, I'm not." Having someone inside my head, knowing he can make me do whatever he wants. I feel so powerless right now."_

"_Hey, you are about the least powerless woman I know. If you were anymore powerful I'd have to buy you a cape."_

_Lexa laughed._

End of flashback.

"You have always had far too much faith in me." Lexa kissed him softly and then startled when she heard a scream. "She just had to ruin this morning."

"Stay here, I'm going to check it out." Jesse instructed as he got up and ran in the direction that Madeline's scream had come from. He found the woman with a vase in hand, ready to throw it at Brennan. "He's a friend, Li." Jesse laughed as he too the vase from the woman. "He's a member of Mutant X and he's married to Shal."

Madeline blushed slightly. "Sorry, I thought that you were an intruder."

"The alarms would have gone off if I was an intruder." Brennan laughed. "You really know how to pick them, Jess. She is really something else."

"You should have met her when I did." Jesse leaned against the door frame. "What are you doing here? I thought that Shal was going to keep you at home or with her until the baby gets here."

"Shal's married and pregnant?" Madeline raised an eyebrow. "Now that's hard to believe."

"No harder to believe than the idea that Jesse was married to you at one point." Brennan carefully looked the girl over. "Hard to believe that you managed to pull him away from his computers. You're pretty enough; but there are times that I don't think even a supermodel could turn his attention."

"If you can't beat them, you join them." Madeline gave him a cool smile. "I'm a bit of a computer fanatic myself. I joined him behind the computers, and eventually he joined me in bed."

"Just look at this happy gathering." Lexa said as she walked into the room. "I guess Madeline thought that Brennan was a burglar or something."

"Anyone could make the mistake." Brennan shrugged. "You feeling alright this morning or has the morning sickness even set in yet?"

Lexa shot Jesse a look. "Did you tell them?"

"I told Shal." Jesse reached for Lexa's hand and pulled her to him. "I called her last night so I could talk to her. I was talking to her about everything and I accidentally slipped up and mentioned the baby. I didn't mean to, and I never would have if I had known that you wanted it to be a surprise."

"It's alright." Lexa gave him a soft smile." "You are under a lot of stress right now and I can't expect you to be perfect."

"Why don't we make breakfast and chill out for a while." Brennan suggested. "I'm looking forward to talking to Madeline and Lexa can get a bit of a break from all of the stress while she goes and does her final stuff for the wedding."

"I really don't understand why everyone thinks that Lexa will be the one getting married tomorrow." Madeline turned on her heal as she walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen.

'She really thinks that she'd going to get you back, doesn't she, Jess?" Brennan laughed. "She has yet to meet with the true wrath of Lexa Pierce."

"She's going to be alright, even after Lexa gets through with her. Li could beat any of us up, even if we all tried to take her at once." Jesse smiled slightly and then kissed Lexa. "I am going to figure this whole mess out some how. Just give me a chance to think."

"I'm going to make sure that Madeline hasn't blown up the kitchen yet." Lexa whispered as she left the room.

Jesse took a deep breath and then slowly let it out. "I am really in the middle of trouble this time."

"I just can't get over the idea that there are two women about to get into a cat fight over you." Brennan laughed. "I guess that I now know the real Jesse Kilmartin." he quickly sobered up. "You really don't know what to do with them do you?"

"I love both of them. When I lost Li, I thought that I would never get over it. She had been my life for a longtime. I went completely against my character so I could be with her, and now she and I are over. I thought that she was dead for the last twelve years. I got over losing her and did my best to make a life with Lexa. I'm supposed to marry Lex tomorrow afternoon, and I can not understand why I feel the way I do."

"You're always been very serious when it came to relationships. I don't expect you to change now." Brennan sat down in one of the chairs. "I guess the conviction is over how you are going to have to choose between them. If you actually manage to make the decision you'll have earned a ton of respect from me. I don't think that I could make that call."

"So what would you do? Go off and find another woman altogether?" Jesse looked down at the floor for a moment. "If you had been forced to choose between Shal and Em what would you have done?"


	5. Thoughts and Memories

_"So what would you do? Go off and find another woman altogether?" Jesse looked down at the floor for a moment. "If you had been forced to choose between Shal and Em what would you have done?"_

"I never explored my feelings for Emma. Shal and I both felt a spark between us; and all that I saw indicated that Em liked either you or Adam. I wasn't about to cause that kind of trouble."

"It's a what if question. What would you have done if you had explored your feelings for both of them and if you had been put in a position to choose between them?"

"We both know that I want to say that I would have chosen Shal, but I have to be honest and say that I probably would have run as far away from the problem as I possibly could have at top speed."

"Some how I doubt that. You managed to know which was the clone and which was the real Shal that time at the club."

Flash back.

_Brennan sat in the hot tub looking Shalimar who was sitting near him on a low chair. "Do you have any idea where they may have taken Lexa?"_

_Shalimar got up and kneeled down beside him. "I don't know. I only left her alone for a minute. But this place goes on forever, she could be in any one of these rooms." _

_Brennan nodded, continuing to stare at Shalimar._

"_Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked._

"_Like what?" _

"_Like you don't even know me. Brennan, I'm not the enemy here." she glanced towards the door. "There's one more thing I have to tell you. You're about to die!" she shoved him under the water, revealing that she was the a clone._

_Brennan struggled, trying to come up for air._

'_**Brennan!**' Jesse called over the com link '**Brennan! They're on to us!**'_

_Brennan managed to struggle up for a breath, but was immediately pushed back under by the Shalimar clone._

'_**Sebastian's been popping off clones of the girls.**' Jesse explained. '**Gia, Lexa, they're all synthetics. I have no idea how to pull the plug on them.**"_

_Brennan continued to struggle with the clone of Shalimar. _

'_**Wait, Nano-technology is based on bioelectronics, which means that,'** Jesse broke off._

'_Let him go!" Shalimar called as she walked into the room where her clone was trying to drown Brennan. _

_The clone looked at her for a moment and then got up, allowing Brennan to resurface._

_Shalimar pushed back a lock of her hair. "Shame to mess up that pretty face."_

"_What's a girl to do?" the clone asked and took a kick at Shalimar._

_The two engaged in hand to hand combat, swapping places back and forth so many times that Brennan could no longer keep up with who was who._

_Brennan got out of the hot tub and started to dry off. _

'_**Brennan' **Jesse called over the com._

'_Jesse." Brennan answered_

"**_Finally figured out the off switch. Since these guys are based on Nano- technology the only way to…"_**

"_Just cut to it.' Brennan interrupted._

"**_Electricity. You could be the key, Sparky."_**

"_I'm soaking wet." _

"**_Well, you'd better dry your ass off fast."_**

_Brennan dried off as quickly as possible while the clone and the real Shalimar fought. _

"_Shalimar!" Brennan yelled. He formed a telsa coil, and then stopped, realizing that he was not sure who was who _

"_Brennan, get her, it's me!" Shalimar called._

"_She's lying!" the clone yelled!_

"_Brennan, do it now!"_

_Brennan stared at both of them._

_The Shalimar clone started to attack Shalimar again, but Brennan shot her with electricity, and she melted. _

_Brennan blew out a breath._

"_How did you know it was me?" Shalimar asked._

_Brennan, smiled as he walked towards her: "I figured I had a 50/50 chance."_

_Shalimar stared at him, looking offended. _

_Brennan laughed "Oh come on, I'm not going to get you confused with some cheap imitation? What are you talking about?" _

End of flashback

"Choosing between the real Shal and the fake Shal was just a matter of knowing her. It was just a clone of a woman, and the clone was essentially the same. It is the idea of choosing between two unique women that you are asking me to consider."

"I risked absolutely everything I had back then so Li and I could be together. I was ready to give up my entire life for her and I never had a second thought about doing it."

"She's not what I expected for you. Lexa has always been forward and abrupt, but this one is an extreme. I was really expecting some quiet, well mannered girl; not the little firecracker that I met today."

"Li was the most forward, demanding, and 'wild' woman that I ever met. She made me do all sorts of things that I never would have thought to do. Sometimes I wondered how I managed to survive being in a relationship with her."

"I don't understand how you managed to survive being with Lexa. She's never been an easy person to get along with. I thought that she was going to kill you after a couple of the fights that you two had."

"Some of those fights did get pretty rough." Jesse laughed. "She always wanted to get me to see her point, and she was pretty loud until she finally managed to get me to agree with her."

"There were a few times where you had to make her see your point."

Flashback.

_Lexa was packing her things when Jesse walked in._

"_Running away is not going to make things any better." Jesse stated flatly._

"_No? Well I wouldn't have to put up with people getting involved in my affairs."_

"_Lexa working as a mercenary before didn't make you happy did it? It's not going to get any better now if you go back to it. But I know that there's been times here when you've been one o us, and that has made you happy."_

"_This is not what I want, Jess. I don't belong here, OK?"_

"_So where do you belong." He looked at her for a minute and then turned and walked out._

_LATER THAT DAY_

"_**Do you know where Richards is delivering the report?"** Shalimar asked over the com-link._

"_Uh, the federal building on Fairmount." Jesse answered. "Why?"_

"_**Something's going to happen to Richards and we're going to need all hands on deck." **Brennan explained over the com-link. "**So you guys can make it there in an hour?"**_

"_We're on the move." Jess answered as he shut off the computer and started to leave._

"_I'm not coming with you." Lexa announced. _

_Jesse turned back to her. "What?" he walked back over to her and threw his hands up into the air. "What!"_

"_We're different, Jess." She answered, trying not to cry. "You know when I was a kid the only think I ever thought about was taking care of my brother. Everything I did for Eckhart, Adam, the Dominion; it was all about saving Leo, and I screwed it up."_

_Jesse shook his head._

"_I didn't save anything." Lexa pressed._

"_You did what you could." Jesse answered calmly, trying to reassure her._

"_And I failed. You don't need me. I mean the last person that counted on me ended up dead."_

"_Is that what this is about? Are you worried about us?"_

"_No, I don't know how I feel. I just know that I need to get away and figure this out."_

"_Look when I first came here I was messed up too. The last thing I thought I wanted was to join a bunch of freaks in a cave, but, Lexa, once I was in I found something I could never fid on the outside. For the first time in my life I fit in. you're a part of that now."_

_Lexa nodded, thinking. "You need to go."_

_Jesse stared at her for a moment longer and then left._

_Later_

_Brennan kneeled down by Eddie, checking on the man. _

"_Brennan!" Shalimar called as the human virus jumped over the desk to kill Brennan._

_Before anyone had time to react Lexa came into the rum and shot the human virus with laser lights. She took a couple of deep breaths and then looked at Jesse and Shal 'Sorry I'm late."_

_Jesse smiled slightly and nodded._

End of flashback

"Making her see my point wasn't always that bad. She and I managed to find a few things that we could agree on with out either of us getting upset. I think that sometimes she argued with me just for some fun."

"I can see Lexa doing something like that. I guess that you aren't really going to be making a decision based on what Shal and I think. You are going to have to make the decision based off what you really feel. I'll drive Lexa to where ever she wants to go so you and Li can have sometime to talk."

"I've been trying to have Lexa around while Li and I talk. There are reasons about why Madeline left that I don't know yet, and I'd rather have Lexa here with me when I found out whatever it is that Li is hiding."

"Once you find out the truth about Madeline it might make your decision easier, and you don't have to have the wedding tomorrow. I'm sure that everyone would understand if you chose to wait for a while."

"I can't do that. If I postponed the wedding now I'd never be able to make a decision. By the time I finally managed to decide on anything the baby would have graduated from college with a doctorate. It's better if I go ahead and make my decision."

"Jess, you are getting to be almost as stubborn as I was. The decision about what you want to do here is not going to be easy. Whatever you decide to do is going to affect you for the rest of you life. Even I wouldn't make a decision like this in just a few hours. I'd have to take at least several days to decide."

"That is the difference between you and me. I'm ready to get this over with. I want to be able to put all this insanity behind me as soon as I possibly can."

"If the choice was going to be that easy you would have already made it." Brennan stood up. "I'm going to the kitchen. I left with out eating and it smells like one of those women can cook."

"Madeline." Jesse smiled slightly. "She has always been an exceptionally great cook."

"That's definitely a point to consider in this decision. It is always good to have a woman who can cook for you." Brennan joked as he left the room.

Jesse got up and went to his room. From the top shelf of his closet he pulled out a cardboard box. He gently lifted the lid and pulled out the photo album that was on top. His fingers ran over the gold script that read '_Our Wedding_' before he opened it.

Madeline's brilliant smile looked up at him from the first page. Her long red hair was twisted up in a bun and held with a diamond-studded barrette. The neckline of her dress scooped low and was embellished with soft lace. Her eyes were warm with love and adoration.

Jesse turned the page to two pictures of himself with Madeline. In the first picture they were facing each other with their hands clasped together. The second picture had Madeline standing in front of Jesse and his arms wrapped tight around her waist.

Jesse closed the album, unable to look any further. Every page showed either his and Madeline's love for each other or Adam's disapproval of the marriage. He carefully set the album down and picked up two matching wooden necklaces that each had raised script style writing. One read 'Madeline' and the other 'Blake.'

Flash back

_Twelve and a half years earlier._

_Madeline stood in a store in the mall looking over the name necklaces. She had already found her name, but was unable to find Jesse's._

"_May I help you with something, ma'am?" a sales clerk asked as she walked up to Madeline._

"_I'm trying to find my boyfriend's name on one of these necklaces." Madeline glanced over to where Jesse was looking for the tiara that Madeline wanted. "His name is Jesse."_

"_We sold out of that one yesterday." The girl smiled. "You could check back later when we get a new shipment it. It should only be a week or two."_

_Madeline frowned and looked over the necklaces again. She smiled at one that caught her attention. "It's alright. I can get one with his middle name instead." She picked up the necklace. "Thank you though."_

_Ten minutes later._

_Jesse and Madeline left the store, heading back out to their car._

"_I'm sorry that they didn't have your tiara." Jesse said as he pulled her close to him. "We'll find it."_

"_Don't worry, the trip wasn't a complete bust. I got you a present, Blake." She pulled the necklace out of her shopping bag. "They didn't have your first name, but they did have your middle name."_

_Jesse kissed the top of her head. "You know that I love you, don't you?"_

"_Of course I do, but put on your necklace." She stopped walking and put the necklace over his head. "You look good."_

"_I suppose that you are going to insist on calling me by my middle name now." Jesse sighed._

"_Maybe." Madeline smiled. "Do we have time for sex before you have to go back to Sanctuary?"_

"_I've actually got a bit of a surprise for you too." Jesse smiled. "I told Adam that I was taking you to a play tonight. I though that you might enjoy buying a new dress and then getting the full hair, make-up and nail jobs done."_

"_You are absolutely amazing!" Madeline kissed him and tightly squeezed his hand. "I love you so much!"_

"_And I thought that you might not like the present. I'll take you to the dress shop so you can get whatever you want and then we'll go to the spa. I can read through some newspapers while they get you all dolled up, and then we can go to our favorite restaurant and then on to the play." He stopped at the car and then opened Madeline's door for her. "And what we do after the play is up to you. I'll just be along for the ride for the rest of the night and you'll get to call all of the shots."_

"_Well I hope that you are up for some fun because I just bought a new Redbook that has a whole bunch of new tricks that I want to try out on you. I just hope that you are flexible enough for them."_

"_I'm up for anything that you want to try as long as it doesn't involve either of us getting hurt. I don't want to have to explain anything to Adam."_

"_It would be very difficult to explain something." Madeline laughed and leaned back in her seat. "I don't know how you manage to explain away all these dates and rendezvous that we have."_

"_Adam still thinks that I'm doing this just to keep you from getting bored. He also things that it throws people off by making it look like you are involved in a relationship. Every now and then he has even suggested that I spend the night at your place."_

"_Well that explains why you turn up on my door step sometimes. Of course Adam probably has no clue that we are involved in real relationship and that he is just assisting us." She reached over and took Jesse's hand. "I think that we may be able to work this to our advantage."_

"_You always seem to find away to make things work to our advantage. It think that you could make an alien invasion work to our advantage if you really wanted to."_

"_Well, we all have to be good at something." Madeline laughed. "Now. What is the budget on my dress for tonight?"_

"_No real set limit, just try not to go too crazy. Adam is writing it off as a business expense so you'll have something to wear if he ever needs us to go under cover at any formal dress advents. You've managed to impress him with your work on our little missions that we've gone out on; and I think that he is getting ready to move you up."_

"_I mussed have really impressed him if he wants to allow me to do anything more than recon with you. He's always seemed so uptight about the team. He worries about all sorts of things al the time, and it really makes me crazy! The man needs to loosen up a little and have some fun."_

"_Adam is not very much into fun. He'd rather work in his office or lab than go out clubbing or on a date. There are times when I wonder about his past."_

"_What do you mean?" Madeline raised an eyebrow._

"_Just things about how he was treated when he was a kid. I guess it would be things like what kind of grade we he expected to make? Did he spend so much time with the books that he never learned how to party, or did he get partied out when he was young? I've never spent anytime around Adam when he wasn't working so I've never gotten the opportunity to find out much more about him."_

"_I'm sure that you will eventually get to find out about his past. Things will change and there will be a situation that requires him to tell you the truth. We all have our secrets, Blake; but we never get to keep all of them forever."_

End of flashback

Jesse carefully put the necklaces back into the box and picked up his wedding ring. The gold shimmered in the light, only slightly dulled by time. He slowly rolled it between his fingers and the slipped it on the ring finger of his left hand.

"You have a lot of memories about her, don't you?" Lexa asked from the doorway. She slowly walked over to the bed, sat down, and picked up the photo album. "You were really happy with her back then."

"Lexa, don't do anything stupid just because of those pictures. You can ask Shal about those days and she'll tell you that I was not all that happy. Madeline seemed to have some kind of hold on me. I was never happy back then. I was content and I enjoyed my relationship with Madeline, but never really happy."

"Are you happy with our relationship?" Lexa asked coolly.

"Extremely.' he cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her softly. "This is not a question about how happy I am with either of you. This question is about what direction I'm going to take in live. You have been a wonderful part of my love, and I love you. I don't want you to doubt my love for a second."

"You are never going to be able to understand what I am feeling right now. I love you so much, Jess; but right now I am really beginning to doubt how you feel about me. If you really loved me as much as you claim to do this would be an easy choice for you to make." she closed her eyes trying to hold back her tears.

Jesse wiped away her tears, kissed both of her eyelids, and pulled her into his arms. "I want to be able to say that there is no real question here. I want to be able to say that I know what I want to do, but there is no way for me to do that right now. I love Madeline in a different way than I love you. She and I were just an arrangement when we got involved with each other. You and I have spent a long time together, working to get to a point where we could get married."

Lexa wrapped her arms around him and held him close as she cried. "I don't want to loose you. I don't want to loose the stupid fights we have, our endless chess games, our nights of amazing sex, and all the other things that have made us who we are as a couple."

"I know." He rubbed her back gently. "I know that you don't want to give up on our relationship, and you have to believe that I don't want to give up on our relationship either"

"Please make her leave. Tell her that she ruined it and that you don't want to give up your life for her. Tell her that you are happy with me and that she needs to move on with her life."

"Lexa, don't make this any more difficult than it already is."

She pushed back from him and wiped at her eyes. "You are really going to consider going back to her. I thought that this was just some sort of shock effect. I didn't think that you would actually be considering a break up with me to get back with her again."

"She was my wife. How could I not be thinking about getting back with her?" He stopped when he saw Lexa start to cry again. "I'm not saying that she's on the winning side. To be perfectly honest, you are going to be a stronger pull for be because we have spent so much time together."

"Then why do you even have to consider her? I love you, Jess. I would never let anything come between us. She let something pull her away from you. The only thing that will ever pull me away from you is death, and that is only after a long, hard fight. I can't understand why you'd want to be with someone who doesn't put you as the most important part of their life."

"Lexa, for all we know she was a part of some project that wanted to preserve human life and save the world from imminent destruction. Madeline was deep into the government, that is why Adam chose her. She was so deep into the government that none of us really knew that much about exactly what she did. For all we knew she could have been the president's personal secret informant."

"That is what makes it hard for me to believe that you want to get back with her. You always preached to me about not with holding information. You said that it was important for me to be honest with you."

"You are going to have a hard time believing this, but Madeline is the reason I always wanted you to be honest. I couldn't stand the thought of getting involved with someone who was going to hide the truth from me. I went through that enough while I was with Li."

"You know that I'm going to be honest with you. I've pr oven to you that I will be honest. She's lied to you, she's even lied to you about her death. I don't care why she did it, Jess. All that matters is that she did lie to you."

"Lexa, I don't want to have to make this choice. I don't want to have to face the fact that both you and Madeline have kept secrets from me or that you both have your own faults. I know that there have been things that you've kept from me because they are too painful for you to talk about, and that some of them could be flat out dangerous for me to know. I've never pushed you to tell me those things. You have to understand that some of Li's secrets are important to national security, and yet again she probably knows some things that would put me in danger if I knew them."

"You are so calm and cool about this that it is infuriating. I wish that you could hurry up and make a decision about what you want to do. I don't like having that woman in my home, trying to break up my relationship with you."

"I'm sorry that you don't like it." Madeline said from the doorway where she stood with her arms crossed over her chest. "I really hate to tell you this, but he's technically still mine. If anyone is trying to break someone up, it is you trying to ruin my marriage."

"You must excuse me." Lexa said as she got up. "I need to go buy a few things for my wedding night, and I must also spend sometime at the spa getting a manicure and a pedicure. I want to look perfect in my wedding dress." she walked to the door and locked her eyes onto Madeline's.

Madeline stood defiantly in place, refusing to move a single inch. She held Lexa's stare for a few seconds and then finally stepped aside to let the other woman by. "How on you do you manage to stand her, Blake? She's impossibly bratty."

"I'm pretty sure that she thinks the same thing about you." Jesse took off the wedding band and put it back in the box along with the other things. "Why did you do it? Was I not good enough to you? Was I just a job? What made you fake your own death and disappear the way that you did?"

"I love you to death, Blake. Nothing was going to change that. You knew what I did for a living when you chose to get involved with me. I'm sorry that my job ruined our marriage. You have no idea of how much I wanted to stay with you and have us make a life together."

"You never let anyone push you around or get in the way of what you wanted. Whatever made you leave must have been a matter of national importance or a danger to yourself or the team. I want you to sit down and tell me what it was that made you leave me."

"Jess, you are not going to like some of the things that I am going to have to tell you if I explain why I did what I did. I feel horrible about what i did to you by disappearing for the last twelve years."

"Li, you are going to have to understand that I've changed. What I went through with you and with loosing you changed me a lot. I don't put up with secrets the way I used to. Right now all I want from you is a flat out honest answer."

"Alright." Madeline agreed as she sat down on the bed beside him. "It started on our wedding night while I was getting ready to go to you..."


	6. First Nation

Till Death Do Us Part

By Martana Alexander

Chap 6

_"Alright." Madeline agreed as she sat down on the bed beside him. "It started on our wedding night while I was getting ready to go to you..." _

Flash back

_Twelve years before_

_The Night of Jesse's and Madeline's wedding, at the hotel._

_Madeline stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom carefully brushing her hair. her eyes slowly scanned her reflection, carefully examining the light pink lace that barely covered any of her body. She glanced down at the slim gold band on her left hand and shivered with excitement. She carefully slipped gloss over her lips and turned to go. Just as her hand was on the door knob, her cell phone rang._

_"Hello." Madeline whispered when she answered it._

_'**Miss Hart, or should I say, Mrs. Kilmartin, First Nation needs your help again.'** the man on the other end answered. "**I hope that you are prepared to take on this job.**"_

_"Agent Williams, I am trying to enjoy my wedding night." Madeline hissed. "I couldn't care less about what First Nation needs me to do right now."_

**_"Your sex life is none of our concern, Miss Hart. We both know that the main reason you were assigned there was to find out what Dr. Kane is working on. This fling with Mr. Kilmartin has not only distracted you from your goal, but it has also caused you to be cut off from your objector. Unless you can prove that you are still use full there your job will change."_**

_"Fine, I'll figure out something. Now if you don't mind, my husband is waiting for me to go to him so we can consummate our marriage." she ended the call and turned off the phone before she put it away. she quickly glanced in the mirror, making sure that the little bit of lace that covered her breasts and her skimpy underwear was in place. She opened the door just enough to reach inside the bedroom and turned off the lights._

_"What are you doing, Li?" Jesse asked curiously._

_"You just lay back and let me work this for you." Madeline laughed as she made her way to the bed. "I hope that you are ready for tonight." she slipped into he bed and curled up close to him._

_The Next Morning_

_Madeline frowned as she woke up in bed alone. She glanced over to the small table where Jesse had put his lap top and rolled her eyes when she was that he was working at the computer. "We are spending one day together like this before we have to settle into our little house, and if you spend it alt he computer I will kill you."_

_"Don't worry. Li. I'll be back in bed with you in just a minute. I just wanted to check on something quickly."_

_Madeline gave him a soft smile and sighed. "He's not going to change his mind about this and ask you to go back. Adam made his final decision about our marriage. I was surprised that he even came to the wedding."_

_"I realize that you don't like him, but he has been my mentor for the last year. I wanted him to be happy with this. I even thought that we could make it into a big production of make making our marriage out as the perfect way to keep our best informant near."_

_Madeline slipped out of the bed, walked over to Jesse, and put her hands on his face; drawing his gaze up to meet hers. "I love you, Jesse, and I know that this is going to be a hard adjustment for you. You have to understand that Adam is making a choice to deny us his approval of our marriage. If he doesn't want to be a significant part of our lives that is his choice."_

_"I know, Li. I just don't understand what he is thinking. I thought that I had played all of the cards right. I am the only computer expert that he really has, and I thought that he would realize that I am important to the team."_

_"You are going to get a great job and do so many wonderful things that Adam is going to kick himself for ever letting you go." she softly kissed him. "You told me that my love would be enough for you. If it isn't tell me now and I'll get the marriage annulled and let you go back to Mutant X. I don't ever want to be the reason that you are unhappy or be the reason that you don't follow your dreams."_

_"No." Jesse shook his head. "You are the only thing that I really need, and we will find a way to make Adam repent for making me drop out of Mutant X. If he doesn't think that I'm good enough for him now that I'm married I am not going to worry about it."_

_"Good." Madeline smiled. "Now, let's enjoy our little mini-honeymoon while we can. We have to move into that house tomorrow since Adam has decided to order me to evacuate my apartment now that you and I are both out of the team."_

_"Are you sure that you are OK with us starting out in that small house? I don't want you to be bothered by anything."_

_"I love our house. It is going to be absolutely perfect once we get everything moved in." she stepped backwards and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I wouldn't want to have to set up house keeping in a mansion for my first real stab at it. Our little 'starter cottage' will be absolutely perfect for us."_

_"Just as long as you are happy with it." Jesse turned off the lap top and pushed his chair away from the table. "I guess that we might as well spend the rest of the day together."_

_"Are you kidding me!" Madeline laughed. "We are going to be spending the rest of our lives together. Till death do us part, Mr. Kilmartin."_

_"It is a good thing that we seem to like each other then." Jesse answered as he laid down in the bed and pulled Madeline to him._

_Madeline settled into his arms with her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of his heartbeat for a moment before she spoke. "Are you OK with the fact that I'm going to be back at work with the government?"_

_"I guess. I know that it will take me a while to get used to the idea that I can't ask you too much about your day, but I guess that I'll deal with it."_

_"At least my superiors know about our relationship. We won't have to hide it from them , even if we do have to deal with the interruptions at bad times still."_

_"I will deal with whatever this new life throws at us. You know that I love you enough to give you the world so don't worry about your work. You did say that you were going to try to find me a job working in the Bureau."_

_"I know that I did, and I am going to. I should warn you that we probably wouldn't be working in the same group or department. I am a part of a group in the Bureau that receives some very high profile cases, and no one in my group has spent less than five years in the Bureau. No one except me , and I only got in early because my father leads the group. Even with your extensive training in recon and covert ops, he is not going to consider pulling you into our group. Not until he is absolutely sure that he can trust you.."_

End of Flashback

"It really did all start out with that phone call I got on our wedding night." Madeline gave him a soft smile. "First Nation wanted me to change my assignment, and I wanted to stay with you."

"Who is this 'First Nation'? I've never heard of any group by that name." Jesse stared into her eyes. "And how powerful are they? I know that they must be pretty powerful if they managed to get you to change your mind and go back to them."

"I should warn you that I am about to turn your whole world upside down." Madeline turned extremely serious. "Once you know the truth about First Nation everything that you believe will be changed."

'I can handle it, Li. I've heard and seen things that most people think are impossible. I'm pretty sure that you're little group can't do anything too dangerous to my state of mind."

"Alright, Blake, let's see what you are made of then." she gave him a coy smile. "I want you to think about every little thing that you know about the world's politics. Every world leader, every system of government, every law that you can think of. Now I want you to forget that they even exist, because they don't."

"Alright, the whole collection of systems across the world is a lie." Jesse raised an eyebrow. "How do you fit into all of this?"

"Everything that you see in the world's governments is a lie. England has no king or queen, Canada has no prime minister, and the U.S. of A. has no president. All of these people are just pawns in a much bigger game. They are the fronts that the countries of the world put up to throw people off of what the truth is. We have one government for the entire world, and government is First Nation."

"Do you not realize how crazy you sound right now? If there really is some one world government why are there wars and all of these other problems? The world itself shows a complete contradiction to everything that you are telling me right now."

"I know." Madeline sighed. "It is really a very complex issue, and I will try my best to explain it to you. Not only are the forms of government that you see out in the world just a front, they also think that they are real. First Nation rules the world, and anything that our mock governments don't do right we go in and fix. As for the wars, well the governments were real enough for a long time and First Nation was not always in power. We've existed since the time of Christ, various government officials from each country or empire. We helped to prevent many wars that would have started, but we were never really in power until the end of World War Two. At that point it was realized that if we wanted to be an effective organization, we would have to truly take over power from all governments in the world."

"Alright." Jesse agreed. "I'll go with you on this. I guess that all of those conspiracy theorists have to have a reason for believing what they do."

"Yes, they do." Madeline smiled softly. "So World War Two was when we really got started. Hitler was a major part of the decision to take over. He had slaughtered millions of innocent, and if our agents hadn't stepped in to prevent certain things from happening, he would have succeeded in eradicating the world of Jews and taking over power of the entire world."

"So First Nation just decided to beat him to it."

"We did what we felt was in the best interest of the world." Madeline cleared her throat. "Of course there were several kings that we had to work out. How were we going to be more offensive with out being out in the open? Where would we be based from? Where would our funding come from? The list goes on and on."

"But you obviously managed to find a solution for each of your problems."

"Yes we did." Madeline smiled slightly. "It was a struggle, but we managed to solve all of our problems and get our base set up. We chose to build a base in Arizona in the area that is known as Area 51. Our base is underground where no one can find it. Only those who know the exact location can get in. We went on the offensive, but stay in the background by using coercion and putting some of our agents into governmental offices."

"So Area 51 really does exist." Jesse shook his head. "That is amazing. I think that would be every sci-fi geek's wet dream."

"Don't get any ideas of telling anyone what I'm telling you." Madeline warned. "No one can ever know any of this. Not Brennan, not Shal, and especially not Lexa."

"Come on, Li. I'm not stupid enough to even think about spilling a secret like that."

"Look, I shouldn't even be telling you any of this, but I am. I want you to know exactly why I did all of those horrible things to you." she paused for a second. "Once we decided on a place to have our base, we encountered the problem of getting enough funding to run it. All it really took was flashing around a few 'alien' items to the right people in our separate governments and the money began to pour into us from each of them. None of them had the slightest clue of what we were really doing. We also used different media such as music and television to implant suggestion into people's minds. If we wanted them to think one way we just used the implied suggestion that we sent through television signals. It is a very complex thing to explain, but essentially we used a from of mind control to keep the world in check." she hung her head slightly. "We even used it on you. It was important that you felt that you could trust me, so we sent messages to you. Eventually you began to trust me on your own and the suggestions were no longer needed."

"And what about my feelings for you!" Jesse demanded. "Was that a part of your great ploy too?"

"No, Blake." she reached up and gently stroked his face. "Our love for each other was more genuine than anything else out there in the world. I swear that I had them leave your heart out of it. I came to get information on Adam. We wanted to know what he was working on, and there was no way for us to get what we wanted with out someone going under cover. I has used the FBI as my cover and only had to wait until Adam had need for an informant, at that point our plan went into action. I came here and started in as an informant together information about what Adam was doing."

"So your little organization is powerful enough to rule the world, has all kinds of scientific advancements, and manages to stay hidden in the back ground; but you can't find out what one man is doing?" Jesse laughed slightly. "Why don't you save yourself from disgrace and tell me how it all works?"

"Alright." Madeline agreed. "I'll give you a lesson in the real politics of the world. About ninety-eight percent of the world's nations are recognized. Each of the recognized countries chooses their own representatives to fill the different positions that are open. Because the system was mostly set up in America it greatly resembles the political system that you are familiar with, and most of our titles are similar to those of American government. We have a speaker, a secretary of public affairs, an attorney general, a secretary of defense, and a treasured for each country. These different roles each have a committee that they belong to. I guess it works out where we have all of the secretaries of public affairs in one committee, all of the attorney generals in another committee, and so on and so forth. From each of these committees comes our top leaders. The organization has a speaker, a secretary of public affairs, an attorney general, a secretary of defense, and a treasure. These people are in charge of the whole system, and they are elected out of the committees. For that reason each country chooses two people to go into their committees. If their attorney general is chosen as the attorney general for the whole organization the second person would step up. It works the same through out all of the positions. Above all of this you have what we call our Organization Leader. That is the only position that no member of the group has control over. The Organization Leader is always a member of the family of the establisher of First Nation, and they lead for as long as they wish. The current Organization Leader is my father. The Hart family is responsible for organizing First Nation as it is today. Below all of the committees you have two different groups. The Research Protection Council and the Public Protection Council. I am a member of the Public Protection Council. Our job is to make sure that he general public is kept safe. Each country chooses its own group of agents for the councils, and in all technicality the Research Protection Council falls under the leadership and jurisdiction of my council."

"And what do they do? Protect scientific research?"

"They are best known as the Dominion; and that is why Lexa can never know what I am telling you. I was actually her 'go to' person. All she had to do was phone a number that was given to her to call if something was going wrong. I made sure that things worked out for the best, but she never knew who she was talking to. I guess that it is only fair since I never knew that you and she were involved with each other." Madeline paused for a minute. "That's all that I can tell you right now. It is a dangerous game that I've been playing for the last couple of years, and I don't want to pull you into the middle of it."

"Does Lexa have any idea about all of this?"

"No." Madeline shook her head. "Of all the people in the Dominion there are only three agents that actually know about First Nation. Lexa was important to them, but not that important. I think that if she had stayed with them for a few more years they would have moved her up."

"I bet that First Nation must hate me almost as much as the Dominion does." Jesse shook his head. "I can't believe that I'm actually accepting the idea that a group like First Nation really does exist. It sounds like something out of a book."

"I never lied to you about anything. Well, if I told you that it was the truth I wasn't lying to you. I never once told you that I was only with the team to act as an informant for Mutant X. I know that you are probably looking at this as a lie of omission, but I did what I had to do. If I had known that you and I would fall in love I would have never hidden anything from you. I would have gotten you into First Nation, and I was working on it when they made me fake my death."

"Let's just ignore the fact that I actually believe all of what you are telling me about this First Nation stuff. We are talking about why you chose to leave me, and I realize that First Nation was a part of that, but for now I just want us to concentrate on what made you leave."

"Alright." Madeline smiled gently. "Back to why I had to leave you."

Flashback

_Twelve years before_

_Two day's after Jesse and Madeline's wedding_

_At their house_

_Madeline laid back in the bed with her lap top as she waited for her email account to open up. She read over the list of messages and rolled her eyes at one of the sender's names. After glancing around the room to make sure that she was alone she opened up the message._

'**_Special Agent Madeline Hart: This is the only warning that we will be giving you. You must respond with in forty-eight hours of opening this message, and you know that we will be notified when the message has been opened so do not try anything funny. You have gone off base with you mission and have lost your objective. We feel that you will not be able to find another useful purpose there. It is the wish of First Nation that you return to the base, alone. Your marriage to Mr. Kilmartin will be an unfortunate loss. While we feel that he could one day be of an useful purpose to us, we feel that for now it is too dangerous to bring him into the organization. You may either have the marriage annulled or you may set up a situation in which he will believe that you are dead. Respond immediately. : The Council of Public Protection of First Nation World Government Agency.'_**

_Madeline let her fingers hover over the keyboard for a second, and then hit reply, furiously typing her message._

'**_Council of Public Protection of First Nation World Government Agency.: I regret to inform you that I have decided to withdraw my membership in First Nation, and to give up my claim to the title of Organization Leader. I have come to the decision that I would prefer to live as one of the general public. :Special Agent Madeline Hart-Kilmartin.'_**

_She clicked send quickly, and then hid both emails in a private folder._

"_Li, do you want to go meet Shal for dinner tonight?" Jesse asked as he stepped into the bed room. "You look upset. Is something wrong?"_

"_No, nothing." Madeline smiled. "Dinner with Shal sounds great. I'll really look forward to talking to her and going over the wedding pictures that our guests took and we got developed ourselves."_

"_The ones that got me a two hundred and fifty dollar bill at the one hour photo shop?" Jesse crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow._

"_Those are the ones." Madeline put her lap top on the bedside table, got up, walked over to Jesse, and softly kissed him. "I love you."_

_Jesse remained still for a moment and then broke into a bright smile as he kissed her. "You'd better be happy that I love you too."_

_Madeline giggled, took his hand in hers, and started walking backwards, leading him to the bed. "Why don't I prove how much I love you."_

"_You are one very, very wicked woman, Mrs. Kilmartin." Jesse softly kissed her. "I wish that I had the time for you to show me how much you love me, but I have to go to my job interview."_

"_Alright." Madeline sighed. "I hope that you get the job. You've always been a great hacker and finding the weaknesses in computer systems will be a great job for you."_

"_Not to mention the pay will be more than enough to keep you in your very affluent lifestyle." he rested his forehead against hers. "You are a very spoiled woman. I don't know who in the world your father ever managed to deal with you."_

"_Well you forget something." Madeline giggled. "My father is the one who spoiled me so much. He's used to me getting whatever I want. I guess that now you get to have the fun of dealing with that."_

"_Unfortunately." he gave her a quick kiss and then stepped back. "And unfortunately I have to hurry up and get ready or I will be late for the interview. Call Shal and tell her to pick out where she wants to go tonight and we'll meet there around six."_

"_Alright." Madeline nodded. "Give me a call when you get out of the interview and I'll let you know where we're going. I don't want you to blow __the interview by having your cell phone ring during the middle of it."_

_Jesse changed out of his jeans and t-shirt and put on his best Boss suit with a crisp white dress shirt. "Be good and don't spend too much time at the computer. Don't forget that you actually have to keep house now. We don't have a maid."_

"_Alright, alright." Madeline turned off her lap top. "Now go get yourself the most wonderful job that that company has."_

"_I'll try." Jesse softly kissed her and then left._

_Madeline glanced around the room for a minute, trying to decide where she needed to do the most work, and then picked up her cell phone. She quickly dialed Shalimar and then started to gather up the laundry while she waited for the feral to answer._

"_**Hey, Mrs. Kilmartin." **Shalimar said when she finally answered. "**What are you up to and where is the computer wonder?"**_

"_He's off to a job interview. I was just calling to confirm with you about tonight. Where do yo want to go?"_

"_**That new French Place." **Shalimar answered after a moment of consideration. "**I've been wanting to go there for a while, but planning the wedding kept me far too busy."**_

"_Well I guess that we can go tonight then. Jesse says that we'll meet you there around six."_

"_**Perfect. Hey, I've got a bit of a surprise for you." **she giggled slightly. "**I found a photo album that Jesse accidentally left behind, and it has a ton of baby pictures of him."**_

"_So I finally get to see how he looked back then." Madeline smiled wickedly. "Oh, I've got the pictures from the disposable cameras. We can look through all of those too."_

"**_Are we looking at the pictures while we eat, or are we going to you place for picture time?"_**

"_We can all come to the house after we eat. I'll make sure that there is a bottle of wine in the fridge." Madeline hesitated for a moment. "Is there any chance of Adam coming to eat with us?"_

"**_I can try and talk him into it, but he is still pretty upset. He really does not like the fact that you and Jesse have been lying to him for the last year. He never would have liked the idea of you and Jess being together; but he probably would have greatly preferred to be aware of it. I mean what would have happened if you had gotten pregnant? How would you have explained it to Adam?"_**

"_Good point." Madeline took a deep breath and then blew it out. "So what are we going to do about this? Jesse hates the fact that he has broken Adam's confidence."_

"**_Adam is not ready to forgive him. He thinks that Jesse should have told him that he was starting to develop feelings for you. I think that Adam knew that you and Jesse were interested in each other. If he really had a problem with the fact that you two were getting close he probably would have said something."_**

"_I agree with you. I love being married, Jesse is a good husband, and I cannot imagine my life with out him. Adam needs to learn to deal with the fact that I'm married to Jess. I am not going to allow anything to take away my happiness."_

_Later that night, after dinner and Shalimar has left._

_Madeline waited until she heard the shower turn on so that she knew Jesse would not be disturbing her and turned on her laptop. She quickly pulled up her email account to see if she had gotten a response back yet. Her breath caught in her throat as she found the email. She took a deep breath and opened it._

_**Special Agent Madeline Hart: We regret to inform you that your resignation from First Nation has been denied. It is our belief that you will serve more good with in the organization that you are outside of the organization. Unless you choose to comply and return to our base with in the next week a special operations team will come in with encouragement for you. While we feel that Mr. Kilmartin could one day be of use to us, he is still currently expendable. It is your choice Miss Hart. :The Council of Public Protection of First Nation World Government Agency.**_

_Madeline carefully hid the email with the others that she had received earlier and then turned off her laptop. She got up and walked over to the dresser where she pulled out a soft, white chiffon nightgown. Her clothes were thrown off and she pulled on the slinky nightgown. Digging through the night stand she found a note pad and a pen which she used to write a quick note to Jesse before heading to the living room._

_The fire place was set up with a candle rack that held fifty candles and gave the living room warmth. Madeline brought out the partial bottle of wine from earlier that evening and two glasses before she spread a quilt out in front of the fireplace. She poured the wine and then laid down, basking in the light of the flickering candles._

_Jesse walked into the living room, still dripping wet from his shower and laid down next to Madeline. "I guess that you are still trying to make up for those pictures."_

"_No." Madeline smiled softly as she cuddled close to him. "I am just showing you exactly how much I love you, and I'm still celebrating the fact that you are getting a call back! They must have really liked you, which means that you will probably get the job."_

"_Li, a call back is good, but it does not guarantee that I'm going to get the job. We are talking about a job that most teenagers would love to have, and many of them are good enough at hacking that they could beat me out of it."_

"_But I bet that none of them are as wonderful as you are." she softly kissed him and stared into his eyes. "I don't know where I would be right now if I wasn't with you. I love you more than anything in the world, and I never want anything to come between us."_

_Jesse cupped her face in his hands and softly kissed her. "I am not going to let anything come between us. Come hell or high water we are going to be together forever."_

_Madeline nodded slightly and then kissed him. Her thin body pressed against his and she wrapped her arms around him. Her heart raced as his hands ran over her body and she felt her body begin to heat up._

_With in a few moments they had both lost what little clothing they were wearing and they were making love. Madeline's eyes shown brightly and her body was glistening with sweat. Her breath came in short, rapid pants and it was all that she could do to hold on to her sanity. The intensity of their connection increased until it was too much for her. Her voice sounded his name and she kept her eyes locked on his through the climax. At that moment all she could see in his eyes was love and desire._

_The passion ended as quickly as it had begun. Madeline curled up into Jesse's arms as they laid quietly together. They both remained silent, needing only the physical contact. Madeline's eyes half-closed as she rested in his arms, all of her worries were temporarily vanished._

_Later, around 3 am._

_Madeline laid awake in bed ass he contemplated her choices. She glanced up at Jesse who was sound asleep beside her and smiled. They had laid in the living room on the quilt until she had begun to shiver. At that point Jesse had carried her to the bedroom where they made love again; this time in the warmth of their bed. It had been enough to distract Madeline from her one problem, how to deal with First Nation's order._

_She laid her head on his shoulder and gently nuzzled her face against his neck, taking in a deep breath and tightening her arm around his body. An annulment or fake her death. Either action would be cruel to him. An annulment would never work. He would be too quick to guess that she had another reason for doing it. After what they had been through just to get married she would not be able to fool him into thinking that she did not love him._

_The only choice was to fake her own death. It would have to be a careful move. He would guess what was happening if she 'died' doing something out of character. She hated swimming so drowning was out of the question. A deliberate murder could be a possibility, but Jesse would track down whoever he thought was responsible. He would do the same for an accidental murder too. A car wreck. Jesse was all the time reprimanding hr because she drove recklessly. If it looked like she had died in a car wreck he would not question it._

_She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks and tried to keep her body from shaking. For a second she thought that she had herself calm, but she suddenly felt as if she was going to be violently ill. She got out of bed and ran into the bathroom, hoping to make it before she was sick. She had barely knelt in front of the toilet before she was sick. As she finished she felt her hair being pulled back from her face and Jesse's strong hands resting reassuringly on her shoulders._

"_You alright, Li?" Jesse asked as he reached into the linen closet and pulled out a soft wash cloth and wet it with cold water._

"_I'm fine." she shakily walked over to the bath tub and sat down on the edge. "I think that I must have eaten something yesterday that didn't agree with me because I was sick this morning too." she carefully washed her face with the wash cloth Jesse handed her and check to see if her hair was still clean. "Go get me some clothes and grab some up for yourself. I need a shower to make me feel better even in I am still clean, but I feel a little shaky still so I want you with me."_

"_Alright." Jesse nodded. "Just sit still until I get back to you." he stepped into the bedroom and grabbed some clean clothes for both of them before going back into the bath room and starting to run water for a bath. "I'd rather have you sitting down if your feeling that shaky."_

"_That's fine." Madeline whispered as she pulled off her clothes. "Maybe it's just stress. I've been tired for the last couple of weeks too."_

_Jesse pulled off his own clothes and then helped Madeline carefully climb into the bath tub. "If you don't' start to feel better over the next day or two I want you to go see a doctor. I don't want you to be sick." he slipped into the tub behind her and poured some lavender foam in under the rushing water._

_Madeline laid back in his arms and closed her eyes as the water gently lapped against her skin. "Do you want to have a baby yet?" she asked sleepily._

"_Let me find out if I'm going to get that job and if I do we can start trying to get pregnant if that is what you want." he gently rubbed her arms as they rested in the tub. "I never that that you'd want a baby this soon. I was really thinking that it would be a year or two before we started talking about a baby."_

"_No." Madeline shook her head. "I have waited long enough to get you, and I'm ready for us to settle down and start a family. You are going to make a great father."_

"_I don't know, Li. Having a baby means taking on a lot of responsibility. We wouldn't be able to live such a carefree life anymore, ad we'd also have to decide what to do a bout a doctor. Beyond whatever powers the kid might get from me there will be trouble just because of who I am. No one in Mutant X is well liked out in society."_

"_And finding a doctor will be different from getting a job how?" Madeline asked._

"_Because even if we do manage to escape the problems of my past associations, we only have a slight chance of escaping the genetic problems. Most likely any child that you and I have together would end up a second generation new mutant. Imagine explaining that to a doctor."_

"_We can handle it Jess." she cuddled further into his arms. "I knew exactly what I was getting into when I go involved with you, and I also know what I would be getting if I had a baby with you. We can handle having a baby. I know that I would be a stress on us, but it couldn't be any worse than working with Adam and Mutant X was."_

"_LI, while we were working with Mutant X we could occasionally get a break. If we have a baby there will be no more breaks. You aren't going to be able to spend three hours at the spa, or go shopping for eight hours and we won't be able to just take off and go on weekend trips. Every single thing would have to be carefully planned out well in advance."_

"_giving up our spontaneity will be worth having a baby. I want to have a family of my own. You and I can enjoy a little more fun while we try for a baby, and once I get pregnant we'll just start to settle down. Maybe we can get a cat or a dog."_

"_I'll agree to a baby before I even thing about us getting a pet. I've been raised with out any pets, and I don't have any intention of ever getting involved with pets."_

"_Pets are not such a bad thing. I had tons of them. We could always start with something simple like fish. They would require some care, but not really a whole lot."_

"_Madeline, I'm serious. I don't want to get into the whole nonsense of having animals around. Raising a baby would be hard enough alone, but adding a pet into the mix would be pure insanity."_

"_Jesse, I'm not asking you to do anything extreme like getting a lizard or a snake, or a tiger. I'm just asking you to think about getting a kitten or a puppy. I know that we grew up differently, but this is important to me."_

"_Li, do you have any idea of how much work a pet would be? You might have had a menagerie of animals, but your parents probably did most of the care. Even if you helped with taking care of your pets your parents probably did most of the work. If we get a pet now we wont have a kid old enough to even help a little. We'd have to provide full care for the baby, and full care for any pet that we got."_

"_Alright, then at least promise me that you'll think about it for when we do have a kid old enough to help us with a pet."_

"_I don't know what I'm going to do with you." he kissed the top of her head. "I'll think about it, but you have to remember that I'm not the least bit for this." _

"_You would probably like a cat." Madeline smiled slightly. "It world be a great companion for you while you're at that computer of yours. A cat would climb up into your lap and just sit there and purr while you worked. You would love all of the attention."_

"_Madeline, how in the world did we loose a single trade negotiation while you were on the team? You are far too good at this."_

"_I guess it's because you've done the same thing that the President did a few times when I was helping him to negotiate. You get my basic plan, but you forget to get all of the details to the directions. If you follow the general directions you get close, and have a chance of winning, but if you have all the details and follow them supper carefully you have a ninety-nine point nine percent chance of winning. Those tiny little details are what makes things work."_

'_Then I'd better be prepared for you other little tricks?"_

"_You'd better be." Madeline giggled and turned in his arms so that she was facing him. "I love you, Jess, and I want us to have a long, happy marriage. I'm not going to fight with you other this whole pet thing, but I am going to try my best to get you to see my point."_

"_And I'm going to be expecting you to try your best." he gently cupped her chin in his hand and softly kissed her forehead. 'If you didn't try to convince me to see your point I'd be worried aobut you."_

"_Are you happy about your job? I men, if you get it."_

"_It is a great job, and it is probably my dream. I guess that if I get the job it will be good, but it is going to be a lot more demanding. We may be losing a lot of our freedom and free time if I get the job."_

"_I'll be alright." Madeline smiled softly. "You and I are going to have plenty of time to sped with each other, no matter how demanding your job is. We will make time for each other. As much time as we can."_

"_Don't worry, Li. I'll do whatever I have to do so we can hour our time together. I love you." _

_She laid her head on his chest and close her eyes. "I love you too, Jess. I can't imagine how my life would be if I lose you now. You are my life."_

_Jesse ran his fingers up and down her spine as he held her in silence for a moment. "What's wrong, Madeline?"_

"_Nothing's wrong, Blake." she lid, trying not to tense up. "I just think that it is important for you to know how I feel about you. The water is getting cold. Why don't we finish up here quickly and then go climb back into that nice warm bed of our. We can cuddle and talk until we fall asleep."_

_End of Flashback._


	7. Trouble Brewing

Jesse shook his head as he looked at the woman sitting next to him. "You were crazy enough to think that they could hurt us? Madeline, you know that I would have fought until the end to have you. I would have never let them do anything to come between us."

"You don't understand, Blake. They never would have come straight out and done something to you. First Nation is the most patient group that you would ever meet. They have been known to spend years waiting for the right moment to kill someone. There have even been a few instances where an agent has spent a lifetime going after one person. I was actually hoping to get the lifetime job of watching Adam so we could be together. They would have laid in wait until they could have gotten to you, and I would have lived in constant fear of them finding that perfect moment."

Jesse nodded and then smirked slightly. "How did you get out of it, Li? If they are so bound and determined to get what they want, how did you manage to get out of there after they pulled you back in?"

"I'm the leader now. I make the rules, and that means that I can do whatever I want with whoever want."

"And of course what you want to do is come back here and try to get back with me." Jesse shook his head as he stood up. He walked across the room and then turned back to face Madeline. "Can you tell me why you really thought that this would work out? As much as we loved each other we were both absolutely miserable for the entire time that we were together. I nearly went crazy and I nearly drove you crazy too."

"Nearly drove me crazy!" Madeline stood up and put her hands on her hips. "Oh, hell no, Blake, you did drive me crazy! You and the baby that we lost was enough to drive me into four years of psychiatric care! I couldn't cope with the fact that we had first been spilt up and then that I had lost the only thing that was getting me through our break up! After I lost the baby I tried multiple times to kill myself! I could not figure out how to live with out you, and I didn't want to even try to work on living with out you! But, hell, you had no trouble with it! Look at you, all engaged and about to be a father! I almost want her to lose the baby so you two can understand the pain that I went through!"

"Don't you even think like that, Madeline! If you know Lexa as well as you say that you do you'll know that she couldn't handle that! She's still not fully over losing her brother!"

"I'm sorry." Madeline sighed slightly. "I really didn't mean to say that. I'm just so jealous of her though. She is living the life that I want to be living, the life that I would be willing to fight for to have."

"I'm really trying to stay calm, Li. I really am trying. It is jest getting way too hard to not yell at you. I know that you don't really understand this, but I'm happy with Lexa. She's been good for me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"You already promised to spend the rest of your life with me. You made that promise to me twelve years ago, and I'm not about to lose you. I love you, Blake. That's why I left you back then, and that is why I came back for you."

"I know that you love me, you gave up your life so they wouldn't kill me, but you have to understand that I moved on. I was heartbroken after you supposedly died. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I spent a month sitting around the house, doing absolutely nothing. I didn't want to start a new job, and I didn't want to go back to Mutant X. the only thing that I wanted to do was get you back. I probably would have stayed into hat house of the rest of my life if Adam hadn't convinced me to move on."

Madeline smiled softly, stood up, walked over to Jesse, and softly kissed him. "I really thought that you had just forgotten about me the second that I died." she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. "You were my whole life, and I have thought about you every single day since I left you. I never want to be away from you again, and I'm not going to let anything come between us. Post pone the wedding and you'll see that you want me too."

"I can't do that to her. I've already put Lexa through hell because of you, and I can't do anything else to hurt her like that. I just got over you. I just got to the point where I could step back from my marriage to you and your supposed death. I just managed to find it in myself to move on and consider getting involved with another woman."

"You are going to have to explain to me what it is about here that is so wonderful. I was her handler, and I know what she's like, and the Lexa Pierce I know is no the kind of woman that you could have fallen in love with."

"She's not the Lexa that you knew." Jesse smiled slightly as he stepped back from Madeline and sat down in his computer chair.

Flash back

2 years before.

_Jesse and Lexa crunched through the snow as they walked to the frozen pond. _

_Jesse held her tight and led her over to a bench where they could put on their ice skates. "Lace them up tight so you can't bend your ankles. If you don't you could break an ankle or in the least be extra sore later on."_

_Lexa looked at him apprehensively, her dark hair and bright blue eyes set off by the pure white of her coat and hat. "Are you sure that this is safe?"_

"_You'll be fine." he laughed and softly kissed her. "You know that I wouldn't have brought you out here if you weren't going to be alright. I love you, Lexa."_

"_I love you too, and I trust you; so if I get hurt it is all on you." she tightened the laces on her skated until she felt as if she was about to cut the circulation to her feet and then tied them tightly. "You ready to try this?"_

"_If you are." he stood up and took her hand as he helped her to stand up. "We'll start off slowly; and I'm going to stay with you the whole time. Don't get scared about it. you are going to be fine. I'll have you skating in the Olympics in no time at all."_

"_I don't think that you are quiet that good." Lexa laughed. She slipped slightly and grabbed Jesse in an attempt to keep her balance, but only succeeded in knocking them both down._

_For a moment they both laid in silence, and then simultaneously started laughing._

"_Alright, maybe we wont get to Olympic skating today," Jesse sighed as he pulled Lexa to him for a soft kiss, "but at least we'll get you where you can stay on your feet."_

"_That would be a good idea." Lexa held Jesse's hands tightly as he helped her back up on his feet. "You don't have to do this you know. I've made it this long with out knowing how to ice skate, and I think that I can get by with out learning how to do it now."_

"_This isn't going to be as bad as you are thinking. I promise that you'll be standing on your own feet by the end of the day." he held her hands tightly as he helped her balance. "All right, I'm going to be skating backwards while I hold on to your hands. We're going to take this nice and slow. After you get more comfortable we can try to go just a little bit faster."_

"_I'll be happy to not kill myself."_

"_Push off gently. I don't want you getting ahead of yourself. Do your best to keep your feet under you, and make sure that you tell me if I'm about to run into something. I don't want to hit the ice again, it's too damn cold."_

"_I guess that if you go down I'd go down too, and I agree that the ice is too cold for that." she pushed off gently, gliding slightly closer to Jesse._

_Jesse pushed off with his skates, going backwards. "You are doing well. I just want you to relax a little. You don't have to be so stiff."_

"_I'm just trying to remember all of the things that you told me to remember."_

"_It's not that bad, Lex." Jesse laughed as he felt the woman's hands tighten around his. "You are really doing a pretty good job so far."_

"_If I fall again I am going to have to kill you. It's freezing cold out here and that ice is worse!"_

"_What would you expect it to be like out here? June weather with the ice the temp of bath water?"_

"_This is not the time to be making fun of me." Lexa gritted her teeth. "I don't know how in the world you managed to get me to agree to come out here."_

"_As soon as we get back home I will take you into the spa room and let you get into the hot tub. Then after you get nice and warm we can go get into bed and cuddle for a while. I'll make sure that you get to stay warm and cozy for the rest of the night."_

"_You are going to have to make sure that you really make this up to me. I am going to be in the mood to be very demanding for the rest of the night."_

"_You can be as demanding as you want to be tonight since I did drag you out here today." he slowly released his grip on her hands and then turned so he was skating beside her. "I told you that you would be on your feet pretty quickly."_

"_You have too much faith in me." she carefully reached over and took his hand. "I don't want you to let go of my hand yet."_

"_Don't worry. I'll stay here until you're ready for me to let go." he tightened his hold on her hand. "You are getting good at this though."_

"_If I'm getting good at this I'd hate to see what your definition of bad is." she shot him a look. "I still feel like I'm going to fall on my butt and break something."_

"_You are going to be just fine." Jesse laughed and then suddenly turned serious. "I think the ice is a little thin here. I want you to skate very slowly."_

"_I thought that you said this was safe." Lexa held onto him tightly and her voice quavered in fear._

"_It is going to be alright. I want you to let go of me." Jesse tried to remain as calm as possible. 'I don't want you to get any where near any section that we've skated over. You are going to have to get a little distance between us. I want you close enough that I can get to you, but I don't want our combined weight to stress the ice too much."_

"_I should have known that this was too dangerous." Lexa slowly let go of Jesse's hand._

"_Follow me back to the edge. The quicker that we get off the ice the better." Jesse turned slightly to check on Lexa and then felt himself going down as the ice broke._

"_Jesse!" Lexa yelled as she started to skate over. _

"_Stay back!" Jesse yelled to her as he struggled to stay about the water. "If you get too close you could fall through too!"_

"_Jesse!" Lexa called as she watched him go under the water. Vaguely remembering what he had told her on the drive out she laid flat and scooted over closer to the hole in the ice. She let out a sigh of relief when Jesse re-surfaced, but still felt worried knowing that he could not stay in the icy water for long. "We've got to get you out."_

_Jesse managed to grab the ice and gave her a reassuring smile. "I think I can pull myself out, but the coat is too damn heavy for me to keep on now that it's been soaked through. I'm going to give you the keys and then go under long enough to take off the coat."_

"_Jesse! Don't! Please don't!" she grabbed his hand, the cold biting through her gloves. "Don't go under again!"_

"_It is going to be alright." Jesse promised as he put his keys on the ice. "I'll be right back up. You jut slide back for a minute."_

"_Jesse!" Lexa yelled as he went back under. She slipped back and watched apprehensively, holding on to the hope that he would resurface quickly._

_Time crawled, each second seemed to be ten years. Lexa drew in a deep breath and held it for as long as she could, trying to figure out how long Jesse could last underwater. When the burning in her lungs became too much she finally let the breath out. Tears began to stream down her face as she realized how long Jesse had been under the water. As her eyes began to blur with tears she finally saw Jesse come back above the water._

_Jesse caught the ice and held on to it as he caught his breath. He couched a few times, chocking slightly on the water that he had accidentally swallowed. Looking over at Lexa he will the strength to lift himself out of the ice into his body. He pushed up against the ice, lifting his body out of the water after struggling for a moment he was out of the water and onto the ice. He laid still for a moment to catch his breath and then crawled to where Lexa was. "It's alright." he whispered to her as he shivered. "I'm out of the water."_

"_Oh, Jesse!" Lexa sat up and threw her arms around him. "I thought that you were going to die! Don't you ever do that to me again!"_

"_I'll try not to." he smiled weakly and rested his head on her shoulder._

"_We need to get you to the car and back to Sanctuary." she slipped back from him and unzipped her coat. "You are soaking wet and you are going to need this a lot more than I do." she took off her coat and wrapped it around him and put her hat on his head. "I'm going to help you over to the shore and then I'm going to get the car." her voice quavered as she saw how weak he was. "Stay with me, Jess! You can't die on me like this! I won't let you!"_

_Jesse fought to open his eyes again. "I'm still here, Lex."_

_Lexa nodded and then carefully started to help Jesse to the shore. By the time they were back on the shore Lexa was out of breath and feeling the cold chilling her to the core. She collapsed on the ground with Jesse, trying to find the strength to go on. She started to cry as she realized that she did not have the strength to make it any further. She sat up just enough to kiss Jesse and was startled when his hand slipped behind her neck. "I love you." she whispered as she stared into his eyes._

"_I love you too." he whispered back. "Go get the car. We're going to be alright. You're doing a good job."_

_Lexa nodded and kissed him again. "I'll be back in just a minute." she got up and forced herself to run to the car. She got in and started it, turning the heat to full blast as she drove back to Jesse. Adrenaline kicked in as she parked the car and got out to help Jesse into the car. She quickly got him into the warmth and wrapped him up in the blankets that were in the back seat._

_As Lexa drove at top speed to get back to Sanctuary Jesse slipped one hand out from under the blankets and put it on Lexa's knee. "I don't know what I would have done with out you. You just saved my life."_

"_If it hadn't been for me you wouldn't have even been out there."_

"_I only wanted to give you a chance to learn to do something that I love. I just thought that it would be something we could enjoy together."_

"_Well you and your romantic notions almost got you killed."_

"_I know." Jesse laughed slightly. "I promise to give you a better date later."_

"_I don't need it as long as I've got you."_

End of flash back

"You really manage to amaze me sometimes. So what if she managed to cause you to nearly drown and then did absolutely nothing to save you? Why the hell are you so impressed by that?"

"If I had let her, Lexa would have jumped right into the water in an attempt to save me. I just refused to allow her to do that. She would have inevitably made a mistake that would have cost her her life.?"

"I don't know why you are so sure about her, Jess. She's done nothing but cause you trouble from the start. How many times did she lie to you at the beginning? How many times did she do something that put the team in danger?"

"I'm not going to play that game with you, Li. I spent a year with you, so don't think that I don't know what your tactics are. I know exactly what you are trying to do, and it is not going to work on me. You can pull every single one of you tricks, and it is still not going to matter."

"Alright then, why don't we try playing this a different way?" Madeline smiled softly. "We can just talk and be nice. Catch up with each other a little." she sat down in his lap and slid one hand behind his head as she kissed him.

Jesse resisted at first, but then found himself slipping into the kiss as an overwhelming sense of calmness came over him. He pulled the woman closer to him as he kissed her back.

Madeline pulled back from him, her eyes sparkling, and stood up. She took his hands in hers and pulled him to his feet before she started to carefully walk backwards to the bed. She stopped when she felt the edge of the bed against her legs. She let go of his hands and started to unbutton Jesse's shirt, her fingertips brushing against his skin.

It only took a few minutes for Madeline to finish stripping Jesse of his clothes, and for him to do the same for her. They fell back on the bed together, tangled in the sheets and each other's arms.


	8. Shadows of the Truth

Two and a half hours later.

Madeline opened her eyes slowly as she woke up in Jesse's arms. She put on arm around him and laid her head on his chest, still basking in the after glow of their love making. She glanced up at him, smiling at the way he was still sound asleep. She shifted slightly and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

Jesse woke up at the feel of Madeline's lips against his. He cradled the back of her head as he gently kissed her back, his fingers tangling in her hair.

Madeline broke the kiss and laid back down in Jesse's arms. "I've really missed you." she whispered softly as she took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly.

"I've missed you too." he gently rubbed her back. "I don't think that you've changed a bit since the last time that we were together." he laughed slightly when she hit him. "Maybe you have gotten better though."

She smiled slightly, her mind already starting to drift back towards sleep. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you now. I just got you back, and now I have to worry that some woman who doesn't even really care about you is going to try to steal you back from me. Can't you do something to make me feel a little bit better about it?"

Jesse shook his head slightly, feeling almost as if he was coming out of a trance. "You really are out to cause far too much trouble. How the hell did you manage to get me in bed with you, and don't you dare try using one of your coy little answers." Jesse demanded as he grabbed up his clothes from the floor and started to pull them back on.

"I only went along with what you wanted. All I had to do was kiss you, and then your heart took control of your mind and body. I have to say, I'd forgotten how flexible you are. Of course that little fling you had with that woman could have developed some agility in you." she shifted slightly so the sheets slipped down slightly to revel her breasts. "Just forget about her, and take those clothes back off. I want to give the sex thing another round."

"Madeline! Just stop it!" he got out of the bed and sank down into the computer chair. "I really don't know how in the world you managed to get me to….to engages in sexual intercourse with you. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow! How do you expect me to face Lexa when she gets back today? She trusted me enough to leave me here alone with you today while she went out to get ready for our wedding, and the first thing that I did was get into bed with you. She has had enough trouble learning to trust me with out us having gone and done something like this."

"If she doesn't have the ability to forgive you, then she doesn't deserve to be with you." Madeline slipped out of the bed and sauntered over to him, allowing each step and slight twist to show off her nearly flawless body. "You know that I'm not going to hold anything against you. I understand how hard it must have been on you after you thought that I had died. You probably spent forever hurting, and the first person who made you feel better was all that you wanted. You probably felt that Lexa would be able to keep you feeling that good forever, and that is why you are about to marry her. Blake, you've got to trust me on the fact that she's not going to be able to keep you happy for the rest of your life. For a little while she may be able to keep your mind off your problems, but eventually that interest is going to fade. What we had was real, and if we give it some time we can get back to that kind of relationship."

"I'm not interested in having that kind of relationship with you, Li. I am trying not to yell and throw you out of her. Do you have any idea of what you've put me through during the last twelve years! I don't think that you have heard a single word that I've told you about what you did! I fell in love with you, Li! I gave up my entire world just so we could be together, and then when I thought that you had died I had no where to turn! Adam still didn't want me to come back to the team because he thought that I was too much of a liability! It was years before I could even feel again! Even before you showed up here you had caused me to nearly loose Lexa several times! There were so many times that she nearly walked out on our relationship because she felt that I couldn't be there for her, and that I couldn't love her enough to make a change in our relationship! She tried to get me to propose for years, and I couldn't get over you to do it! If it hadn't been for you, I would have married Lexa a long time ago!"

"It is not all about you!" Madeline hissed as she turned on her heel and gathered up her clothes. "I am not about to deal with you if you are going to be so damn self-concerted. If you want to spend your life with some bitch that is your prerogative, not mine." she glared at him for a second and then stormed out of the room.

Jesse sat in the chair for a few moments longer before getting up. For a moment he considered ripping the sheets off his bed and burning them in a desperate attempt to erase his earlier actions from his mind. He took a deep breath and then pulled the sheets off his bed so he could was them and was away any trace of Madeline's scent.

After he had put the sheets into the washing machine, Jesse went back to his room to put fresh sheets on the bed. He finished making the bed and sat down on it, trying to figure out how he was going to deal with the newest turn in the day. His eyes fell on a picture of himself and Lexa. He reached over and picked up the frame. Looking at the picture he started to remember the day that it had been taken.

Flashback

One year earlier.

_Lexa laughed as she leaned into Jesse's arms. The wind whipped her black hair around and the bright summer sun shown down on them. "It's the middle of summer, but this wind is going make me freeze to death."_

"_Not to mention what it's going to do to your hair." he pressed a soft kiss to her neck and held her tightly. "You might actually be warmer in the water."_

"_Don't you even think about trying to get me in that water!" she twisted slightly so she could kiss him. "I'm glad that you decided to drag me out here today. I probably would have gone crazy if we had stayed inside all day."_

"_Do you really miss Shal and Bren that much?"_

"_I'm just worried about them." she laid her head on his shoulder. "I guess what I mean is that I'm worried that they are going to decide that they've had enough of this life and that they are going to try to start living a normal life."_

"_I can't see them trying to live a life that was not full of excitement. They might wanna take a bit of a break if Shal got pregnant, but they'd come back after Shal and the baby were ready."_

"_Looks like we are going to have to be careful to make sure that we don't get pregnant until they are ready to come back to work."_

"_Even if you and Shal both get pregnant at the same time Bren and I can handle running things with a little bit of help from our contacts. I've been trying to prepare things for this ever since Adam left."_

"_You know that you over plan everything." her eyes slid close as she rested in Jesse's arms. "I think that I actually want us to be married before we start a family. I don't wanna spend my honeymoon attending to a baby. Now once we've married we are going to seriously get to work at starting a family. We're both too old to be waiting around."_

"_I'd like to know who you are calling old. I'm two years older than you and I still feel like I'm nineteen."_

"_I hate to say it, Jess, but you're not nineteen anymore. Neither of us are really that young. Now you maybe able to father a child when you're in your forties or even your fifties, but I don't have that long if I want to be a mother."_

"_Hey, don't fly apart over this. We'll get married and then see about having a couple of babies. We could have at least three by the time we get to our fifth anniversary. Maybe by then we can even be living in a farm house on a sprawling section of fifty acres or so. You can have a garden and we can try to supply some of our own food. Of course we'll have a great computer center in the basement, and a second one hidden somewhere on the land."_

"_Do you really want to move to the country? There won't be any computer hubs or any Starbucks out there."_

"_I can give up Starbucks to raise our kids in clean, fresh hair and plenty of room to run around. You'll never have to worry about them getting into trouble by joining a gang or anything. We can bring in a private tutor and have the kids taught at home."_

"_You've definitely thought this out." she pulled away from him as the wind died down and the sun finally started to warm her skin. "You really need to take a break from all that thinking and relax for a while." she stood up and shook her long hair out before reaching to take Jesse's hand. "I think it's warm enough we can hit the water."_

"_Alright, I'm getting up." Jesse stood up and followed Lexa out into the water._

_They waded out into the waist deep water, trying not to step on any sharp rocks or shell fragments. For a while they played in the water, splashing each other and trying to pick up the prettier shells that rushed by them. After a while Jesse pulled Lexa into his arms so they were in a back to front hug looking out over the water._

_Lexa smiled serenely as she rested in Jesse's arms. She closed her eyes and put her hands over Jesse's. "You really need to spend more time like this."_

"_We both do." Jesse half-whispered as he moved his hands from her waist and intertwined his fingers with hers. "This has been one of the best days that we've had."_

"_I don't know if you are going to be able to get me to come back here. I think that the saltwater and wind have managed to ruin my hair."_

"_Let's get back out of the water." Jesse dropped one of her hands and started to lead her back to their towels._

_Lexa followed him slowly and then leaned back into his arms as they cuddled up together. "How would you feel about us having an outdoor wedding? Not necessarily a beach wedding, but something outdoors."_

"_We could do an outdoor wedding. If we do it during the summer we could even have a beach wedding if you wanted. You could go barefoot so you don't have to ruin your shoes, and you could wear a simple white sundress."_

"_You wouldn't mind not having a fancy wedding?"_

"_The wedding is about you. It's the woman's job to fuss over the wedding and all that goes along with it. All I have to do is follow the directions that you give me and make sure that you don't want to kill me on our wedding night."_

"_Oh, I plan on killing you that night, but not in a way that would put me in jail." she smiled softly. "You are going to enjoy yourself far too much on our wedding night."_

"_I think that the general idea is that we should enjoy our wedding night." he softly kissed her neck on what he knew was a sensitive spot and smiled as she shivered slightly. "And since we already knew what each other likes we'll really be able to enjoy ourselves."_

"_You are positively wicked!" she playfully slapped at his hand and then closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. "I don't want this day to end. It has already been far too nice."_

"_How about if I can preserve the day for you?" Jesse asked as he shifted so he could get into their beach bag. He pulled out a camera and opened the lens cap. "You can at least have a picture to remember the day by."_

"_I'd still prefer it if we could find away to make time freeze, but I guess that this will have to do for now." she took the camera from him and held it out at arm's length. "Smile." she whispered just before she pressed the button. The camera flashed as the picture took and then Lexa turned it around so she could check and see how the picture turned out. "It's prefect."_

"_I'll print a couple of copies when we get back home." he took the camera back from her and tucked it away in the beach bag. "What do you want to do now?"_

"_Maybe it's time that we go back home. We can climb into bed and get a good nights sleep after we get in a good one-on-one work out."_

"_You really have quite the mind for crazy ideas sometimes." he kissed the top of her head and gently rubbed her arms. "Are you really ready to go back home?"_

"_Unless you can think of a better place for us to go so we can hook up."_

"_I think that we could work something out. My parents have a beach house about a quarter of a mile down the beach. They stopped going there a few years ago when some stuff happened in the family, but they keep it up for family friends to stay at."_

"_Are they going to care that we snuck into it?" Lexa smiled as she sat up._

"_Considering they game me a key I don't think they are going to care about us using the beach house, as long as we don't trash it over and leave it in a mess._

"_Then what are we waiting for!" Lexa laughed. "Let's get over there!"_

"_Alright, Alright. Let's get everything packed up quickly and then we'll head over. Hopefully the maids and the groundskeeper's schedule wont have changed." Jesse helped her up and started to pack up their things._

_End of Flashback_

Lexa stepped into Jesse's doorway and smiled slightly at how he was looking at one of her favorite pictures of the two of them together. "Everything go alright while I was gone?" she asked as she made her way over to get bed and sat down next to Jesse, resting her head on his shoulder.

"There was a bit of a disagreement." Jesse began as he wrapped one arm around her. "Li and I still have a few issues that we need to work out."

"He and I hooked up while you were gone." Madeline explained from the door way. "Let me say that the man is even more amazing in bed now than he was twelve years ago."

"You two?" Lexa fully sat up, pulling slightly away from Jesse. "No! He'd never sleep with you while he was engaged to me! He's not that kind of man!" she got up and went over to Madeline. She took the woman by her shoulders and shook her harshly. "He would never do that to me!"

"Lexa, stop." Jesse whispered. "She's telling the truth." he got up and pulled Lexa away from the red head. "I don't know exactly how, but she managed to get me to have sex with her. I didn't mean to do anything like this. I love you Lexa."

"How could you do that!" Lexa demanded as she hit him in a fury of rage. "How can you have sex with another woman! We are supposed to be getting married tomorrow! I'm pregnant with your child! You can't do this to me!"

"Lexa, honey, please. Just calm down and we'll talk aobut it." he caught her by her hands and pulled her to him.

"How could you do this to me?" Lexa demanded as she sobbed in his arms. "How could you go and sleep with that woman? She doesn't even love you the way I do. She's not the one who is about to give you a child."

"No, I'm the woman who did carry his child! I'm the woman who loved him enough to step back from my own life and let him live." Madeline whispered harshly. "I gave up everything to protect him, and I carried his child for nine months even though my pregnancy cost me ever last one of my promotions during those nine months. I loved him so much that I had to go to a shrink for a long time after I had to leave him and I nearly killed myself when my baby was still born."

Lexa pulled harshly away from Jesse and flew over to the other woman, her eyes dangerously electric. "You had no right to go anywhere near him while I was gone today! I'm beyond caring that he was married to him twelve years ago! I have been with him for the last six years! You've spent twelve years out there somewhere letting him think that you were dead!"

"And you think that you're some kind of angel!" Madeline raised an eyebrow. "You were the one who sent his friends into that circus with out checking it out! You were the one who was going to let them face that human virus alone! You were responsible for every single time something went wrong because you chose not to tell them everything that you knew! Oh, and let's not forget about that guy you were so willing to get in bed with to get those paintings! You got yourself pretty damn used then!"

Lexa froze for a minute as the memories of everything Madeline had brought up ran through her mind. She shook her head slightly as she tried to clear all the memories from her mind. "There is no way that you could know about any of that! No way unless you're a Psionic or Jesse told you, and I know that he's not about to tell you a single thing!"

"She's not a Psionic." Jesse sighed. "She's just well connected. Trust me, I was with her for a year. I know all that there is to know about her, and she has absolutely no new mutant powers."

"You are making a mistake by crossing me, Lexa. The only smart thing to do is step back and forget about what has happened in the past between you two and let me take over. I promise that I wont hurt him, and that you can bring the baby to see him all the time." Madeline's voice was sweeter than honey. "I promise that it will all be for the best if you break your engagement and let Blake and I renew our vows tomorrow."

Lexa struggled for a minute, trying to figure out what was going on in her mind. She could feel two sides of her mind battling it out. The first side kept saying that she should listen to Madeline and break up with Jesse, but the second half of her mind told her that something was going wrong. Finally one side of her mind won out. "I don't know what game you are playing, but there is no way in hell that I can even begin to think about letting you make up this relationship. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to marry him, and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure that you don't go in and mess it up. I don't want you to even think that I'm not upset that he had sex with you, but I'm pretty damn sure that you did something to make sure that he got in bed with you. The second I figure out what you did to him I'll be at your doorstep, ready to do whatever I have to."

Madeline's eyes sparkled brilliantly as she looked directly into Lexa's eyes. "Bring it on then. I only ask that you want till after you deliver so the baby doesn't get hurt."

"As if you care." Lexa hissed as she took half a step closer to Madeline. "I bet you'd love for me to get hurt and loose the baby. You probably want me to loose the baby and him to get so upset about it that he doesn't want me to marry him anymore. You are just hoping that he'll give up on me and come running back to you."

"Why don't you just accept that I've got the right to have him and you don't. He and I were actually married, and all you are is a distraction for him." she smiled sweetly at Jesse. "I bet that if he was still single he'd have taken me back the second I walked back into his life."

"Why don't both of you just chill out for a while." Jesse broke in and pulled Lexa away from Madeline. "If you two don't find away to settle your differences I will make both of you stay in a locked room, just the two of you together, until you can find some way to figure some sort of compromise out."

"Why don't you then?" Madeline gave Jesse an even broader smile. "Put us in that locked room and wait to see what happens. I bet that neither one of s will concede our rights. I love you too much to just hand you over to some tramp, and I get the feeling that she is too selfish to let you go no matter how clear it is to all three of us that you belong to me."

"Madeline, I know that you aren't used to hearing someone tell you no or that your wrong, but in this case you are just going to have to hear it. I'm not your property." he let go of Lexa and walked over to the door. "I'm giving the two of you an hour to get your thoughts together. I don't care if you want to do it in here together or somewhere alone, but for the next hour I'm not going to speak to either of you."

Madeline smiled coolly at Lexa's shock when Jesse walked out the door. It would be far too easy to get what she wanted now that he was going to ignore them for the hour. "How many times have I tried to tell you that he doesn't really care about you? He just couldn't wait to get away from you, and of course we know that he's going to hid from you. He's just waiting for me to get back to him. He rather enjoyed our little round of sex, and as soon as you are gone he'll be back begging me for more."

"He's right about you. You just can't hear it when someone tells you no. I'm starting to wonder what made him marry you in the first place. You are just so full of yourself." Lexa hissed and stepped closer to the woman. "What did you do to him? I don't know why he doesn't question you, but I'm not that trusting. I don't care if every single one of our mission files were placed in your lap, there is no way that you could have known about those things."

"I'm connected, Lexa, I spent a year in Sanctuary, and there are things that are beyond your comprehension. I don't care the least bit about the things that have been going on around here. You hardly know a drop of what is going on around you. I could tell you things that would shock even you."

"Alright, so why don't I just call you Carla Kolchak?" Lexa smiled slightly. "He's wrong about you when it comes to one point. I don't care what lie you told him or were planning to tell me, he never would have slept with you unless you had done something to his mind."

"I wouldn't go making accusations, Miss Pierce." Madeline reached out and gently stroked Lexa's face with the back of her hand. "You are just far too pretty for death."

"And you don't want to make those kinds of threats." Lexa's eyes glittered dangerously. "You're a psionic. You've been playing him and his emotions since you came back. That is how you know the details of those missions, and how you got him to get in bed with you."

"You wicked little thing." Madeline firmly cupped Lexa's chin in her palm. "If you weren't pregnant I'd kill you now. You are in so much trouble now, and it is time that you face it."

"I've lived in trouble for years." Lexa smirked. "Now why don't we settle this in a nice civilized manner. You go to your room, pack up you things, and leave. If you take your time you might even get a chance to tell Jess goodbye before you leave."

"Oh no, sweetheart. I'm not the one that is going to be leaving him." Madeline put her freehand behind Lexa's head and leaned in so that her lips hovered just above Lexa's. "You, my dear, are the one who's going to leave him. I mean, why would he harbor a woman who tried to kill someone? Jesse may love you, but the second you try to kill me that will all be over."

"Why would I try to kill you? You are going to be out of here in just a little while. We both know that he's never going to stay with you, not after the things you've done to him and the things you've done since you came here. Even if he gets rid of you just so he's not tempted to sleep with you again, you will be gone in just a little while."

"Oh, honey, if you only knew what was in store for the two of you." Madeline whispered and then slowly exhaled. "You are going to do many evil things that he won't forgive you for. How do you think he'd feel if he knew that you were going to go have that little problem of yours taken care of? There is no need for you to have his child now, because after you try to kill me you'll be going off to jail, and once you're there, there is such a small chance that your child will live."

Lexa blinked her eyes slowly, her mind starting to fog over. There were so many voices in her head. Some of the voices told her that she needed t stop because she was under Madeline's control, others told her that Madeline was an evil that needed to be taken care of and others added that she did not really want the child that she was carrying.

"Oh, so very good." Madeline smiled. "I know that you want to kill me. Everything that you are thinking is in there, Sweetheart, you've just had most of those feelings hidden. You want to get rid of me, and nothing would make you happier than knowing that I'm out of the way permanently." she gently ran the back of her hand down the side of Lexa's face in an almost loving gesture. "Then there is that baby. You don't want to marry Jesse and start a family, you still want your freedom, not to mention that strong part of you that does want to have the white picket fence dream is scared that the baby will be sick and die."

"You are the most vile, evil woman that I have ever met." Lexa hissed through clenched teeth. "I don't know what you did to get him the first go around, but I'm not about to let you have him again." She pulled away from Madeline and picked up a pocket knife that had been accidentally left on Jesse's dresser. Her fingers quickly opened the blade and she wielded the knife in her hand. "You are not going to touch him ever again."

"Whatever you say, sweetheart." Madeline slowly backed to the door, carefully avoiding Lexa and the knife. "You just make sure that I'm out of his life forever." her voice was barely above a whisper. "H should never have to deal with me again."

Lexa slashed at Madeline with the knife, slightly cutting the woman's bare arm. She surprised herself slightly by smiling as she watched the blood trickling down, she raised the knife and got ready to bring it down again.

Madeline closed her eyes and steeled herself as she let Lexa make contact again. She waited until she saw Lexa raise the knife again and then let out a blood curdling scream.

Jesse was in the computer lab working when he heard Madeline's scream. Although he had promised himself that he would stay out of what the girls were doing, the pure terror he heard in Madeline's voice required him to go to the two women. For the time it took him to get back to the women he was scared to find out what had happened. The second he stepped into the room his worst fears were confirmed.

Lexa had Madeline back against a wall and was holding a pocket knife over the woman, ready to bring it down and plunge it into Madeline's body. In a quick moment he was behind Lexa with his hand tightly over hers. "What do you think you are doing?" he demanded as he took the knife from Lexa. "I told you two to work it out. I meant for you to talk things out, not for you to try to kill her."

Lexa snatched away from Jesse and glared at him. "I was just trying to do what I thought was best." she turned on her heel and walked down the hall to her room where she slammed the door shut behind her.

"Oh, Blake." Madeline sobbed as she fell against him. "She just turned on me after you left the room, and I didn't know what to do."

Jesse held her tight and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "How badly did she hurt you?" he asked as he stepped back to look her over.

"It's not so bad. A couple of slashes on my arms, but that is all. I just need you right now." she wiped at her tears and stared up at him. "I was so scared, Blake. I didn't know what to do and she looked so ready to kill me. I probably could have fought her, but I didn't want to chance hurting the baby. I know that the baby means so much to you."

"Come here, Li." he held out his arms to her and pulled her to him. "You are just something else sometimes. Let's take you to the lab and see about treating those cuts. Then I'll get you somewhere safe while I go find Lexa and see what is wrong with her."

"No, no, please don't!" Madeline begged and desperately held on to him. "I don't want you to go near her. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'll be all right." he gently let go of her and led her to the medical lab. "Just sit down on the chair and I'll see what I can do." he stepped over to the cabinet and pulled out a tray, which he set beside Madeline. Another couple of steps to his left and he quickly washed his hands before going back over to the woman. "I'll clean this up and see how deep the cuts are."

"What are you going to do about her?" Madeline asked as she let him carefully clean the first cut.

"I don't know." he sighed slightly. "Talk to her first, try to figure out exactly why she snapped like that. She normally doesn't act like that." he glanced up at her to make sure that the antiseptic wasn't hurting her too much.

Madeline smiled slightly when he looked up at her. "Thank you for coming to save me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt the baby, but I also didn't want to be hurt."

"It's alright, Li." Jesse whispered and softly kissed her forehead. "You are going to need stitches. You alright with that?"

"I trust you. You've always had such steady hands, and I know that you won't hurt me."

"Right." Jesse smiled softly as he went to get the things he would need to put in the stitches, even with all of the things going on, he was starting to truly remember his feelings for Madeline. The tenderness he had held for her was returning, as was his driving need to protect her. He had loved her more than anything once. He had given up a life that he loved to be with her. For a short time he had even dealt with his family so he and Madeline could have a beautiful wedding. She had done things to him that he couldn't believe, and he had been devastated to loose her. That was all over now. She was sitting in front of him still completely trust in his skills. She had always trusted him, even when he didn't feel like he could trust himself. Madeline whimpered slightly pulling him out of his reverie. "You alright, Li?" he asked as he tied the last stitch.

"I've never been a good patient." she smiled. "Thank you. That was the best bit of sewing that's been done to me over the last couple of years."

"I'd guess that means you've got some bad scares" he dug through another cabinet. "You want to get rid of some of them?"

"You would actually try to take away my battle scars?" Madeline asking laughing. "I hope that thing is as good as you think it is because most of these are pretty bad. I've had more bullets graze then the entire NYPD." she took off her shirt and reached for her bra clasp. "You might wanna lock the door so Lexa can't get in here."

"Right." he quickly hit the lock keys on the lab door. "Let's see if we can't work a little magic now." he carefully plugged the device into the scanner array and turned the scanner on. "You know in all of the confusion that we've had in the last day or two I've never gotten to find out what you know about Adam."

"He's alive and well." Madeline answered, closing her eyes as the scanner's light approached her face. "I've got some files for you in my suitcase if you still want them."

"How easy is it going to be for us to get him and bring him back here?"

"Blake, I'm not sure that he wants to come back. He's being held by some of my people now, and he's got the freedom to leave whenever he wants. I think that he's enjoying his job there. He's got more information and resources than he' ever have here."

"So he's off playing made scientist and leaving us here on our own." he sighed slightly. "Does he know that you are alive?"

"Yes, and he thinks that I should leave you alone. For some reason he approves of your relationship with Lexa, but still doesn't want you to be with me."

"He probably still holds what happened in the past against you. The last thing he wants right now is to have to come back here and run things because I've left. It will be another six months at least before Shal and Bren are ready to get back to work, and there would be no way for Lexa to run the whole thing by herself."

"I'll never make you leave again." Madeline smiled slightly. "If we got back together I'd let you stay here. It might take a little time for Lexa to come around to me, but I'd deal with it. I don't want to make you give up your whole life again. I know how much this job means to you and how much you love what you're doing here."

"You didn't make me leave the last time. That was Adam." he switched off the scanner. "That took care of some of those scars, and I'll give you another session later."

"Why are you playing nice all of a sudden?" Madeline asked as she pulled her clothes back on. "It's like you were waiting till something happened to me before you decided to be nice."

"Li, don't play that game." he gently cupped her face in his hand. "You don't have a way to understand what is going on right now. I love you, I've never stopped loving you, but you've been gone for so long that I had to let you go. I had to move on and finding Lexa was a good thing for me."

"You love both of us, and you can't decide which one of us you want to be with." she leaned forward and laid her head on his chest. "I just want to be with you for a little while. I want you to spend some time with me, and I don't want you to spend all that time on the offensive. Just relax and actually enjoy a little time with me. 'The grave's a fine and private place.'"

"'But none, I think, do there embrace.'" Jesse finished the quote. "Andrew Marvell. You read that the second time that Adam and Shal left us alone at Sanctuary while they were out."

"'To His Coy Mistress.' Written in 1681. Of course you were the one who wasn't cooperating at that point. You felt guilty about the last time we'd been left alone, and were determined to get all of your work done in that one day."

"And you knew me well enough to know that poetry would get you everywhere." he gently stroked the back of her head as he held her.

"Well you were so old school that I figured you had to love poetry." she pulled away from him and smiled. "We had such an easy marriage. I know that planning the wedding caused us a fair amount of stress, but once we got past that it was all easy."

"We were only married for a week. How hard could it have been on us?" he smiled and then gently kissed her. "We did have an easy relationship."

"I can feel myself slipping back. It wasn't all that long ago that we were together. At least not in the scheme of things." she slipped off the medical bed and took his hand. "We could start over, at least go back far enough for us to get married again. We could try to have another baby, one that we can raise together and no one will hurt. It wouldn't take all that long for us to start back over."

"Li, you don't know how tempting it would be. We could easily spend our lives together, but no one could ever know about you. You would have to spend your life hidden away from the world. There would be no chance for you to go out into the real world. No chance for you to even begin living normally." he kissed the top of her head. "I know you too well to believe that you could stand to live that kind of life. You love your freedom too much to be able to live that way. You'd go crazy within a week, a month tops."

"I could handle it, that is if I really had to hide out in here. You are the only thing that I need. I could stay here most of the time and only go out into the real world when you needed my help with a mission or something. I know that I could handle hiding in here, but I know that you are convinced that I'd go crazy." she smiled slightly. "All my people have to do is put back my records, or I can use my fake id."

"You know that I want to say yes but you also know that there is a lot going on. You and Lexa are both going to have to give me sometime to figure this out."

"Alright." Madeline nodded. "We'll give you time to think. I'll go take a luxuriously long bubble bath while you go talk to Lexa, and then I'll leave you alone for as long as you need us to. I promise that I won't pest you to death aobut making a decision. I love you too much to do that, and because I love you I promise to respect whatever choice you make."

"I really do understand how hard this is on you, Li. And I promise that I'm going to try to com up with an answer soon. Waiting has always been the hardest part for you, and I'm going to try to make sure that you don't have to do too much more of it." he lightly kissed her and then left the lab. He walked quietly down the hall as he made his way to Lexa's room. After the scene he had seen earlier, he was nervous about what he would find once he set foot in Lexa's room. He didn't know what had happened, but there was one thing that he knew for sure, something had made Lexa snap. He had to find out what was going on. Lexa may have been a mercenary, but she had stopped killing that way. In the last several years the only people that she had killed were those who were truly evil. It was completely unlike Lexa to try to kill someone over a lover's dispute. There was no way that she would have killed Madeline. It did not matter how irritated she was with the woman or the situation, it was just flat out not Lexa's style to kill someone in that way. She might have roughed up Madeline a little if she had not been pregnant, but she would have never picked up the knife to kill her. It was the most non-Lexa action he had seen in a long time, probably in years. He stood outside her door for a minute, not sure that he wanted to know what was going on in the woman's room. Finally he made herself open the door and step into the room. It took him a second to find the light switch so the pitch black room was illuminated. Lexa was in the floor, her dark hair falling down over her eyes and face. Jesse walked over to her and sat down in the floor next to her. He gently pushed her hair back behind her ears and gently lifted her chin so she was looking up at him. "I want you to calm down and stop crying." he whispered as he wiped away her tears. "You need to get yourself together so you can explain to me exactly what is going on. I know you better to think that you would do that. You are not the kind of person who goes off and tries to kill a person over a lover's dispute. Even in the old days when it was your job to kill you never killed anyone who didn't pose a real threat to all of society."

"Jess, I promise that I was not trying to kill her." Lexa whispered. "She is not what she seems, and she did something. She wanted me to try to kill her, wanted you to see me when I tried to kill her. I could feel her in my mind, and I could feel her telling me what to do. All she wanted was for me to do something that you couldn't forgive me for doing. I could see myself standing over her with the knife, but I couldn't stop myself from trying to kill her, it was all I could do to not plunge that knife down into her heart. I know that most of it came from whatever it was that she did to me, but all of the thoughts and feelings I had were in me somewhere. I hate myself for starting to think that way. I love you, and I love our life together. I don't want to risk messing up what we have."

"Alright." Jesse sighed. "Let me see if I have this figured out. You are saying that Li did something, found a way to get in your head. Once she was in there she brought some of you hidden feelings up to the surface so that you would try to kill her so I would see you doing something that I would not be able to forgive you for doing. You knew what she had done to you, and could see what was going on, but had no way to stop it before you did a bit of damage and I caught you in the act of trying to kill her. Lexa, that is probably the most common story for out kind. Even out in the normal world everyone tries to use the old mind control excuse, and when one of us who knows the truth uses it, the excuse is a little too cliché and cheap of an excuse."

"I'm not playing with you, Jess. There really is something up with your beloved Li, something that you don't see. You have to believe me and try to see what is going on there. She is not what she seems to be. I don't know what is going on exactly, but I do know that I'm right about her. She's a psionic and she's been lying to you for years."


	9. A History of Love

Till Death Do Us Part.

Chapter 9.

"_I'm not playing with you, Jess. There really is something up with your beloved Li, something that you don't see. You have to believe me and try to see what is going on there. She is not what she seems to be. I don't know what is going on exactly, but I do know that I'm right about her. She's a psionic and she's been lying to you for years."_

"Madeline has kept her secrets, we've all kept our secrets, but she has never lied to me the way you are suggesting!"

"She has got you right where she wants you." Lexa grabbed his hand. "Jess, please don't let her confuse you any further. I know that you love her, but I also know that you love me. Even if you don't care about me, I have to beg you to think about the baby, our baby. Madeline has tried to make sure that we're driven apart. It has been her goal all along."

"I know that you don't like her or the fact that I was involved with her, but Madeline is not that kind of a person. She's a good person, Lexa. You are the one who has kept so much of your past hidden. You need to take a step back and realize for once that I did have a life before you."

"Don't you dare go down that road! I've told you about my past, you know everything that has happened to me over the years. You are the one who has kept so much of the past hidden! What happened to our trusting relationship? Do I really mean that little to you?"

"If I had told you the truth about Madeline we would probably have broken up. You were already so nervous about us getting involved, and the last thing I wanted was to give you a reason to run. Now I want you to stop dancing around this and tell me why I found you standing over Li with a knife."

"Does it really matter what I tell you? All you are going to listen to is me saying that I did try to kill her, but that would be a lie. You aren't going to care what I tell you if it goes against what you want to hear."

"Just forget it, Lexa." he got up and walked over to the door. "You can come find me when you are ready to talk and you have a legitimate explanation." he walked out of the room, leaving Lexa in a rage."

Lexa got up, wiped away all of the tears she had cried, and then set out to take care of a little problem. She quietly stole down the hall past the computer lab where Jesse was working, and into the lab where she looked through the cabinets until she managed to find what she needed.

Madeline was in the bathtub, covered with piles of rose scented bubbles, half-asleep. She had felt Jesse's anger earlier and knew that Lexa was soon to be kicked out of her 'home.' It wouldn't take much longer for Jesse to get rid of Lexa, and then she would have exactly what she wanted. The door flew open, interrupting her peace. Madeline slowly opened her eyes and frowned to see Lexa standing in front of her.

"If you are here to try to kill me again I wish you luck. I've been thinking about it, and I'm pretty sure that we can have a nice little fight with out hurting the baby." Madeline closed her eyes again. "Of course I'm starting to think that Jess doesn't care about it as much as I thought he did. I guess he's starting to realize that he doesn't want to have a child with you."

"You have really got a lot of nerve. I don't know why you are doing this, but I'm willing to get that it has nothing to do with you loving Jesse. There is something going on here that I don't know about. Jesse may have a clue that would help me figure this out, but you've made sure that he isn't talking to me. You play a good game, a very good game, but there is no way that I am going to let you win here. I've spent enough time fighting for him and love him love too much for me to loose him to you. You may think that you know all about winning men, but somehow I think that you don't know a thing about love. It just doesn't seem to be a single part of you and your personality composition."

"Would you just get out of here and let me finish my bath? I'm going to go a head and flat out tell you that he and I are getting back together. He still loves me very much and we are going to sit down and work through our problems. There is nothing that you can do to prevent it." Madeline picked up a razor and started to shave one long, shapely leg. "He's been in love with me since the day that we met, and he has not stopped loving me since that day. I do have to admit that if I had not come back here he probably would have been content to spend a lifetime with you and any children that you two had together. Of course, that is not a problem here because you two are just about to be separated now that I'm back. You've done your job, completed your mission. Now all I need you to do is step back and let me get back to my mission."

"That is all he is to you, isn't it? Jess has never meant a single thing to you, he's just been part of some mission that you've been on for a long time, and now you are ready for another step towards it." Lexa sat down on the counter. "You may want me to leave you alone, but I think that I do have a right to know the truth, and I mean the whole truth. If you are going to come in and disrupt everything I've been working towards for the last several years you are going to explain to me why."

Madeline stared at the other woman as she thought about it. "Alright, I'm going to make you a deal. I want you to tell me about your relationship with him for the past five years, and then you will get a chance to hear about me and who I am. This is a onetime chance. If you don't accept it now there won't be another offer. Take it or leave it right now."

"You've got a deal." Lexa agreed. "I just think that it is fair to warn you that I'm not going to put up with you trying anything stupid. If you don't hold up your end of the bargain there will be hell to pay, and I can assure you that you will pay for whatever happens." she closed her eyes for a second as she thought back. "It was right after we blew up the Dominion's base. The four of us were on the run, and the only place that we could think of was an 'unsafe-safe house' as the boys called them. Back then I had no idea of why they called them that, but that was a private joke I soon learned."

_Flash back_

_Five years before, about two days after the end of 'The Assault.'_

_Jesse punched in the security code to silence the alarm of the safe house and then turned on the lights. "It looks like we should be safe here for now. I doubt there's anything around here to eat, and if there is it is probably not edible." he sat down at a computer console and turned on the computer. "Let's just hope that I can hack into Adam's off-shore accounts before everything is frozen or we won't have anything to survive on."_

_Shalimar and Lexa had already started to dig through the kitchen cabinets and the pantry, hoping to find at least some edible food to eat. The cabinets where practically empty, but a couple of boxes of saltines were un-opened, and there was a small stash of canned goods in the pantry. After a moment's hesitation they opened the fridge and managed to find only bottles of water and a few cans of soda. They headed back to the main room to see what Brennan and Jesse had accomplished. _

"_I've got good news and bad news." Brennan announced. "I've checked all of the rooms and everything seems to be in working order, but we've only got two bed rooms, and each of them only has one bed. It isn't a problem for me and Shal, but I don't know how you two feel about sharing a bed, in this or any circumstance."_

"_I'll sleep on the couch." Jesse volunteered with out looking up from the computer. "We've only got about ten thousand to live on now. It was all that I could save from Adam's off-shores. Our personal accounts have already been frozen, and I doubt that we can do anything. On the plus side, I did manage to save us from complete poverty, and with some help we'll be able to get started on earning some money soon. It won't be much, but I can get us enough money to get an apartment."_

"_We've got about enough food for a day or two, but that is about it." Shalimar said as she sat down in a chair. "I don't know how we're going to survive, not with out a lot of help. We've got government issued warrants on us, Brennan has a long list of crimes he's still wanted for, and none of us have a credit rating to secure an apartment."_

"_That would be where you're wrong." Jesse smiled as he finally turned away from the computer. "After Adam left us I made up fake id's for all of us. I couldn't quite get in to clear Brennan's record though, so if he gets caught by someone who knows him there is nothing that I can do."_

"_Fake id's are great, Jess, but they won't be any use if they were back in Sanctuary." Lexa said as she sat down in a chair next to him and slid it over slightly closer to his. "If we don't have them we can't use them, so you may have let all of your efforts go to waste for that one."_

"_They were in Sanctuary until I had to go see Alisha for that mission. A couple of weeks afterwards I asked her to hold onto copies of them." Jesse explained as he silently reached over and took Lexa's hand. "We've only lost one set of them in the explosion, and there are still a couple of sets other than the one's Alisha has."_

"_Is there anything else that you've done that we need to know about?" Shalimar asked, raising an eyebrow._

"_I'm not even sure what's happened between the two of you." Jesse answered evenly. "It might help me to know if I need to kill Brennan."_

"_We're together." Shalimar smiled. "And I already thoroughly warned him about what you would do to him if he was to ever do anything to break my heart, so I don't think that you have even one, single, tiny thing to worry about. Now what about you two?"_

"_We're talking." Lexa shrugged. "This last year has changed us all, and for now we just have to see where things go. Either way he's got a lot of work to do right now and we can't afford for him to be distracted."_

"_Does Alisha have a copy of our computer files or are those gone?" Brennan asked as he put his hands on Shalimar's shoulders. "If you're going to do anything we'll need those."_

"_After I've been with Adam for as long as I have I think I've learned a thing or two about being obsessive about back-up systems. Alisha has one, Toni has a partial, and Dr. Marcus has a partial. In fact he's been working on finding that elusive key to stabilization. All we have to do is find a way to pick up what we need."_

"_What we need is a good night's sleep." Lexa said as she got up and pulled Jesse to his feet. "You'll never get to sleep on that sofa, rich boy, just come on and we can share the bed"_

"_Looks like she's right about how much things have changed." Shalimar whispered when the two moleculars were out of earshot. "I don't know how long it is going to work for, but at least they are going to try to get along for now."_

"_Come on, let's go on to bed and let them do whatever they are going to do with out us speculating." Brennan turned and headed to the bedroom that he and Shalimar would be sleeping in._

_In their shared bedroom, Jesse was waiting for Lexa to climb into the bed. For a woman who always seemed to act rashly she was very hesitant to get into the bed and it was driving him crazy. _

"_Lexa, just get into the bed."_ _Jesse sighed as he got up and walked over to her. "I promise that I won't bite."_

_Lexa opened her mouth to make a smart remark, but could think of nothing to say. "Alright, I'll get in bed." she let him lead her over to the bed but froze when he laid down and held up the blanket for her. "I can't do this. It was a bad idea for us to try to share the bed, I'll go sleep on the sofa."_

"_Lexa, relax." Jesse sat up and pulled her onto his lap. "What is so wrong with you getting into the bed with me? We're just going to be sleeping. I promise that I won't even touch you." he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm not expecting you to have sex with me, alright? Just lie down and go to sleep."_

"_That's the problem, Jess." Lexa whispered. "I've never shared a bed with a man that I haven't had sex with, well excluding a few times when Leo and I were on the run, but he was my brother."_

"_You don't have to earn a place in this bed, Lexa. I just want you to get some sleep so you're ready for whatever tomorrow may bring us." he softly kissed her temple. "You need to get some sleep, Lexa. It is what will get you through tomorrow."_

_Lexa turned slightly and kissed him, softly forcing him to lie down. "I may not have to earn a place in this bed, but I do want to be with you." her long body curled against him and she closed her eyes as she kissed him. "We've only got tonight. Tomorrow is going to put us in too much danger, and I want to do this before I die."_

"_Alright."_ _Jesse agreed as he ran the fingers of one hand through her hair. "We'll spend the night together, and other day we'll talk about our relationship."_

"_One day at a time." Lexa whispered as they sank into a kiss._

_The next morning._

_Lexa woke up, slightly surprised to find herself in bed with Jesse. It was a surprise that they had both stayed in the bed. She had fallen asleep, expecting one of them to get up in the middle of the night, but they were still together._

_Jesse woke up as Lexa stirred in his arms. "He gently played with her long, dark hair as they laid in the bed. "Morning, Lexa." he whispered after a few minutes of silence._

"_Morning."_ _Lexa whispered and closed her eyes again as she rested in his arms with her head on his shoulder. "Are we ok?"_

"_I think we are." he stopped playing with her hair and took her hand in his. "You ready to talk about us, or are you wanting to wait a little while longer to do that?"_

"_We can't be together right now." Lexa whispered as she cuddled closer to him. "You have to have your mind on finding a way to stabilize us, and that is all there is to it. We can try a relationship later. Once you have the answers that we need then we'll figure all there is to it. We'll know what we're doing."_

"_And whenever you get the need for sex you'll just come to me for it? That is how you ruin friendships, Lexa. If we are going to try to be together we need to do that now, not later after we've messed up what we have. You are not going to keep me from my work, in fact you might actually help. I'm going to need something to keep me from stressing out too much, and I'm sure that you could be a great help in that field."_

"_If you want to do this you are going to have to agree to one day at a time. We'll take it slowly and see what happens. I can't promise that we'll stay together. It's just beyond my power."_

"_It's alright." he held her close for a second. "You and I can take this how ever you want. There is no reason for us to rush through this. We can spend as much time figuring this out as you want."_

"_We need to get up." Lexa said as she pulled away from him and stretched out his arms. "We've got to get all of our things together if we want to make it."_

"_We're not going out there today." Jesse sighed as he closed his eyes. "We need to give it a day or two before we go out and do anything. Besides, none of us want to get up this morning, not after two days of walking and hitchhiking to get here. That was the first night of sleep any of us has had in the last three nights."_

"_Fine."_ _Lexa sighed as she climbed back into the bed next to Jesse. She was irritated by the idea of them waiting to make a move, but her irritation faded to concern when she saw Jesse wince as she curled up close to him. "You alright."_

"_I'm fine." he wrapped an arm around her should so she could rest with him. "I've probably got a couple of bruised ribs after the other day. It's no big deal."_

"_You've been in pain for the past three days, and I had no idea, none of us did." she sat up slightly and gently pushed his blonde-brown hair out of his face. "We were not the last bit gentle last night, you must have been in horrible pain while we were at it last night."_

"_The pleasure out weighed the pain." he smiled slightly and pulled her back down into his arms and let her lay her head on his shoulder. "I just want to get a little rest for now. You can play doctor later."_

"_Alright."_ _Lexa agreed as she carefully put one arm across his chest and closed her eyes. "You had better tell me if you feel even the slightest bit of pain."_

"_You just need to stop worrying about me and get yourself some rest." he kissed her forehead and started to gently stroke her back. "I'll be alright in a day or two, Lexa. You don't have to worry about me so much." he pulled her closer against his body and closed his eyes as they drifted back to sleep._

_Two weeks later_

_Alisha Keary's office, in the newly rebuilt ZTD agricultural company_

"_Oh, Jess." Alisha sighed when she walked into the office. She hugged him tightly, kissed him on the cheek, and hugged him again. "I was so worried about what had happened to you when all they said was that it was 'about Mr. Kilmartin.' There is a rumor in the paper that a man fitting your description died in an explosion a few weeks ago."_

"_You know better than to believe what you hear." Jesse stepped away from her and sat down on the sofa. "I need to get the things I asked you to hold onto for me."_

"_Of course."_ _Alisha walked to a picture hanging on the wall. "I put everything in here because I didn't want anyone else to know about it." she pulled out the two small bundles and handed them to Jesse._

_As Jesse took the packages from Alisha he noticed a bright sparkle on her left hand. "Who is the lucky guy that gave you that ring?"_

"_Aaron Matthews, you probably knew him when you were in boarding school. I think that you two went to the same schools all your life."_

"_Congratulations." he got up and quickly hugged her. "I've got to go. It's only a matter of time before someone comes here to question you about me."_

"_Hold on a second." Alisha walked back over to the vault and pulled out another bundle, one that was larger than the first two. "Your father signed over your portion of the stock to me. This is your dividends for the past few years." she gently cupped his face in her hand for a second. "Be safe."_

"_You too, and thanks for the help. I'll try to come to the wedding if I can, but you probably won't see me." he turned and left._

"_Took you long enough."_ _Lexa said as Jesse got in the car. "She give you everything that you need?"_

"_She gave us what I asked her to hold onto for me, and some money that she says I supposedly earned through my stock share."_

"_Hopefully it will be enough to get us something to eat for a while." Lexa pulled the car out onto the road. "I'm just glad that Shalimar managed to get this car for two thousand instead of the six thousand that guy was asking for."_

"_We need it, and now that you and Shal are going to be starting to work it will be a little easier on us." he opened the first package and started to go through the fake ids. "You two have your first parties tonight, don't you?"_

"_One big party."_ _Lexa sighed. "First we'll play with the make up and then we pull out the lingerie, whips, and leather straps for 'romance enhancement.' I really do want to kill you for making us do this."_

"_Don't worry so much, Lexa." he reached over and took her hand. "Brennan has got a few jobs lined up. It is all normal stuff like mowing lawns and painting houses, but it is something at least."_

"_I don't know why you don't go to MIT and get a job. I'm sure they'd love to have you up there as a teacher. Think of how much you could teach those students and how much money you could make for us."_

"_And how much distance would be between us." he gently squeezed her hand. "I'm going to find something here. I'd rather be near you."_

"_Believe it or not I'm not going to pledge my love for you because you are wanting to stay." she turned onto the highway. "I actually think that you are being an idiot for not going and getting yourself a job that you can probably support all of us with. You just need to go out and try to do something for real. It is pointless for you to be waiting around on me. You are never going to get anything from me, and it is just going to be that way. I want you to go off and make something of yourself, you'd be happier that way."_

"_Pull over." Jesse ordered. "Just go and pull over." he waited till Lexa had pulled over into the emergency lane and put the car in park. "What are you talking about, Lexa? I thought that we had talked about this and that we were going to try to get involved in a relationship. We agreed to take it slow, and I promise that I'm not going to rush you. In fact I need to take some time myself to get adjusted to this. I've got my own issues to work through too, Lexa."_

"_It's not a good idea, Jess. I know that it is something that we both want, but there is just not a way for us to make this work. We need to accept it and move on. You and I are not going to work here and now."_

"_Lexa, if we can make a relationship work now, with all that we have going one, we can survive anything that is thrown against us. This time that we've been spending together has been a good foundation for us to start a relationship on. It has been the best thing that I've been involved in. We have something, Lexa. We actually have an honest chance to make this work, a chance to really have a defined relationship. If you try to end it now we could loose all that we've gained between us during the last couple of weeks."_

"_Jess, if it is that easy for us to loose whatever this relationship of ours is, then maybe we aren't as strong together as we thought. Maybe we should just forget what has happened to us since the destruction of the Dominion."_

_Jesse leaned over and pulled Lexa to him for a passionate kiss. "Answer me one thing before you say that you really want to break up. When we're together is it just sexual intercourse or are we making love?"_

_Lexa bit her lip as she hesitated for a second. "I'll admit that I've thought of it as us making love, but how does what we call it matter?" It doesn't decide if we should be together."_

"_If you're already deciding that we've been making love for the last few weeks it is an important part of if we should be together. Lexa, we're good together. We make this work, no matter how much it shouldn't be working. Now if you are sure that you really want to go off and ruin whatever it is that we have, that is your choice, but I'm fighting for us, Lexa. I want to be with you, maybe for the rest of our lives."_

"_There is a lot to talk about." Lexa whispered as she gently caressed his face with her fingertips. "We both want very different things from our lives, and some how we've got to make it all work. in the last year you've somehow broken down every wall that I ever built and forced me to start caring again. After years of me only caring about my brother and building walls to protect both of us, you broke in with just a few simple stupid things that made me forget why I couldn't trust other people."_

"_And what kind of simple, stupid things made this happen to you?" Jesse asked as he put one hand behind her head and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb._

"_The way you never had any respect or my privacy._ _You never knocked on the door or called me on the com-link, you just showed up, pestering me about whatever it was you needed from me. Then there was the way that you used to get me to sit and play chess with you, just so we could have a little time to talk alone. It was all of that, and so many other things that you just did because they were a part of who you are. You did so many things to break down my walls, and you never knew."_

"_Can we give us a try then?" he gently kissed her. "Can we just try having a relationship, being together? It doesn't have to be anything serious yet. We can just see what we want to do together. We don't have to make a commitment. I'm not even ready for that."_

"_If we aren't going to make a commitment what are we going to do?" her ice-blue eyes were locked into his softer blue ones. "You have never been able to do anything that you didn't take seriously. How are you going to deal with us and whatever relationship that we have unless there really is going to be eventually be something real and serious between the two of us."_

"_I guess that we just look at it as an experiment. Neither one of us is ready to get married, or even to think about a lifetime together, but I know that both of us are interested in trying to be together. It doesn't have to be anything major or permanent. All I am thinking about is a possibility."_

"_A possibility." she smiled as she repeated the word. "A possibility for what?"_

"_I don't know. I guess a possibility for a whole lot of things between us."_

"_If we really want to do this we need to decide exactly what we want. We need to make some rules. If there aren't any boundaries set up for us right now, we'll both end up going places that we'll later regret going and I know that is the last thing that we want to do here."_

"_You've probably got that right." Jesse agreed as he softly kissed her. "Just tell me that we do get to be physical or I'm not ever going to have the patience for this." his bright blue eyes sparkled with a playful glow. "I've already had to wait almost a year to get you into bed with me."_

"_And if you don't behave yourself you won't be getting in bed with me again. I want us to set up rules about other things." she pulled away from him and started the car again. "We need to pull out of the emergency lane for now and get to a place that is not part of a highway to have this discussion. I'm not sure that it would be a good idea for a cop to be around us since we are carrying four sets of fake ids. I just don't think that would look too good for us right now."_

"_You're probably right." Jesse sighed as Lexa pulled back onto the highway. "Why don't we go out somewhere tonight to talk about it? It can be just the two of us so Shal and Bren don't have to know what we are talking about or how serious we are about starting a relationship together."_

_Four months later._

_An old farmhouse just outside of town._ _a.k.a. "Safe Haven."_

_Lexa closed her eyes as she let the steaming water of the shower flow down over her body and rinse off all the mud that clung to her skin after her day of gardening. If she had learned anything that day, she had learned exactly how much she hated to dig around in the dirt, even if it meant that they might be able to produce their own food to support themselves for a while. Out of the four of them only Shalimar seemed to like the 'great outdoors' and even then it had not been the feral who was so keen to attempt to raise a massive garden. No, it had been her preppy, computer geek, rich-kid boyfriend that had come up with the idea and then talked Lexa into going out and planting the garden. _

_She shivered slightly as the shower curtain partially opened, but immediately warmed up when she felt Jesse's arms wrapping around her. Even though she was still upset about having spent the day in the dirt, the feel of their bodies so close together, underneath the hot water, was enough to let her start to relax. "Do you have any idea of how much trouble you are in after today? Shal and I have a party tonight and I had been hoping that you and I could spend a little time practicing my craft before I had to go out and help other people improve themselves in bed."_

"_We've still got sometime." Jesse answered softly as he gently kissed first her shoulder and then her neck. "I think that by showering together we may be able to save you a few extra minutes that you can spend with me, alone, in our room."_

"_I just guess that we'll have to see about it. You know that I still want to kill you for getting me involved with this whole 'romance enhancement' and make up business. It's just not my kind of work. I'm much better at other things."_

"_I'm pretty sure that I couldn't find you another job as a mercenary, no matter how hard I worked. It is just not the kind of job that you can look for in the help wanted pages." he turned her around to face him and kissed her softly. "Why don't we finish washing this mud off and then go make our way back into bed? You can take out all your anger there."_

"_You aren't worried that I might 'accidentally' hurt you?" Lexa raised an eyebrow as she kissed him and then pushed him back against the wall. "We both know how dangerous I can be when I'm ticked off. Wouldn't want to ruin what we have by me getting a little too rough for you."_

"_Then why don't we start experimenting with you level of annoyance here where we've got easy access to the first aid kit?" he cupped her chin and kissed her harshly. With in just a few minutes they had forgotten about their shower and were busy making love._

_Late that night._

_Lexa stared out the window as Shalimar drove back home after their 'party.' Both of them had sold plenty of merchandise, but neither of them really wanted to be out that night._

"_You know, this is one of the craziest ideas Jesse has ever had." Shalimar said, finally breaking the silence. "I really don't see how either one of us is fit for going out and telling people how to improve their sex lives when we don't even have time for sex lives of our own. It's been over a week since Brennan and I have had a chance to make love."_

"_I don't know." Lexa sighed. "At least we manage to make tons of money by doing this. We net more money than either of the boys do. We make in a night what they make in a week." she looked back over at Shal. "Has Jess always been such a romantic?"_

"_I don't know." Shalimar answered slowly. "What do you mean?"_

"_You talk about how we don't have time to romance our men and how you and Brennan haven't been together sexually in a good while, but Jess and I hardly go more than a couple of days. He manages to figure out when we'll have exactly the seconds needed for sex and finds me. Then there are other little things he's done. Right now he's probably drawing the water for my bath so I can get in the tub the second we get in. he does it every single time that you and I have a party. Then after I get out of my bath he'll fix me up a snack and massage first my back and then my feet."_

"_He definitely does spoil you." Shalimar smiled. "I really cant think of him having ever been 'that' good to any of his past women, but he also never really had a chance to spoil any of his past girlfriends. You're really the first of his little parade of girls that he's actually lived in the same place as. It make sense for him to be all that sweet and romantic though. He's always been a good friend to me. Now if only he'd take a break from plotting and planning how and when to seduce you and use some of that time to teach Bren how to be romantic."_

"_With all of the things we tell other women and all the sexual stuff we sell them, you can't teach your own guy how to be romantic?" Lexa teased, her cool blue eyes sparkling in rare amusement. "You've got to make him do what you want him to do. It is all about teaching him that unless he does exactly what you want him to do he's not going to get what he wants from you."_

"_Is that what you do to, Jess! Tell him that if he wants to get laid he has to treat you like a princess!" Shalimar laughed. "No, really what did you two agree on for the little 'rules' of your relationship? Jesse said that you two have to talk about every decision that is going to affect both of you, but that is all that I've heard of the little collection of rules that you two have."_

"_We really didn't make that many rules. All that we really wanted to do was put out a few boundaries that we wouldn't cross yet. We both need just a little time before we make any sort of commitment, and to keep us from over stepping our comfort levels we decided to set down just a couple of rules. Then we do have a couple of rules that he feels that any relationship should have." Lexa's tone was even, but she was fighting to keep it that way. She had thought that Jesse needed to keep quiet about the agreement that they had made when they had set up their rules. It had been her understanding that they weren't going to share the details of their lives with the others. Now it seemed as if she had been alone in that thought. _

_Maybe she should have talked to him about it, but then it had been so hard for her to keep his mind on their discussion that night. Of course that too could have been helped if she had managed to keep her own mind on the subject of their rules. She had found herself falling the same way Jesse had. That night all either of them had wanted was to finish making rules and get into bed so they could get to making love, and even as they wee making the rules they had been making advances towards the bed and towards sex. If her mind served her right, she and Jesse had ended up making love and rules at the very same time, and if she was right, their last rule, the one about telling each other everything, had been made just seconds before an absolutely mind blowing orgasm that had left her completely spent. It had been the first time that she had ever reached that point of climax with him, and since that night she knew that he had done all he could to make it happen each time that they were together. _

_It was a care that none of her previous lovers had made, and in all truth she couldn't remember ever having one of her lovers bring her to more than the brink of an orgasm before abandoning her. It was one of the many reasons she was still letting Jesse get away with so many things that she probably would have put a stop to very early in. One of those days she was going to make herself make him behave, she just had to do it._

"_We're home." Shalimar said as she parked the car. "Let's go in and see how many of your predictions about Jesse are right. If they are, I may just go ahead and give your ideas on how to control men a try. I would love to see what it would be like if Bren was just as good at this spoiling process as Jess is. It could be an interesting situation."_

"_Just as long as you don't tell either of them that it was me who gave you those ideas._ _I don't think Jess would be happy with me forgiving away his secrets."_

"_Oh, don't worry. I don't even want Bren to know that those ideas were anything but my own observations. he wouldn't be very happy if he thought that you and I had been gossiping about him and Jess. He'd really hate the idea of us comparing his romantic style to Jesse's." Shalimar smirked as she pulled out both of her make up cases and walked over to the climate controlled closet where they stored their make up while Lexa put the display lingerie into the cedar closet. "I actually have wanted to ask you something. Since you've had the opportunity to make out with both of them, between the two of our dear boys which one is the better kisser?"_

"_I don't know if I'd really be the right one to ask about that. Both of the times I kissed Brennan it was something very un-romantic. He and I only kissed because I wanted to prove a point. At least that is why I kissed him the first time. The second time it was only because I was helping him out on that mission. He resisted too much that second time for it to be anything at all, and that first time he was so shocked that he could do anything. Besides," her blue eyes sparkled brilliantly, "would I still be with Jess if he wasn't a good kisser and extraordinary in bed? Those things are very important."_

"_You know, there really are times that you crack me up, especially when it comes to the guys. But really, what would you say about my question. Which of our two boys do you think is the better kisser? And actually, why do you think that they are the better one? I'd really like to know since we've started into our guys."_

"_Jesse, bur probably because I'm his girlfriend and he and I have a connection. I've learned a lot lately about relationships, and something that I've learned is that kissing and sex aren't really all that good unless you have some sort of connection between the two of you. Maybe Brennan and I can't judge each other only because there was no connection be the two of us." Lexa took a slow breath, she was being more honest with Shalimar then she ever had been and it was slightly scary. "Is there any girl that they both dated?"_

"_Bren and Jess ever dating the same girl?_ _That would only happen when hell freezes over. I've seen them both into the same girl, but neither of them will date anyone that the other has already dated. It is just too much of a contest between them. Once one of them wins the other doesn't want to be second place. If you ask me that is the most disgusting thing."_

"_Men can be so full of themselves!" Lexa laughed. "I don't know why they have to be competitive about everything, but those two are horrible. They keep getting into all sorts of competition. I don't thing there's been a day since I came back to Mutant X that I haven't seen the two of them trying to compete with each other over something or another. Probably over every single thing they could ever compete over has been competed over, and they still manage to find away t compete over at least one thing everyday."_

"_Those two really can be enough to drive you crazy." Shalimar unlocked the door and they walked into the house. "Be glad you've only been dealt with them for a year, I've been in it for over three years now. After all of the competition that goes on around here I don't know how anyone has managed to deal with those two. If they don't ever grow up I'm going to have to kill them."_

"_You're going to have to kill who, Shal?" Jesse asked as he stepped into the kitchen and pulled Lexa to him for a quick kiss. "If anyone is bothering you two I'll handle it. It's probably my fault if you've got some creep following you after one of those parties. You two know I'd never have you in this job if I didn't have to."_

"_Don't worry, Jess." Lexa whispered as she let him wrap his arms tight around her waist. She reached up and gently caressed his face with her fingertips. "We were actually talking about you and Bren. A bit of a discourse on what annoying habits you tow have. Of course, I guess that even if you get on our nerves we do love you two quite a bit. Now, why don't we go upstairs and slip into that bath together? I might like to have a just a few minutes alone with you, and a slightly different version of this morning might just be a bit of fun to experiment with." her voice was a low whisper and as she said the last part, she smiled gently, knowing that Jesse was falling under her spell. _

_Maybe all of her work with the romantic enhancement parties had managed to teach her a couple of new tricks after all. She slowly kissed him, try to work over the part of him that she knew wanted to hear the flaws that she and Shalimar had found in him. His insane level of curiosity was one thing that still made her wonder how he had managed to stay a love for as long as he had. The one thing that she had learned was the greater the curiosity you had the greater chance that you were going to get yourself killed. She bit her lip as she thought about loosing Jesse and then wrapped her arms tight around him to help reassure herself. She was determined that nothing would ever take him away form her. For several seconds she held him tight as tears dripped from her eyes._

_Six Months Later_

_New Years Eve_

_Inside New Sanctuary_

"_We really did it!" Jesse said as he poured the champagne into everyone's glasses. "We finally managed to rebuild!" he pulled Lexa to him for a quick kiss. "We'll celebrate tonight and then tomorrow we can get right back to work!"_

"_And the fact that this is New Years Eve makes it even better than it would have been any other day!" Shalimar smiled brightly and leaned back into Brennan's arms. "A new beginning to a new life! I know that we've never done this before, but w all should talk about what we are going to do to improve ourselves over the next year."_

"_How do you improve on perfection?" Brennan joked. "Alright, over the next year I'll actually start making some steps to get Shal and me married."_

"_About time that you two finally got your act together."_ _Jesse reached over and took Lexa's hand. "I'm going to take the time to finally get the last dregs of my past out of my life." he paused, but managed to lose his fear when Shalimar gave him a gentle, reassuring smile. "As of today I'm working towards the future, and everything that happened before I joined Mutant X is gone, so is anything that happened in those early days that is still affecting me."_

_Lexa smiled tightly, she now wanted to know what skeletons Jesse had hidden in his closet, but she also knew that there was no way he would tell her if he did not want to. "I'm sticking with the same challenge I've had for a long time now, learning how to let people in again."_

"_I feel guilty about this since I'm the one who suggested that we do this, but I don't really know what to say." Shalimar laughed. "I guess I just want to improve in everyway that I possibly can."_

_Two and a half weeks later._

_Lexa sipped at her wine while she waited on Jesse to finish up his work at the computer. They ad planned a quiet, romantic night at home. It was going to be just the two of them since Brennan and Shalimar were gone for the weekend. Now it was all falling apart._

_Barely ten minutes into their romantic night the computers had signaled that something was wrong. Jesse had promised that it would only take a few minutes to get the work done, but after two hours he still was not done._

_She could have forgiven him if it had not been for the fact that Jesse had done this several times already. every time that they had planned something to be together something had happened to keep them from being able to follow through their plans. At first she had ignored the little interruptions, but now she was starting to feel as if Jesse felt it was more important for him to work on the new systems than to spend time with her._

_She had been ignored every time there had been even a small glitch in the system. There had been times that he felt he considered perfecting the computer system and making sure that everything was working perfecting the most important things in his life._

_She set down her glass and stalked over to the computer to see how much more work he had to do. "Are you even going to be spending a second with me tonight or do I need to go swap this naughty negligee for some sweat pants and a t-shirt?"_

"_I'm working as fast as I can, Lexa." Jesse answered with out looking up. "I should be done in just another minute or two, but if you don't stop bothering me I'm never going to get this done."_

"_Is that what I am! A bother!" Lexa demanded as she slammed her fist down on the counter. "Would you rather just spend your time with your precious little computers! You spend more time with them in a day than you've spent with me in a week!"_

"_Lexa, don't start into this right now!" Jesse snapped as he finally looked up from the computer. "I am trying my best to keep this place as safe as possible, so why don't you let me do that!"_

"_We haven't made love since New Years Eve, and even then you left me on the brink of my second orgasm because your precious little computers sounded an alarm about needing to be de-fragmented! I'm starting to think that you don't even want to be in this relationship anymore! Not if it is going to mean not being at the computers twenty four seven."_

"_I'm not at the computer all the time, Lexa! I have done everything that I can for you! As for our sex life, you are the one who falls asleep before I can come to bed. It's like your asleep the second after your head hit's the pillow. If it was actually important to you, you'd at least try to stay awake."_

"_Oh, no you don't! I tell you that I'm going to bed and you say you'll be there in just a minute, and then you just don't come for hours. I've waited nearly five hours once and you still didn't come to bed! Do you even care any more, Jess!"_

"_You should know how I feel about you! If you don't know how I feel then maybe we shouldn't be together anymore!"_

"_Maybe we shouldn't! It's not like we're going anywhere in our relationship! Let's just end it now and forget about it!"_

"_Fine!_ _It's over! Just don't expect me to listen to you if you come in tomorrow morning talking about how you weren't thinking. If we end this now we end it for good. We're not going to come back to this!"_

"_It is completely over!" Lexa hissed and then stalked off to move her things out of Jesse's room and into one of the spare rooms. As she moved her things and opened and closed dresser drawers and doors, Lexa made as much noise as she possibly could. Once everything we moved out of Jesse's room she took up an old t-shirt and a pair of shoes to change into and headed into her bathroom for a long bubble bath._

_The second she slipped into the steaming water, her tension began to melt away. Getting into the fight with Jesse had been the last thing she had wanted to do that weekend, but it was something that she could call 'for the best.' It had become more and more apparent that Jesse was not going to make the changes their relationship needed. Whatever problems he had with commitment were still affecting him, and he wasn't ready to let them go. They had been living together for a year, and he still hadn't mentioned marriage. It was an instinctual thing. If he wasn't even willing to broach the subject, he wouldn't be willing to actually get married. It was that easy. The soft lapping of the water against her skin began to relax her, but no matter how relaxed she became, there was no way for her to forget what was happening to her._

_Granted, Jesse had been ignoring her for the last few weeks, and when he had managed to find some time to spend with her his mind had been miles away from where they were they really were; but then there still was the fact that the was over attentive, but she had always love it. He had managed to spend time with her even as he had worked on the stabilization cure. If he hadn't proven his love then, he never could have._

_But all of that didn't matter any more. No matter how strong their relationship had been during the beginning, they had started to drift away from each other. She had found it harder and harder to put her thoughts and feelings into words for him, and slowly she ha stopped talking to him about anything that really mattered. The silence became more and more natural, and the last thing that she wanted to was talk._

_After a while Lexa got out of the water, pulled on the clothes that she had brought in with her and headed to what was now her room to go to bed. At first she couldn't get to sleep, not with being so used to having Jesse hold her tightly. She had to make herself fall asleep with out him. It was a task that took several hours, but at last she was sound asleep._

_Four months later._

_Main computer lab of New Sanctuary._

"_Ok, try it now." Lexa said as she finished typing in a command on the computer._

"_Alright…it's not working." Jesse sighed. "I really thought that one was going to work."_

"_Take a break and get back to it later." Lexa suggested as she pushed her hair back from her face. "You don't have to do this now you know."_

"_Hold on, let me check and see if there is something that you're missing." he got up and walked over to her. "Don't bother getting up, I'm just looking it over." he stood behind her and put his hands on the computer desk to support him as he leaned towards the computer screen._

_Lexa felt a slight shiver go down her spine as their bodies came into such close contact. The room was already warmed by the heat of the computers, and the added closeness between them was almost more than she could bare. It had been four months since she had broke up with him, and even now there still weren't many things that she had managed to tell him._

_Only a week after their break up they had found themselves in a heated argument, and then they had found themselves in the middle of a furious round of sex. Just a couple of weeks after that Lexa discovered that she was pregnant. For a month and a half she stressed over how she was going to tell Jesse the news. The had finally started to act as they had when they first met, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin that. The same day that she decided to tell him, she lost the baby._

_She had been lucky that it was a day that Jesse had left on a mission for a couple of weeks. All of the time she had spent bonding with Shalimar had been to her own good; and the other woman had spent the whole day with her. It had been the only way that she had managed to get through it._

"_Looks like everything is exactly how it should be." Jesse sighed as he looked closely at the screen. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with all of this!" he roughly pushed back from the desk._

"_Come on, Jess." Lexa got up and gently rubbed his shoulders. "Let's go and get something to eat, and then we can try again."_

"_We've got to get this done, Lexa. That is the only way that we're going to keep this place safely running." he turned back around to face her and partially froze. It had been months since they had touched, not since that last furious time together. Her hands had been soft against his skin, and the last thing that he wanted was to end the contact._

"_You're stressed out, Jess." Lexa pulled her hands away from him and held her arms firmly against her sides. "Go take a nap or find something that relaxes you."_

"_I think I've got something." he whispered and pulled her to him for a long, slow, deep kiss._

_Lexa's eyes shot wide open and then fluttered close. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms tightly around his body. For several seconds she was relaxed. Jesse's strong hands were already tugging on the tie of her halter top, and he held her tightly so that she had no chance to get away._

_After several long, time-stopping seconds Jesse pulled back from Lexa and gently cupped her face in his hand so that he could stare into her eyes. "Hey." he almost laughed and broke out into a charming smile._

_Lexa melted at his easy smile and good nature. "Why did you do that?" she was already stepping closer into his arms._

"_I don't know." he confessed as he gently put one arm around her waist and held her close to him. "I've really missed you."_

"_I've been right here, Jess." Lexa whispered as she unsteadily reached up to caress his cheek with her fingertips. "I've been right here the whole time."_

_He could not move away from her and stayed there with his arms tightly around her. For several long seconds he could not speak and even breathing had become difficult. Finally the spell broke enough that he could step back from her. "We probably need to talk."_

"_No." Lexa shook her head violently. "We don't need to talk. Whatever just happened between us was nothing but a very serious mistake. There was a reason that we broke up, actually there were a lot of reasons."_

"_That was then, Lexa. A lot has happened since we broke up, and I'm ready for us to try again."_

"_We said that we were going to be final if we broke up. You were even the one who declared that if we broke up it would be permanent. That was your decree, not mine."_

"_I was angry when I said that." he took a slow, deep breath to calm himself. "Lexa, I want to at least talk. We may have broken up, but every time that we get involved in an argument or our emotions run high we end up in each other's arms. Even while we're pretending to hate each other we can't seem to keep our hands off of each other. I love you, Lexa."_

"_I'm not interested in getting back together with you. I've spent my life protecting my heart and the one time that I really let someone in it gets shattered to pieces. You knew what was the matter with me, and you still got me to take the chance. You knew full well that you had me completely out of my safety zone, and then you let me get hurt. How can I trust you again after you did that to me?"_

"_Lexa, baby, don't go down that road. I'm sorry that we had those problems, alright? But those are in the past. We've got a chance, one last chance to get it right. Don't waste this, Lexa. Just give me a chance to make this right for you. I promise that I won't let you get hurt like you did before. We will take it slow, and I'm going to make sure that my priorities are different than they were last time. I've got the computers nearly ready to take care of everything with out me having to get up and check on them. We've just got to work through the icy silence of the last few months."_

"_I don't want to get back with you." She whispered softly. "I don't want to go back through the things that happened last time. It was just too much for me to deal with. You need to go find someone that is actually going to work for you. We're too fiery hot and furious. The last thing that we need to do is try to make our relationship work. If it is not working out it is not going to work in the future."_

"_Fine."_ _Jesse sighed. "I'm going to finish up in here. I think that I might could actually get this done."_

"_Good luck." she whispered as she turned and walked out of the room, heading to her bathroom for a shower to relieve her body of the heat and sexual tension._

_Six weeks later._

_Lexa stretched out across the sofa as she waited for the nausea to go away. She shut her eyes tightly and focused on stopping the spinning in her head, it was beginning to be a very bad day. The last thing that she had wanted was to get sick, not the same day that she was supposed to go trying on bridesmaids dresses. She was already dreading putting up with a lot in the planning of the wedding._

_The wedding would be the very last thing that she would put up with when it came to one Jesse Kilmartin. They would have to put up with each other as the only bridesmaid and the best man. For the day of the wedding they would fool all of their friends into thinking that they were still able to get along, but nothing could be further from the truth. Since their last encounter things had become more and more strained between the two of them._

_The fights had been constant and non-relenting. Both knew how to argue with the other, and almost every time they disagreed it ended in a draw. They would stay at each other's throats until the other two pulled them apart. Looking at it from any angle it was easy to see that the problem was a deep running tension, one that was sexual and emotional. The last thing that either wanted to do though, was eliminate the tension with the only solution that had been found._

"_You alright, Lexa?"_ _Brennan asked as he walked into the living area and found Lexa lying on the sofa._

"_I'm fine I guess." Lexa answered as she sat up. "Shal and I were discussing the reception and I started to feel just a little queasy so I thought that I'd come lay down for a bit."_

"_If I didn't know better I'd think that you and Jesse had caught something from each other. He dropped out of his discussion with Shalimar by saying that he wasn't feeling that good. My guess is that it has something to do with the fact that you two have to be all mushy at the wedding."_

"_I don't know why we can't tell everyone that Jesse and I broke up. It is not like they are going to stop helping us because Jess and I split."_

"_They need to be confident in our team, and if they are not going to be confident in us if they thing that we can't get past our own personal problems."_

"_Alright, fine." Lexa sighed slightly. "I guess I need to get ready to for dress shopping."_

"_Have fun, and remember, it's about a year until the wedding. You and Jess have plenty of time to get through your problems. Maybe by then you two won't be trying to kill each other anymore. It maybe a long shot, but at least there is a slight chance."_

"_I'm not a big fan of long shots." Lexa answered coolly. "Maybe I can hold back my desire to kill him at the wedding. The hardest part will be dancing at the reception."_

"_Don't worry." Brennan laughed. "I promise that he won't try to kiss you."_

"_He'd better not." Lexa called over he shoulder as she left to go find Shalimar._

_Two months later._

_Lexa held her breath as the dressmaker tightened the ties of the corset that went under her dress. The corset tightened over her body, pulling in the minimal amount of fat she had and pushing her breasts up. The second that the woman finished tying the corset, Lexa let out her breath and slowly let herself catch up with the oxygen that she had missed. A second later the soft, ice-blue dress that she was to wear was slipped over her head and zipped up in the back."_

"_You look really good." Shalimar said as she walked in, her white flowing dress fluttered behind her. "You may steal the show at the wedding."_

"_Only if I faint from lack of oxygen."_ _Lexa answered as she carefully straightened out her skirt. "This corset is really tight."_

"_It is supposed to be. It was the dressmakers idea, not mine." Shalimar carefully tuckered hr hair back behind her ear. "We'll have our pictures done next month so that there is plenty of time for us to get all of the custom made invitations ready to go out."_

"_I don't know why you feel like Jesse and I need to be in the pictures with you. This is your wedding, not ours. Most definitely not ours."_

"_The wedding picture of me and Brennan will go on the invitations, and the other of all four of us will be tucked in with the letter that is going out to everyone." Shalimar looked up at her. "it will be a quick five minutes. The second that they're done with the photo you and Jesse can get into a huge fight over anything that you want to fight over."_

"_You've got a deal." Lexa almost laughed. "Now let me get out of this dress and back into my good old street clothes so that we can get out of this place."_

"_You are really going to make me crazy when it comes to this wedding." Shalimar answered as she started to help Lexa undo the dress and the corset. "As long as the dress maker doesn't think to make your dress fit perfectly over the corset I'll make sure that we don't tie it up too tightly for the wedding. I don't want you passing out at my wedding any more than you want to pass out."_

"_No, we don't want the wedding going that way after all of the fancy lying we've done just to make our 'friends' think that we're all still getting along all kissy-kissy."_

"_Don't worry!" Shalimar smiled. "I'm sure that over the next ten months you and Jesse will be back to a friendly relationship."_

_Nine and a half months later_

_Shalimar moved one of her chess pieces and then sat back to wait on Lexa to make a move. She smiled slightly as the other woman studied the board. It had been a difficult plan to carry out. First Lexa and Jesse had to be convinced to take part in the 'chess tournament.' and then she and Brennan both had to loose. The process of believably loosing the games had been the harder part, but Jesse had won with out much help and now if Lexa paid attention she would win._

_Lexa finally made her move and knocked over Shalimar's queen.. "Check mate."_

_Shalimar shook her head slightly so she could make her loss more believable. "I guess it looks like you and Jess are going to be playing each other now."_

_Lexa glanced over at Jesse and froze for a second. "Lets get started then." she said as soon as she found her voice again.._

"_Right."_ _Jesse took Shalimar's seat and stared to set up the pieces again. "You want to time the moves?"_

"_I think we'll be alright with out the timing." Lexa sat up her own pieces. "I hope that you're ready to loose."_

"_I'm not the one who is going to be loosing." he answered coolly, a spark of competitiveness glimmering in his soft blue eyes._

"_Care to make the stake a little bit higher?" she smiled slightly "We could always lay a little bet on the game. Say if I win you finally see about getting that spa room finished and if you win…"_

"_We sit down and talk through our problems. No more of us being ready to kill each other, and no more of this irritating silence. We're actually going to give at least our friendship another shot."_

"_Fine."_ _Lexa agreed. "Let's play."_

_Shalimar and Brennan exchanged a look and then quickly and silently slipped out of the room._

_Two hours later_

_Lexa held her breath while Jesse plotted his next more. They had both played very hard, neither wanting to loose, and now t was near the end of the game. Her last move had been difficult to find, and even though she had used it, it still left her slightly open to loose. As Jesse reached to make his move she tightly closed her eyes._

"_Checkmate." Jesse said slowly. "You want to talk now or do you want to get some alcohol to ease the process?"_

"_Jess, there really is nothing for us to talk about. We have not found a way to make this work after our break up, and I doubt that we are going to be able to get through our problems right now."_

"_Lexa, I just want to try. We had a good thing going for a while, and for the life of me. I can't figure out how we got to this point where we can't stand the be around each other any more."_

"_How can you not know what caused us to break up! Of course, you were too busy working to know that your work was the problem. After we moved in here you were so busy with the computers that you couldn't spend thirty minutes with me before you went rushing off to see that the computers were running smoothly. And there was no apology. You just left me and expected me to understand. I needed you and you couldn't find it in yourself to be there for me. You actually had the audacity to blame me too. Saying that I bothered you while you were working and that I didn't make any effort to wait on you."_

"_Lexa, those things were said in the heat of the moment. I didn't mean them." he reached over and took her hands gently in his. "Give me a chance to prove that I love you. I can't spend any more time away from you. We've tried this whole being apart thing, and it is just not working. Lets give up on this experiment and go back to what we know works. There is no point in making our selves miserable about this. We've got a shot to try again, and I'm ready to take that shot. The only thing that I'm waiting on now is for you to be ready to take that shot, so are you?"_

_Lexa hesitated as she thought about what Jesse was saying. She could hear every ounce of the conviction in his voice, but the last thing that she wanted to do was give in and let herself make another huge mistake. She was still hurting from her first try at a relationship with him, and there was no way that she was going to deal with getting her heartbroken by him again. Her thoughts raced as she ran over every possible scenario in her mind. Nothing that she could find told her that one way was better than the other. _

_She could not make a single decision about what she wanted to do, but she knew that she had to say something. "I'm ready to try." she blurted out, her voice and words sounding strange to her own ears. She had no premeditation of saying the words, but found herself absolutely meaning them._

_Jesse smiled and then leaned over the table so he could softly kiss her. "I love you." he whispered just before their lips met in a soft, long kiss._

_Lexa relaxed into the kiss, trying her best to not let him pull back away from her. Finally she had to let him pull away so they both could get a real breath. 'I've missed being with you." she whispered as she got up and walked over to him._

"_I've missed you too." Jesse whispered as he gently pulled Lexa onto his lap and started to slowly kiss her neck. "We are just going to have to work through our problems and make sure that we don't repeat them. I never want to loose you again, Lexa. Not after we've worked so hard to get back together."_

"_I think you mean how hard Brennan and Shal worked at it." Lexa whispered as she softly kissed him. Her hand was resting gently on his cheek and their eyes were locked together. "I'd bet anything that they've been plotting and planning on how they were going to get us back together."_

"_We do seem to have a couple of plotting and planning friends on our hands." he kissed her again and took her free hand in his. "Why don't we slip out of here and find some place just a little more private to talk. We could slip off to one of our bedrooms so we don't have to deal with Shal and Bren interrupting us."_

"_Not to mention the amount of fun that we can have if we are off in one of the bedrooms." Lexa smirked slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You know, it's been a long time since I've had any action that wasn't battery operated or the shower head in my bathroom. I think that it might be a very good idea for us to go in another room."_

"_I'd say that you are probably right." he gently stroked her face with his fingertips and then slowly kissed her. "Why don't we go ahead and slip out of here and go to my room. We won't be bothered while we're in there."_

"_That sounds good." she smiled softly and then got up and started to walk towards Jesse's room. After taking a couple of steps she turned around to see if Jesse had gotten up. "You coming or not?"_

"_I'm coming." Jesse said as he got up, walked over to Lexa, and then scooped he up in his arms so he could carry her back to his bedroom. He closed and locked the door behind them and then put Lexa down on the bed._

_A week and a half later, On the beach about five miles from sanctuary._

_Lexa and Jesse stood beside Shalimar and Brennan as the couple exchanged their vows. The sun was shining brightly, reflecting the clear blue of the ocean, and a soft cool breeze gently blew. it was perfect weather for the beach wedding, and it was going to turn out to be a perfect day._

_Lexa blushed slightly as Jesse caught her eye and slightly nodded towards a small beach hut and gave her a mischievous smile. She smiled back and nodded very slightly. They would probably miss half of the reception if they allowed themselves to wonder over to the hut, but it would be a chance to rid herself of the dreaded corset. The dress maker had made sure that her dress would only fit if she wore the corset, otherwise the bust was too loose and the waist would not fit properly. It was one thing about the wedding that she was not going to forgive Shalimar for, but maybe if Jesse got her out of that corset for a while she would forgive the bride. She shook her head slightly when she saw that Shalimar and Brennan were kissing. She handed Shalimar her flowers and got ready to make her way off with Jesse._

_Once the newlyweds were most of the way down the aisle and no one was paying attention to them, Jesse and Lexa quickly slipped over to the beach hut. The second they were inside with the door shut behind them, they were drawn almost magnetically into each other's arms.._

"_Get me out of this damn corset or I'm going to kill you." Lexa whispered as she started to work on getting him out of the tuxedo that he was wearing._

"_Lexa, slow down."_ _Jesse whispered as he gently pushed her back a couple of steps. "You've got to stay in your dress. There is no way that I'm going to be able to get you back in that corset properly."_

_Lexa raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "So why, exactly, did you want me to come here?"_

"_Oh, you know why." he answered as he pulled her back into his arms/ "I'm pretty sure that we can find a way to make this work."_

_Two hours later_

_Jesse and Lexa stepped on to the pier where the reception was set up. Silently, they merged into the crowd that was dancing. They both half-hoped that no one had noticed that they had been gone for the two hours since the end of the nuptials. The curious glances from a couple of the guests dashed their hopes, but they still chose to ignore them. The only thing that they were still hopeful about was the possibility that Shalimar and Brennan had not missed their presence. For a few moments they could not locate the other couple in the crowd, but relaxed once they saw how distracted Shalimar and Brennan were. The only thing that they had to do now was go through their required parts in the wedding and then they would be free to spend the evening as they wished._

_Later that night, on the way back home to Sanctuary._

"_So, Jess." Shalimar said as the car turned onto the final road back home, "how in the world did you manage to get Lexa so perfectly back into her dress? I'm a woman and that corset confuses even me."_

"_I have no clue what you are talking about." Jesse answered, keeping his eyes on the road and fingers firmly around the steering wheel. "Lexa has stayed in her corset for the whole day, trust me, I wouldn't be even thinking about taking her out of that dress unless the day was over."_

"_See, Shal." Brennan said, a playful tone to his voice. "I told you that you were wrong about seeing them going over to that beach hut. They just spent two hours with our guests and we couldn't find them. They both knew that their responsibility was to be with our guests today, and there is absolutely no way that they slipped out of the wedding to have sex, knowing that we will be gone for the next two weeks. They are both too mature to have just dropped their responsibilities like that."_

"_You saw us?" Lexa asked as she turned around to face the newly wed couple. "You actually saw us sneaking off after the ceremony?"_

_Shalimar smiled wickedly as she looked at the other woman. "I was actually pretty curious how long you two could last with out going at each other. Since you two got back together there hasn't been that much time that you haven't been off somewhere having se, and I really wanted to see if you could make it through the day with out having gone off like that." she reached up and took out the clip that held her blonde curls up, letting them cascade down over her shoulders. "Of course I'm not upset. I think Brennan and I would have done the very same thing if we could have, but since we were the ones who had gotten married we had to stay at he reception."_

"_Just as long as you're not too upset with us._ _I guess that we can owe you one for the next time you two need to slip out of something." Jesse smiled slightly, a good natured and laughing tone to his voice. "For now though, we will get you all packed up to go off on your little trip. Wouldn't want you to miss your flight."_

"_Only because you two don' want to miss out o a single second of the time that you could be spending together." Brennan laughed. "These next two weeks should give you more than enough time to make up for what you missed out on while you were fighting."_

"_I doubt that." Jesse's smile faded slightly as he looked over at Lexa. "She and I are never going to be able to make up for the last couple of years. That is always going to be something that I will regret about the last couple of years. If I had a chance to go back in time, I'd have never let her go. I'd have fought like hell to be able to keep her."_

"_You are way too romantic sometimes." Lexa whispered as she reached over and took his hand. "So, why don't we all go grab a drink and laugh over some of the wedding before you two rush off to Aruba, Honolulu, or wherever it is you're off to."_

"_We're going off to a week of jungle trekking South America for me." Shalimar laughed. "And then Brennan wants to spend a week in England. We'll be able to enjoy some of the most historic places in the worlds, and I'll be able to do some serious shopping."_

"_The one good thing about South America is that our little jungle trek will keep us far away from any shopping opportunities." Brennan sighed as Jesse finally pulled into Sanctuary's garage and parked the car. "Of course the bad thing is that we will be surrounded by tons of mosquito netting and bugs."_

"_I'm sure that she'll make up for it when you get to London." Jesse got out of the car and walked down to help Lexa out of the car. "I know that when I went with my mother we spent about two weeks shopping and still didn't get to all of the stores she wanted to go to. You'll have to just hit the highlights if you want to see the sights too."_

"_You know." Lexa began as a thought suddenly entered her mind. "We could all go on a nice little trip to England. I'm sure that the four of us would have a good time together."_

"_That is a great idea!" Shalimar exclaimed. "We could all go in a year or two and see the sights together. We might even be able to cash in some of our long over due vacation time and let some of the Underground leaders run things for a while. It would give them a bit of practice for an emergency that might pull us away."_

"_We'll talk about it later." Brennan said after exchanging a quick look with Jesse. "For now lets go chill a little bit before we leave."_

End of Flash backs

"He and I have been together for almost two and a half years now. He asked me to marry him the day after Shalimar and Brennan's wedding, and we've been working through getting to our wedding. There has been some great times and some horrible times, but we're ready now. Ready to take that step." Lexa finished.

"Interesting." Madeline smile slightly, a dangerous glow in her eyes. "I guess you expect me to tell you about myself now."

"That was our deal and I've kept my part."

"Alright." she let her fingers trail in the water. "Jesse and I spent a year together, hiding our relationship from Adam. We got married and he got kicked out of Mutant X. I ended up with some pretty vicious people on my tail so I faked my own death to keep Jess safe. It ended up that I was pregnant when I left, and when I gave birth my baby was still born. I've spent the last twelve years fighting to get back to Jess, and now that I'm here again I'm just as determined to hang onto him as you are. Of course since I'm not the one who tried to kill someone, I'll be chosen. Pity he can't understand that you know the truth about my powers."

"Then I guess we'll just have to see who he chooses." Lexa said and then turned on her heal as she walked out of the room.


	10. The Truth and A Wedding

"_Then I guess we'll just have to see who he chooses." Lexa said and then turned on her heal as she walked out of the room._

Two hours later.

Madeline quietly walked into the lab where Jesse was working. She smiled as she crossed the room to stand behind him and wrapped her arms tightly around his body. "You doing alright?"

"I'm fine." Jesse answered with out stopping his work. "You know that I still haven't decided what I am going to do about this situation. It is too complicated."

"I just want to spend a little time with you." Madeline whispered, leaning closer against him. "Can't you spend five minutes with me?"

"Alright, but if you start back to trying to seduce me I'm going back to work." Jesse put down the computer and followed Madeline over to one of the sofas just outside of the lab. "It's hard you know, trying to decide between you and Lexa. I get the feeling that I'm missing something in this whole ordeal. Pregnant or not, it isn't like Lexa to try to kill someone."

"Jealousy is a funny thing." Madeline shrugged as she snuggled against him. "You know, for twelve years I kept trying to imagine this, and I never could. At first maybe, but as time went on I couldn't."

"What couldn't you imagine, Li?" he asked softly as he began to slowly trace his fingers up and down the woman's leg.

"The way it feels when you hold me like this." She smiled softly and tilted her head back to look at him. Her smiled widened in surprise when he ducked his head down slightly to lightly kiss her. "I could imagine your kiss, the way you used to touch me when we made love, your laughter, and even the way those baby blues used to flame up with anger when we fought, but never the way you felt when we cuddled."

"Hard to believe that is the only thing that you forgot in all those years." Jesse smiled slightly and closed his eyes. It felt good to hold Madeline again. "I used to think about you that way too. I could dream about it and it would all seem so perfectly real. It really wasn't all that long ago that I stopped having those dreams."

She let her eyes close slightly and relaxed herself. "Do you really love that woman enough o marry her and spend the rest of your life with her?"

"I really do love Lexa that much." he answered gently. "She and I have been together for a long time and I'm really happy with her. Trust me, Li, if I hadn't been sure about my feelings for her I would never have asked her to marry me. I care about her too much to play with her feelings."

"And even having me here again isn't enough to make you doubt your decision to marry her?"

"Li, I'm begging you. Don't start into this with me. I love you, and you know that. I'm just having a little trouble with sorting through a hundred different emotions. You can believe me when I tell you that this has nothing to do with who I love more. The only thing that I'm looking at right now is what is best. You are the first woman that I married, and I love you. We had a good thing back then, but you've lied to me, for whatever reason, for the last twelve years. Lexa is pregnant with my child, and while she has her secrets, she has never lied to that degree. I don't know what to think of her standing over you with that knife, but I do know that there was something wrong there. That is an undisputed fact."

"Jess, you can't tell me that you really think it is possible for something other than jealousy to have set her off. I mean, what could make such a strong willed woman do something that she really didn't want to do? It just doesn't make any sense to me."

"Right now I've got no more of a clue as to what made her do it than you do.' he sighed and then looked up to see Lexa standing in a doorway a few feet from them. "I'll be back in a few minutes, Li." he said as he got up and crossed the room to where Lexa was. "Have you decided to really talk with me this time?"

"I've got proof for you now, Jess." Lexa put a small cassette tape in his hand. "Please listen to it."

"Alright." he agreed with a sight and then walked into the lab and pulled out a tape player. "This had better not be a trick." He put the tape in and pressed play.

"_Alright."_ Madeline's voice came in over the speakers. "_Jesse and I spent a year together, hiding our relationship from Adam. We got married and he got kicked out of Mutant X. I ended up with some pretty vicious people on my tail so I faked my own death to keep Jess safe. It ended up that I was pregnant when I left, and when I gave birth my baby was still born. I've spent the last twelve years fighting to get back to Jess, and now that I'm here again I'm just as determined to hang onto him as you are. Of course since I'm not the one who tried to kill someone, I'll be chosen. Pity he can't understand that you know the truth about my powers."_

"How did you get that on tape!" Madeline demanded as she stalked over to Lexa. "I was reading your thoughts to make sure that you told me the truth and that you weren't recording me! I knew that you would try to ruin everything with a stunt like that!" she raised a hand, ready to slap the other woman.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on her!" Jesse yelled as he grabbed Madeline's arms and pulled her away from Lexa. "It all makes since now. I knew that Lexa would never have tried to kill you like that! You lied to me the whole time that we were together! You lied to all of us!"

"Yes, she did." A strong voice said. "She lied to all of us and she some how managed to trick all of us into believing her lies."

Jesse and Lexa stared in disbelief as Adam walked in, leading a regiment of guards that were wearing uniforms neither one of them recognized.

"How did you get here!" Madeline demanded as she struggled to get away from Jesse. "I made sure that no one could follow me!"

"But you forgot that I know you." Adam said as he pulled a thing ringlet of metal from behind him. "I knew that you would come straight to Jesse if you ever got out." he stepped closer to her and put the ringlet on her head. "They're going to take you back now, Madeline. You've caused enough trouble to last for a long time."

With one quick signal from Adam the guards moved in, put handcuffs on Madeline and led her away, leaving Adam, Jesse, and Lexa alone.

"What's going on, Adam?" Jesse asked. "How did you get here, and what, exactly, did Li escape from?"

"There is a lot to answer. First off, Madeline is a psionic. She can read thoughts and make people do what she wants them to do. That ringlet keeps her from using her powers and also breaks some of her will. As for how I got here, the explanation goes back to the last time that you saw me. When the Creator took me it was because the time had come or me to lead First Nation. Madeline was sent to us by them.

"She was deeply in love with you, Jesse, and even though you may doubt it now, you loved her just as deeply. When she was told to abandon her post she began to fray, and after her baby was still born she had a complete nervous breakdown. Among other things, she was convinced that the leadership of First Nation was against her having a baby. No one in First Nation wanted her to loose that child, they all knew that it was what kept her hanging on with out you. Chris, her father, was very much looking forward to a grandson that he could enjoy playing with during his retirement. When he came to comfort her about the baby she killed him in cold blood. She's been in a mental clinic with in First Nation since that day.

"She escaped about seven months ago, and no one can figure out how. She never would have made it here if they had told me sooner, but the lower levels of our bureaucracy thought that they could handle tracking down one mentally disturbed woman. When they told me what had happened I knew exactly where to find her. The only thing that she's ever asked for in the last eleven years is Jesse." Adam took a long, slow breath. "I was scared that she would have already done something here, worse than just lying to you again, Jesse. I was scared that she would have killed Lexa. I know that you are confused about her right now, but don't think that every thing Madeline told you was a lie. Anything about First Nation and its inner workings was probably the truth."

Lexa's eyes narrowed as she listened to Adam . "Why didn't you tell us about First Nation?"

"There were many reasons, Lexa." Adam said gently. "On is growing in you now. The last thing I wanted was for the four of you to give up your lives to join First Nation. I wanted to see you happy, with a future ahead of you." he looked down at his watch. "Now, I suggest we all go to bed and get a good night's sleep because tomorrow we have a wedding to attend."

The Next Day.

Lexa smoothed out her long, white skirt as she looked into the mirror to check to make sure that everything was perfect. After the last couple of days she was surprised to find herself about to be married. Her dress, a beautiful dress that reached the floor with its partially full skirt and beautiful skin tight bodice fit perfectly. It was even more than she could have ever imagined for herself. The veil was short, the hem reaching just below her chin, and her hair was swept up in a dramatic style.

"It's time for you to go down stairs." Elissa, Jesse's twenty-year old cousin, said as she carefully helped Lexa straighten the veil.

The use of the Keary family mansion had been the last thing Lexa had expected when she was planning the wedding, but Alisha had insisted upon it. The Keary's and Elissa were the only parts of Jesse's past life that were involved in the wedding. No other family or friends would go anywhere near it but even for that Lexa was thankful.

"Thanks, Lissa." Lexa smiled gently at the girl. "You'd better get down their yourself. The bride follows the bridesmaid you know."

The young blonde smiled shyly as she straightened out her own skirt and picked up her flowers, a bouquet of white roses that stood out brilliantly against her red dress. "Thanks for asking me to do this, even though it was only because Mrs. Mulwray is about ready to deliver."

"I'd have asked you anyway." Lexa gently answered and took one last look at herself. She picked up hr own flowers, a bouquet of blood red roses, and then went out the door just a few steps behind Elissa. When she got to the head of the stairs she was surprised to find Adam standing there instead of Brennan. "What's going on?"

"I hope that you don't mind this minor change in plans." Adam said as he gently took her arm and began to slowly walk down the stairs with her. "I asked Brennan to let me be the one to give you away."

"I guess one small chance is alright." Lexa agreed as they approached the door to the ballroom.

The organ was playing softly and Elissa was almost at the head of the aisle. The small congregation held their breath as the organ's notes changed and the Wedding March began to play. Lexa and Adam smoothly walked down the aisle to where Jesse was waiting.

"Good luck to both of you." Adam said as he gently kissed Lexa's cheek and then gave her to Jesse.

The couple took the last couple of steps to stand in front of the Justice of the Peace, a woman who both Jesse and Lexa had liked, who was officiating the ceremony.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of this man and this woman in holy matrimony." The woman's voice was warm but serious. "Who gives this woman?"

"I do." Adam stated clearly.

"Jesse, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to honor, forsaking all others except for her, till death do you part?" the woman asked, even in her solemn role she was slightly smiling.

"I do." Jesse answered quickly.

"Lexa, do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to honor, forsaking all others except for him, till death do you part?"

"I do." Lexa answered, her voice already breaking.

"Repeat after me." the woman instructed as she looked at Jesse. "I, Jesse, take thee Lexa Marion Pierce, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

Jesse took Lexa's hands as he repeated the vows. "I, Jesse, take thee Lexa Marion Pierce, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"To have and to hold, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for as long as we both shall live." the woman finished and waited for Jesse to repeat the vows to Lexa.

"To have and to hold, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for as long as we both shall live."

Lexa smiled as Jesse finished his vows. She was so close now, all she had to do was get past a few more minutes and she would be married to him.

The Justice of the Peace turned to look at Lexa. "Repeat after me. I, Lexa, take thee Jesse Blake Kilmartin to be my lawfully wedded husband."

Lexa took a moment to control her voice before she began to recite her vows. "I, Lexa, take thee Jesse Blake Kilmartin to be my lawfully wedded husband."

"To have and to hold, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for as long as we both shall live."

"To have and to hold," for a second Lexa felt herself begin to finally relax, there was not much time now for anything to ruin the wedding, "for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for as long as we both shall live."

"Present the rings." The Justice waited until Brennan and Elissa gave rings to Jesse and Lexa respectively. "These rings are an outward symbol of you love and devotion to each other. Jesse, put the ring on Lexa's finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

Jesse carefully slipped the ring on Lexa's left ring finger, up to the middle knuckle, and then slid it all the way down as he repeated the vow. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Lexa, put the ring on Jesse's finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

Lexa held her breath as she slipped the ring onto Jesse's left ring finger. "With this ring, I thee wed." she repeated in a soft whisper.

"If anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be joined in marriage let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

Jesse and Lexa held each other's hands tightly, both dreading the possibility that Madeline could have slipped away from her guards to try to put a stop to the wedding.

"I now pronounce you man and wife." The Justice said, finally ending their nervousness. "You may kiss the bride."

Jesse carefully lifted Lexa's veil and kissed her, their marriage officially begun.

The End!


End file.
